Friday, February 29, 2008

She Doesn't Just Spread Her Legs for Anyone

My ex girlfriend is pregnant. She's the one that keyed my car the first time we dated and the one I wanted to crash her wedding and the one that I dated AGAIN and the one that I broke off with AGAIN. ......

Don't know who the unlucky bastard is but I'm sure she doesn't know either. One of our mutual friends told me the news. I told her to send my wishes and hope that he/she doesn't have his/her mothers looks. She's moody without being pregnant, I can only imagine what she'll be like now.

You know, time after time I've repeated myself that I'm not going to talk about her anymore, but here I am, doing it again. A little part of me does still like her but a big part of me hates her guts and knows that in the end it will always end badly. But I'd still hit it. She was part of the reason for my depression. What a bitch. I send her congrats though!

Now on with Slasher Fridays. We were going to do another of "Life's Lessons" this weekend but I think we will wait until we are fully healed. So we are going to watch Arachnophobia. I fucking hate spiders. Dead bodies and rotting flesh doesn't bother me at all, but spiders just creep me out. I rememeber cringing when I saw the spider crawling out of the woman's ear when I saw the movie years ago.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Brain Damage, hehehehe

I went to the hospital Monday morning. Apparently I had a slight concussion. But no worries, I'd have to have a brain to have brain damage, and I just don't have the heart to tell myself that.

Sunday, February 24, 2008


We've been planning this for awhile and we got up the guts to do it. It's a really dumb thing to do and we just crossed it off the list and will never do it again. One too many injuries occurred this weekend so we decided to scrap it. Truly, doing it would've probably killed one of us but hey, you only live once. Since we aren't going to do it I guess I can tell you a little bit of it. It had to do with a bungee cord and a shopping cart.

So I'm here at home resting getting over my injuries. I did hit the back of my head pretty hard. I don't know if I'm sleepy or just have a concussion. I guess if I don't wake up in the morning then I guess it was a concussion.

Everybody wants to come over my place to watch the Oscars. I don't have any interest in it so the girls are gonna watch it while we get plastered. I'm guessing I should stop taking the aspirin now then. I think I should go to the hospital to make sure I'm ok. I think I'm just sleepy, the headache is making me tired.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Slasher Fridays - Life's Lesson (Take 2)

Ok, since last weekends version of Life's Lesson ended up with a few bruises, we are hoping this weekend it works with less injury. We are prepared better this time. We'll remember to bring the first aid. And we have more people with us this time so it's gotta be fool proof. No way can this fail this time. But all I know is that I won't be first. I'll keep you updated this weekend if we make it, wish us luck.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Helpful Hint

Pedestrians should wear reflectors at night due to the fact that I nearly ran 3 them over tonight. And a little part of me didn't want to stop, call it brake failure.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Update MoFo's!

It's been awhile since I've talked about my neighbors. I still to this day that she is a prostitute but I haven't proved it yet. Still scared shitless of her husband so I'm just keeping by thoughts to myself.

My support group is still going. Our new member kicks ass. He's gonna rock with the bastard and friends on Friday. As for the suicidal thoughts, I had a relapse most of the day today but now I'm feeling a little better.

My girlfriend and I are still together. Nothing new with us. I'm still trying to sneak in some vodka in her drinks just so she remembers what it's like to be buzzed.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Getting Ugly

You know the thing I had plan this weekend to see if it works? Well it didn't work and one of us had a little accident. So that was a Life Lesson that we know not to try again. Well until we try "it" again next weekend. We'll get it right one of these days so when it happens I'll tell you guys what it is. So lets get on with our lives and forget this weekend ever existed! I have to say that it was a funny ride back home.

So that was my weekend.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Slasher Fridays - Life's Lesson

Doing something a little different for Slasher Friday's tonight. I'll keep you guys updated this weekend if it works.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Giving Out Some Goooooood VD!

