Thursday, December 31, 2009

FUCK!

I made it another year. What a year. With alcohol poisioning, my ex getting married, my other ex getting knocked up and me almost being a dad, oh and the depression. I decided to post something before I'm too drunk to blog clearly.

So here's to another year. Why make a resolution that im going to break the same day. Im waiting for my ride. I'm the dd on the way but when we return I don't know. I'm drooling at the thought of drinking. And people say I have a problem. And I say fuck them. My rides here, happy new years!

Friday, December 25, 2009

Tis The Season

Everybody have a happly holidays, in my pants.

No really, Merry Christmas. I'll make a post w/o a rant.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Short Term Freedom

Life is short, enjoying it while it lasts.

Brittany Murphy

R.I.P.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Happy Unthanksgiving!

This will be the first year I'm not spending the holiday with my family. I can't deal with the drama anymore. Me and my friends are going over to another friends house who has a cool pad so we can chill and be drunk. No meds today.

I'm celebrating the food but not the reasons the holiday was based on. If we can kill native americans on purpose and accident isn't worth celebrating. I can go on forever, but I've complaining for years so you can catch my rant every year on this date on my blog.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

It's Been Awhile

I keep meaning to come write something. Today is no better than any other day so I decided to give an update.

As for my relationship status, I'm still dating the older woman. She told me she's divorced so I'm kind of knowing how she is feeling now. My mind isn't focused to look elsewhere so we're still together in a way.

As for my depression, still here. I'm off the bottle. Well off the bottle continuously. I'm taking alot of meds. A way to kind of numb the pain away. These meds kind brings out my mood swings more severe than before. When I take them I'm ok. As it starts going away I become more irrational. So these up and downs kind of keep me busy. I'm starting counseling, again. I want to be somewhat normal for the holidays and not be too doped up. Ten years from now I see myself in a psych ward.

I think I'm losing my sense of humor. Hopefully when I'm off the meds I can laugh at something. When is their something funny happening to somebody else when you need it?

Well, I'm out. I'll find a way to keep you guys more updated more often. Thanks for your support, goodbye.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

yeah

Thursday, August 06, 2009

It's Laundry Day

It's been awhile since I last talked. Life has been kinda chaotic for the past few weeks. I broke up with my girlfriend. It was a number of things thats been going on but I just had to end it before I go crazy. Dropping my toothbrush in the toilet was the straw that broke the camel's back. I'll blog later all the shit that when on to end it. After all of this, I feel much better. And Im already in another relationship. I wasn't planning on it, it just happened. Guess how old she is.......she's 44. I accidentally bumped into her and she dropped a book that I read awhile back that I liked so we kinda clicked. I never dated an older woman before. She's recently divorced and has 2 kids. Normally I would've just walked away and forget we ever met, but I think we may have something here. We'll see. I might have to babysit her kids. She avoids telling me their ages so I think they may be close to my age, awkward. If she starts buying me the same clothes that she gets for her kids then we're gonna have to talk.

I've relapsed a few times already. I quit the meetings. I can't stop drinking. The meeting allowed me to limit my drinking enough for me to know when too much is "too much". So Im an occasional drinker. I can say that I haven't been drunk in a long time or can't remember because I was too drunk. I don't get the logic of not drinking all together when you can just drink in moderation. And that's why a year later I'll have to have my stomach pumped from all the alcohol.

Today's laundry day for me. I'm out of underwear and I didn't feel like freeballin in my one pair of messed up shorts and I didn't want anything to "pop out". Soooooo I found some spongebob squarepants boxers my friend gave me for my birthday to wear. Makes me feel like a kid again. Guess it's appropriate since Im dating a woman almost old enough to be my mom.

One of the errands today I had to run was washing bird shit off my car. Its like a pterodactyl took a dump on my car. Kinda like a fly by shitting. The shit looked like the bird ate a baby elephant. I can go on forever with these jokes.