Somewhere right this second, somebody is waking up in a tub of ice missing their heart. And do you know why? Because it's Valentine's Day!

I'm keeping the blog a little dark this week and next week I'll change it back. V-Day is upon us again. I have a big day set today that's why I'm writing this at about 1 in the morning. Getting ready to celebrate the government made holiday like the other holiday seasons day made by the government to force people to spend money day. I personally hate the gift giving part of VD. Whenever you break up with the person it's like money down the drain. Some of my ex's deserved the gifts plus more but some of you, you know who you are, bitches, you deserved nothing. So with my current girlfriend I have to think of something to get her. We haven't known each other long and I know alcohol is something she really doesn't need being at the meeetings and all. Maybe I'll go simple. Sometimes the smallest thing can mean so much. Hell, I just want the sex and I'll be set for VD, in more ways than one, hehe.

So if I don't get a chance to get to everybody's blog sometime today I wish you all a Happy Government Made Valentine's Day Holiday Like The Other Holiday Seasons Day Made By The Government To Force People To Spend Money Day!

Monday, February 11, 2008

A New Way

Life and accidental deaths involving people are like parellel lines. Millions and millions of lines cross each other but never crash into each other. At times they come really close by a day or minutes and avoids contact. But when those parellel lines collide, death happens. Then you go back to how the parellel lines begin with birth and what caused those lines to crash at that certain moment. Then you kind of wonder what you could've done to lower or raise your parellel line just far enough where it would've never crashed.

Don't you wish you kind of knew when you were going to die? Sort of like knowing your own future. I'd say life would be more fulfilling if that was the case. Or if everybody had an envelope and inside it you would know exactly when you die and how you die. So you'd have that option. If I had the choice I would look in the envelope. Being at peace with my own death would make me treat life happier. I'm just thinking of a lot of things.

We had a new visitor today in our group. The stuff he was saying made us think about a lot. It's hard to explain what he said but it felt like a new way to view life. It kind of made me feel good and bad at the same time. I can't stop thinking about it. It's going to be one of those nights tonight.

Friday, February 08, 2008

Slasher Fridays - This Is Spinal Tap

I know, not a horror movie but it's still cool.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Cover My Weiner In Ketchup......

.....and I'll cover you in......

I always wanted to know what was in a hotdog. Of course we all heard about the left over guts and waste and cig butts they find on the factory floor is what is they are made of. So with some research and some barfing, I came up with the findings.


I couldn't get details on exactly what kind of meat! I'm sure it would say on the label if cow and horse penises is a hidden ingredient in hotdogs. I'm going to get a job making hotdogs and see for sure exactly what they put in it.

Monday, February 04, 2008


I've given up on the Patriots. Once I saw how that final play was going down I knew it wouldn't work. I blame it all on Tom Brady.

So besides that fuck up, my weekend was pretty fucktastic. BM surprised us all and came down this weekend.

We all had a blast. It was fun having the entire gang together for the weekend. I think I cried a little.

On a side note, I had to take a piss really bad today. I held it for about 20 minutes and I thought I was going to explode. But I made it and was so happy. I remember when I was a kid and had to use the bathroom really bad and my brother wouldn't let me in. I fucking shit myself because of him. Now that I disgusted you my job for today is done.

Friday, February 01, 2008

Cheesey Slasher Fridays - MORTAL KOMBAT!

If you look really closely at the movie I hear you can see some tits. So that's my goal tonight, to see some mortal kombat titties.

Quick update on what's going on, nothing. My meetings are going great. You get kind of worried when somebody doesn't show up at the meeting. Makes you wonder if they killed themselves, but nobody has done it. One girl in our group is who I think is the most unstable. She seems really edgy and cries alot. But if somebody goes postal and kills us all, it would be Tom. Yeah, he has some issues. Somedays I feel like I'm going to my death when I go to the meetings. **For the people who just so happened to stumble on this post and wonder what the fuck is going on, I've joined a suicide support group.**