Other big news going on in my life that has nothing to do with me is my ex got engaged and Im not upset. Im happy for her. True, it easily could've been me. I blame my ups and downs. If I couldn't handle it, how could she? Oh well, I wish her the best of luck. Geez that last sentence was so unbelievable and lame.

I'll blog later today to see how everybody is doing. For me, today is a good day, talk later.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Sad Day

Marilyn Manson did a song with Lady Gaga. I now have officially lost all hope in goth.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Hangovers Are Still A Bitch

I got drunk on my birthday on Friday. I did it to celebrate not drinking. Being that it was my birthday the temptation was everywhere. The hangover sucked though. The alcohol was like a one night stand ex that you woke up next to that morning regretting what you just did. But it was worth it. Now I'm alcohol free. I'll confess the drinking at my meeting. I don't feel the urge to drink now. Anyway the puking made me lose the taste for a lot of things right now. I just kept telling myself just one drink, and then just one more drink, and here I am. Oh well, I lasted longer than I expected. No more big events this year that may tempt to drink until New Years. By then I think I'll be fully recovered.

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Theirs Only 2 Days Left!!!!!!!

Another birthyear for the bastard that he's still on this earth. Here's to another shittastic year!

Saturday, July 04, 2009

Its J4

Is it ok to drink while you're a recovering alcoholic if you drink in moderation? I can't have fun tonight seeing everybody drinking except me. Everybody picked me to be the designated driver. I never thought I'd see the day that I would be the dd? What hell am I in? I'll put roofies in all their drinks and see how much fun they'll have tomorrow. But I'm not mad. This will be the ultimate test. So far this withdrawal is not as bad. I lost the urge to kill myself, it just moved to my friends. And all this money saved is practically making me a millionaire. You never know how much of an alcoholic you are until you realize how much money you save. Well gotta go and be sober free!

Friday, June 26, 2009

Just Wondering

Me and my friends are thinking. Michael Jackson was I think $400 million in debt, faked his death to escape is creditors. I'm sure he could afford the secrecy all the way down to the hospital. Just wondering, still can't believe it.

In other news, I'll get to updating whats going on later.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Wow

This is one of those "Where were you" moments. I was at work. I got a text message and I ignored it. Then everybody started calling me. Its just some people you expect to live forever. June 25, 2009 will be a day we will all remember. Still, wow. I can't believe it. I wasn't the biggest Michael Jackson fan, but you have to respect all that he did over the years. I give him much respect. Rest in peace Michael Jackson.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

don't know what you got til its gone

feeling down and out and I really need a drink. it hurts so bad to be sober and depressed. thats what i needed to forget the bad thoughts. im tired of being a failure. a worthless waste of space. is this what life is supposed to be like? pain and suffering. i watched the bridge today. i seem to watch that on my bad days. the guy you see from beginning to the end is instilled in my mind. it was like he was just contemplating if he should do it or not. pacing back and forth. if you seen the movie then you know what he decided to do. i have to say, i have no will power. i bought some alcohol last week and one of my friends must've taken it, the bastard. i bought the liquor but decided not to sip it. so it just stood in my fridge cold and lonely and waiting for some companionship. whoever took my alcohol, fuck you, and thank you for taking it. you owe me $15 bucks.

days are cloudy and turbulent weeks are ahead. im out.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Why?

I met an old friend a few days ago that I haven't seen since she dropped out of high school. Yeah, cream of the crop. She was a butterface back then, but NOW, WOW! She's sooooo freakin' hot now and with a GED! As soon as I saw her I wanted to bang......um see her. We talked and exchanged numbers. But Im in a relationship, still, with the same girl I've been dating for awhile.

Last night I told my girlfriend that I have feelings for another girl because I like to keep her in the loop of things, and because she found her phone number in my pocket so I had to tell her anyways. Jeez, is it so wrong to have another girls phone number without jumping to conclusions? I haven't seen her in awhile and I wanna catch up. Why should I have to explain every single thing I do?

She wants to go with me to meet her on Friday. I'll be glad to take her with me, in theory. She's probably going to do something to fuck it up. Or it may turn out pretty good. Or maybe she'll turn bisexual and I'll be in a threesome. Or maybe I'll just smoke some pot. So if she wants to cause a scene, Im gonna make it worth it. I can be all sorts of crazy. Life was so much better when I was drunk and couldn't remember it.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Happy D-Day JB

R.I.P.

Haunting in death as in you were in life.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Kicking & Screaming

It's official, I'm an alcoholic. I had a little too much alcohol one night last month and sort of passed out in a bad way and ended up going to the hospital. Apparently I had a mix of pills and alcohol in my system and it didn't react well. When my parents found out what happened, they weren't too happy and immediately came here. They were floored when they heard I had to get my stomach pumped. They didn't know it was that bad, hell, I never new it was that bad. When I finally got out of the hospital, my family was waiting for me and took me back to my apartment. All my friends were waiting at my door. I knew what was next. After denying I have a problem and cursing from everybody, I eventually gave in. But I knew at some point somebody was going to step in. My mom had a look in her eyes that I haven't seen in a long time so I knew this was hurting her.

So now I'm in a support group, yet again. So far, I'm about 4 weeks sober, woo hoo! And it's fucking hell. Quitting alcohol is a cold hard bitch. It's a lot harder than it looks. I have the shakes. The first day of AA was hard, but I did admit I have a problem, so we'll see how it goes. Almost ready for step 2!

I think I'm on the right track now, finally. But it's barely been a few weeks so I hope I stay focused. My friday nights have really sucked since I started AA. What else is their in life without alcohol. It's like I need something to hold in my right hand to compensate for it. What can my right hand hold to relieve the stress of everyday life? I guess I have to pace back and forth on this.

But in all seriousness, my meds are a work in progress. I'm learning to focus my anger and depression away from the meds and the alcohol into something more productive and less dangerous, so I picked up boxing. Kind of like a natural medicine. A person I met at AA told me that's what he does when he gets the urge. So far it's a great way to vent. I have another thing to vent about. Some of my friends told my parents how bad some of my days have been which really pissed me off, at first. I kind of distanced myself from some of them for now until I cool down, but I know they did it to help me. So I'm not mad at them personally, just how it happened, which they know that and they understand. I'm just not ready to forget.

Geez, I gotta leave on a good note. I'll get back to you on that

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Ticket #2

I got a speeding ticket today. Just add it to the other ticket I have to fight in court. Maybe they'll give me a deal now. Get 1 ticket, get 1 free. This prepaid legal is starting to get expensive now. But I have to think about how much it would cost me without it. Or I could just stop getting into trouble, or drive faster. But why should I get a ticket for speeding when everybody else is speeding too? I remember one time I was speeding (surprised?)and I just saw a cop around the corner & I saw he had his radar gun pointing right at me so I took the exit and went into a side road. By the time he got to the road, I was gone. Ah, running from the cops, sweeeeeet. But they should really up the speed limit like 20 mph. I cruise @ 80 mph.

Monday, April 06, 2009

Sideburns

A few years ago I was trimming my sideburns but one side was shorter than the other so I trimmed it but I kept messing up so I trimmed again until eventually I didn't have anymore. I couldn't go a few days looking like that so I went to get a haircut instead, but then when I looked in the mirror it still didn't look right. So I asked the barber to cut shorter and even looked worse than before so I just told him to shave it all off. Big mistake. I looked like I just got out of chemo. So it was hats and sunglasses for a little over week until my hair started growing back.

Friday, April 03, 2009

*sigh* April Fools

I really wasn't feeling it this year. Am I growing out of pranks? My friends expected the worst from me this April Fools but I just wasn't feeling it. Actually, I wasn't feeling it on April Fools day. The point of April Fools is to trick the person but when the person least expects it, that's why you have to get them after it's over so they never expect it. And that's what I did! After April Fools.

A few scary text messages and some blood capsules and a bloody knife was more than enough to scare the shit out of my friends. But really, what I have a mood swing that severe that quick out of nowhere? It was classic. I put the ass in asshole. But would you expect any less?

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Banned From McDonald's

Why in the fuck would you take a list of like 20 orders to a drive thru and hold up the damn line then fucking pull into the damn parking lot and eat. Couldn't you get your freakin' big mac ass out of the rent-a-van and go inside and order the damn food instead? And he had the nerve to complain about the $1 tea. I wanted to throw a brick at his van so bad. Why didn't the employee just tell the guy to pull up so everybody else can get their orders? Why did I have to look like the asshole honking the horn for him to get the hell out of the way?

And this isn't the last time McDonald's fucked me over. They kept on screwing up my order. I asked for no mayo and lettuce. Then I get my order and it's covered in mayo and lettuce. Normally I hate people like me but if I ask for no mayo & lettuce I really mean it because they freakin soak it. They did it two times back to back. My friends tend to not go with me on fast food runs. I seem to bring the worst out of me. Why should I have to scrape the mayo with the lettuce everytime I get an order, NO MORE! I want a happy meal damn it!

Update: The guy might've been handicapped, oops. But in my defense, he had teenagers in the van that all came out at the order window and went inside so couldn't they get the food while he parked? I don't know, I still stand by my honking.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Say It Ain't So Vince!

Vince the Shamwow guy was arrested for punching a hooker! Here's the story:

ShamWow pitchman Vince Shlomi was arrested on felony battery charges in Miami last month following a violent encounter with a hooker, according to The Smoking Gun:

Shlomi told cops he paid [Sasha] Harris about $1000 in cash after she "propositioned him for straight sex." Shlomi said that when he kissed Harris, she suddenly "bit his tongue and would not let go." Shlomi then punched Harris several times until she released his tongue. The affidavit...notes that during the 4 AM fight Harris sustained facial fractures and lacerations all over her face.... After freeing his tongue, a bleeding Shlomi ran to the [hotel] lobby, where security summoned cops. Harris refused to cooperate with officers, who recovered $930 from her purse.


I guess she didn't like his nuts.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

The Haunting in Connecticut

The movie kicked ass! I like it so much I wanna take it behind a school and get it pregnant and not call it for days and come back 18 years later and enjoy the sequel.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Bored

My girlfriend lost her cellphone but I found it but she doesn't know it yet. I never liked the ringtone she had for me so I changed it to Ms. New Booty from Bubba Sparxxx and hid it deep in her purse. I turned the ringer up to full blast and I'll call her once she's at work in a few hours from now. Let it be my prelude to April Fools. Oh, and I added a password and locked the phone.

We're always pulling pranks on each other so she'll laugh, maybe. Plus I needed to get her back for writing "I Swallow" with a sharpie on the back of my neck while I was sleeping. I didn't find out for days. So revenge is sweet.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

O.J.

I like the taste of orange juice. I don't like it with the pulp because I don't like to have to chew my orange juice before I drink it. It also goes great with vodka, but what doesn't? Other than that, I love O.J. The juice that is, not the killer, excuse me, acquitted, but what's the difference, we all know he did it. I heard that the reason why the glove didn't fit was because he didn't take his medicine which made his hand swell. But let's give him the benefit of the doubt.......honestly I can't think of another scenario. I wonder if O.J. likes O.J.? Wouldn't be like cannibalism? They're both named the same thing. Kinda of like a pig eating bacon, you just shouldn't do it. Well that's my 2 cents. Enjoy the juice. Goodnight. But wait, speaking of O.J., wouldn't it be awkward to be in the same room with O.J.? Guess we could talk about football and running from cops. He was one heck of a football player. He was a good runner. Too bad that didn't work out. Too bad the slogan, "whatever happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas", didn't work out either. If I was with O.J., I'd tell him, "Hey, O.J. don't take the gun, you're O.J. that should frighten people enough". But noooooo, he had to take to gun and start hootin' & hollerin' like an old man having a walking seizure. Well, goodnight. Taste the juice. One other thing, I don't really call orange juice O.J., I'm just too lazy to change the title now, goodnight. But one other thing, only I can make a post including orange juice and cannibalism at the same time and make it seem relevant. Ok, really, goodnight this time. No more additions, except this one time I was wearing these white shorts and spilt orange juice on it and it looked liked piss. To this day I always avoid drinking orange juice and wearing white pants at the same time. And on that note, goodnight, really, goodnight.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

I Do Cocaine

Sniffing the powder off the back of a peg legged stripper invigorates the joy that viagra has left me long ago. I wake up feeling nostalgic of the good times of yesteryear when dwarf porn gave me the fix I needed to get through the daily bullshit of fuckery from dumb fucks.

My fingers are broken and all but one will come up. It just so happens to be my middle finger. I call it a disablity, others call me an asshole. Makes jacking off a bitch. People think lesser of me. I guess I shouldn't masturbate in public then. I don't know what disturbs them most, the middle finger, the masturbation, or the masturbation with the middle finger.

I exhale the cigarette smoke and whisper, "what a day, what a mother fucking day".

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Today's A Good Day

I freak out and have a bad day. I think Im more bipolar than depressed. One minute Im drinking coffee, next minute Im slamming somebody's head against the wall, tomato-tamato, just stay the hell away from me. Im a crazy mothafucka! Where in the hell are my chop sticks?

I'll get to posting on everybody's blogs sometime tomorrow.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

.......

I can't sleep. Looking back at my clock it's just after 4 in the morning. I sleep for a few minutes and then wake up and then go back to sleep and wake back up again. You'd be amazed by the thoughts that cross your mind in between half asleep and half awake.

I've been thinking about this for awhile and I was able to focus things a little bit more now that Im awake. So Im writing it all down so I won't forget.

Cause and Effect:

My actions now determine my future. If I knew how my life was going to end up now, I would've changed how I lived my life earlier, but Im stuck now because I know I need to change something but I don't know where to begin. I don't want to come 5 years from now and feel like I should've done this or I should've done that. I have ran every possible scenario in my head on how I should live my future better and I can't find the happy ending. One future I keep going back to is not living much longer. It's like one thing I wished I changed, just one simple small decision I made in the past is causing me so much hell today.

I lost the will to care. Death by my hands is something I don't think about as much thanks to my on again off again meds. I just feel funny mentally lately. Have you ever felt so hopeless and the thought to end it all is just something you lost interest in doing? I guess I lost the will to live and die.

Somedays I feel so weak and just one step away from having a breakdown. It hurts more putting on a front of happiness then just dealing with the depression in public. Im tired of acting happy when Im really not, but then when I just can't keep that happy streak going people start worrying and I don't like to be cared for in that way. It makes me feel more isolated like the lone survivor in the middle of nowhere. I feel like I just want to hit the reset switch and everything will return back to normal, but it's broken.

Note for everybody out there, if you know somebody is depressed, watch them very closely.

It's effecting my work and my social life now. Drinking seems like the only way to get my mind off of it. The worst days are when I drink myself to sleep. Some mornings I wake up shaking for no apparent reason.

I just keep saying to myself that this can't happen forever, can it?

Im glad to get that off my chest, Im going back to sleep now.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Damn It!

April is going to be a happy month even if I have to staple my smiles!

Friday, March 13, 2009

1Friday3

Depression fucking sucks! These pills Im taking make me drowsy and weak, but in good spirits somewhat. Not taking them makes me weak and depressed. I think I'll just stop taking the meds and take my chances on hoping for a good day.

But it's Friday the 13th so I had to say something about that. Im drinking more, or rather I never stopped drinking but Im drinking earlier like 6 in the morning instead 7 in the morning. Im having a drinking game at my place tonight. Its a little game I made thats a mixture of beer pong, spin the bottle and strip poker. But first we're watching The First House on the Left tonight.

So enjoy the 13th. Go and run towards black cats under ladders while throwing salt at people to make your day extra lucky.

Friday, March 06, 2009

Sunday, March 01, 2009

I Am Sofa King We Todd Ed

I need some glasses. I need it because it'll make me look smarter than I really am. I'll be getting all the play. Wait until I upgrade to bifocals, girls will be throwing all their bras and panties at me. I'll be zexy. It's how smart people say sexy. I'll be zexy and chillin with my Zima and bifocals.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Prepaid Legal

Prepaid legal is the shit! Im sure it won't be my last offense.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

The Holidays

  1. Easter: A rabid talking rabbit lures kids with easter eggs to a hidden place
  2. Christmas: A prowler breaks into your home and eats your food
  3. New Years: A baby is the poster child for getting drunk

Friday, February 20, 2009

Monday, February 16, 2009

7

I've been tagged by Shel. Im a little too lazy to tag 7 other people so 7 people who read this, do the samething, list 7 things about you.

  1. I love cheeseburgers
  2. I sleep in boxers and a t-shirt. I tried sleeping naked once but felt, uh too naked.
  3. I attempted a stunt from Jackass. ouch.
  4. I'm a boob man.
  5. I faked an STD so that a girl that I hated would break up with me. I had to have her remember me.
  6. Spiders creep me out, but I enjoy the freakiness of them.
  7. The most embarrassing moment of my life was when I on crutches and it was raining that day. When I went into the lunchroom, I slipped and fell but I was using my crutches to try and get a hold of myself. My arms and crutches going back and forth just made things worse and I ended up falling. Students and teachers laughing.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Who Got VD on VD?

What kind of cops have checkpoints on Valentine's Day? It was my friend and his girlfriend and my girlfriend and this guy we gave a ride for exchange for weed. The car reeked of pot and I knew for sure I was so going to jail. Luckily we just started smoking and the guy was the obvious pothead, Im just a closted pothead where Im totally baked but always have that look so its hard to tell. The guy had a pipe with him too. I was shocked and appalled. You think you know hitchhikers. If we all had only made it home, we all would've been smoking crack together. Well they arrested the guy and almost took us all in. Geez, I know Im guilty for the weed, but drugs? I take prescription nowadays YO! He just gave me a ticket. Fucking pigs, I hate them all. We are the hippies and the cops are "the man" trying to bring our high down. Well, guess it's better than going to jail. It's not the summons that pisses me off, it's the checkpoint on V-Day. I've never been stopped at a checkpoint on V-Day. Now if I was stopped tonight and got caught for weed, I'd feel much better.

Oh yeah so back to the story. For VD, I was planning on giving my girlfriend pot as a gift. I know what girls like. But in my defense, she asked for it so I felt obligated to smoke some with her. But the cops confiscated the weed from our friend and ruined VD. So I had to go to the guy whose weed cost more money than everybody else. He blames the economy for the inflation but thats besides the point.

So how was your VD?

Friday, February 13, 2009

I'm Back.....

What a hellish few weeks I had. When a bad day turns into a bad week and then so on. I got really really depressed over the past few weeks. A few attempted slits of the wrist, a few calls to the suicide hotline and a meeting with my sponsor and I'm back to normal. Today is not a great day but it's a better day. I'm just surrounded by so much negativity that it's just bringing me down. I haven't been this bad in awhile. 2009 is starting off with a bang.

Over the past few weeks I thought about a lot of things including the impact my death would have on the people that care for me. I tried to compensate by thinking how my life would be much better if I wasn't in each and every one of their lives. Luckily I came back to my senses. I GOT MEDS!!!!!! Yummy meds. I'm poppin' them like skittles, safely, so far, sometimes.

I had so many things to write about over those weeks but I just lost interest in everything. I wanted to keep you guys updated and that I'm good. I don't know how much longer I'm going to keep writing to this blog. My interest in everything is starting to go away. The way I see things now, I'll probably start blogging less and less until I just won't blog anymore. But I'm still a little depressed so it just might be the depression and the meds talking.

Last weekend, one of my neighbors across the street had a heart attack and died. I never knew him but I always saw him.

But frankly, I'm tired of drowning my problems here, plus it's Friday the 13th. A day of fear for other people tends to put a smile on my face. Plus I have something to smile about, my girlfriend has been with me through this difficult time as well so I'll show her my thanks tomorrow. I know I'm not the easiest person to get along with during my moods.

My next post will definitely be more upbeat whenever I write again. I'll try and get to everybody's blogs eventually. You know what's really ironic, I have my ipod on shuffle and it went to Peter Gabriel's "Don't Give Up". My sponsor gave me a list of songs to motivate me. So I look for Eminem's "Crack A Bottle" to give me some real motivation. That's my shit.

Have a happy 13th and a commerically corrupt day made up by the government called V-Day. Guess you know which movie I'm watching tonight.

Monday, January 19, 2009

I Killed Something Today

My hopes and dreams. I took it out back and put it out of its misery.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Don't Be Hatin'

Time for another flashback. I remember "back in the day" I bought this gold tooth. I was so fucking fly! That was until my gums started bleeding. I think I put it on wrong or it might've been too big, but it was cool to be gangsta for half a day.

In other news, I had a dream last night. I dreamt that my sister killed my entire family except me because she felt unappreciated and I had to give her a reason why I should be spared. I couldn't give her an answer and I eventually woke up. Does it have a hidden meaning? Oh well, perhaps I'll have the ending of that dream tonight, or have that dream about the monkey driving a car which always crack me up.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Payback Is a Bitch

Guess who I met Thursday? Zach! I didn't know him but I knew of him, but he knew me. Instead of kicking his ass for sleeping with my girlfriend, we had a very interesting conversation. After the apology for sleeping with my girlfriend, he informed me that she told him that she was pregnant and she said that she doesn't think it's his. I almost shitted my pants thinking back how long ago was it that I had sex with her. Karma is a real bitch. I haven't done anything sexual with her for about 3-4 months ago ever since I had my suspicions she was cheating. We were having a discussion about a girl's period over a couple of beers. He remembers her having one while they were together last month, so that excludes me I think.

He too had his suspicions that she was cheating. He said he noticed a camera setup in her bedroom so he stole one of the tapes to look at it. He said that he saw her sleeping with two other guys on different occasions, and a girl on another occasion. How unfaithful can you be? Just the thought watching a sex tape of people doing your girlfriend over and over again. I wonder if she was that freaky when we were dating. I just felt like burning my bed and all my sheets and just dousing myself in gasoline. And just imagine all the stuff she didn't tape.

Well sometimes life sucks and sometimes life really sucks, and it really sucks to be him. I said he should get tested. I immediately tested myself once I had my suspicions. She was my lesson. I kept my dick in my pants after that experience. You'll need a grenade to clean her venus sex trap. I still wanna see the tape of her and the other girl, but I didn't think it was the right time to ask.

We'll see how this turns out. I think he wants to stay with her just in case the baby is his. Now if I was in his shoes I would've been like peace bitch, I'm out, I'll support the kid but not you.

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Pissed

I don't get staying in abusive relationships. If somebody hurts you and you're afraid of the person, why stay and be punished? Somebody close to me is in one and she continues to stay and that pisses me off. Their would be no telling what I'd do if I catch him laying a hand on her. I'm so close to leaving right now.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

The Sick Fucking Bastard Is Back!

Oh it feels so fucking good to curse again on this blog. So how can I start the year off Sick Fucking Bastard style.........I got it!

I forgot which sick friend told me this story and I don't remember it all that well. And it's not a question you would bring into a conversation, but I'll tell the story how I remember it. This couple who really enjoyed freaky sex tried something new. So what they did is that they inserted food in her vagina and he would, you know, eat it. Well apparently she got sick and she got infected. She went to the doctor to get it checked out and the doctor found maggots inside her just eating the rotting food. I forgot what happened next but I'm sure they got it cleaned out.

So how was everybody's New Years? I had so many fucking mixed drinks. I need to stop waking up in weird places. Apparently I crashed at this apartment and nobody was there. I checked myself to see if I was missing an organ. I'm still sticking to the fact that I'm not an alcoholic, just a lover of fine wines and liver fuckerupers.