Sunday, September 30, 2007

The Bobby Brown

I was talking to my friend on the phone about pot for a half hour. Then we started talking about the nicknames of pot like Doobie, MJ, Tree, Nug and more. But then he called it the Bobby Brown. I never heard of the Bobby Brown. I asked him to put it in a sentence for me.
I was having sex with my ho and she wanted to relax. She asked me what I had and I told her I had some Bobby Brown. She said, what's a Bobby Brown? Yo ho, a Bobby Brown is joint that would fuck you all up! Highly recommended to be fucked.

So I put him on a 3 way call with Chris asking if he knew what a Bobby Brown was. He told me it's when you have a crack stroke. At this point I was just crying. What the fuck is a crack stroke I asked. Apparently a crack stroke is when you do so much crack, you jaw starts dropping made famous by Bobby Brown.

I spent about 2 hours talking about pot and crack and Bobby Brown. And that was my Sunday.


Saturday, September 29, 2007


You won't believe who I met at a party last night. My ex. Not just any ex, the ex that wanted to kill me if I showed up at her now divorced wedding that I was contemplating fucking it up just to show I still care for the longest. She just happened to show up at this party. We were both told not to fuck the party up with our fighting, but we actually got along. I was past the death threats, as was she. I'm still kinda shocked that it went as well as it did. Wow.

If you don't remember, here's the LINK

Funny thing about that last line........

Trust me, this is the last time I'll ever talk about her. Promise.

And here we are today.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Two Fucked Up Stories

One is hilarious and one is disturbing. With Bush it's always disturbing.

"Childrens do learn," Bush tells school kids

Ain't that the truth, ain't it? Aaaah, my spell checker is going fucking bonkers! Thank Lucifer for spell checker or else I'd look dumber than I'd already is.

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Offering a grammar lesson guaranteed to make any English teacher cringe, President George W. Bush told a group of New York school kids on Wednesday: "Childrens do learn."

Bush made his latest grammatical slip-up at a made-for-TV event where he urged Congress to reauthorize the No Child Left Behind Act, the centrepiece of his education policy, as he touted a new national report card on improved test scores.

The event drew New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, Education Secretary Margaret Spellings plus teachers and about 20 fourth and fifth graders from P.S. 76.

During his first presidential campaign, Bush -- who promised to be the "education president" -- once asked: "Is our children learning?"

On Wednesday, Bush seemed to answer his own question with the same kind of grammatical twist.

"As yesterday's positive report card shows, childrens do learn when standards are high and results are measured," he said.

The White House opted to clean up Bush's diction in the official transcript.

Bush is no stranger to verbal gaffes. He often acknowledges he was no more than an average student in school and jokes about his habit of mangling the English language.

Just a day earlier, the White House inadvertently showed how it tries to prevent Bush from making even more slips of the tongue than he already does.

As Bush addressed the U.N. General Assembly on Tuesday, a marked-up draft of his speech briefly popped up on the U.N. Web site, complete with a phonetic pronunciation guide to get him past troublesome names of countries and world leaders.

6 die from brain-eating amoeba in lakes

I'm never jumping in the water again, especially the ones with dead bodies.

PHOENIX - It sounds like science fiction but it's true: A killer amoeba living in lakes enters the body through the nose and attacks the brain where it feeds until you die.

Even though encounters with the microscopic bug are extraordinarily rare, it's killed six boys and young men this year. The spike in cases has health officials concerned, and they are predicting more cases in the future.

"This is definitely something we need to track," said Michael Beach, a specialist in recreational waterborne illnesses for the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

"This is a heat-loving amoeba. As water temperatures go up, it does better," Beach said. "In future decades, as temperatures rise, we'd expect to see more cases."

According to the CDC, the amoeba called Naegleria fowleri (nuh-GLEER-ee-uh FOWL'-erh-eye) killed 23 people in the United States, from 1995 to 2004. This year health officials noticed a spike with six cases — three in Florida, two in Texas and one in Arizona. The CDC knows of only several hundred cases worldwide since its discovery in Australia in the 1960s.

In Arizona, David Evans said nobody knew his son, Aaron, was infected with the amoeba until after the 14-year-old died on Sept. 17. At first, the teen seemed to be suffering from nothing more than a headache.

"We didn't know," Evans said. "And here I am: I come home and I'm burying him."

After doing more tests, doctors said Aaron probably picked up the amoeba a week before while swimming in the balmy shallows of Lake Havasu, a popular man-made lake on the Colorado River between Arizona and California.

Though infections tend to be found in southern states, Naegleria lives almost everywhere in lakes, hot springs, even dirty swimming pools, grazing off algae and bacteria in the sediment.

Beach said people become infected when they wade through shallow water and stir up the bottom. If someone allows water to shoot up the nose — say, by doing a somersault in chest-deep water — the amoeba can latch onto the olfactory nerve.

The amoeba destroys tissue as it makes its way up into the brain, where it continues the damage, "basically feeding on the brain cells," Beach said.

People who are infected tend to complain of a stiff neck, headaches and fevers. In the later stages, they'll show signs of brain damage such as hallucinations and behavioral changes, he said.

Once infected, most people have little chance of survival. Some drugs have stopped the amoeba in lab experiments, but people who have been attacked rarely survive, Beach said.

"Usually, from initial exposure it's fatal within two weeks," he said.

Researchers still have much to learn about Naegleria. They don't know why, for example, children are more likely to be infected, and boys are more often victims than girls.

"Boys tend to have more boisterous activities (in water), but we're not clear," Beach said.

In central Florida, authorities started an amoeba phone hot line advising people to avoid warm, standing water and areas with algae blooms. Texas health officials also have issued warnings.

People "seem to think that everything can be made safe, including any river, any creek, but that's just not the case," said Doug McBride, a spokesman for the Texas Department of State Health Services.

Officials in the town of Lake Havasu City are discussing whether to take action. "Some folks think we should be putting up signs. Some people think we should close the lake," city spokesman Charlie Cassens said.

Beach cautioned that people shouldn't panic about the dangers of the brain-eating bug. Cases are still extremely rare considering the number of people swimming in lakes. The easiest way to prevent infection, Beach said, is to use nose clips when swimming or diving in fresh water.

"You'd have to have water going way up in your nose to begin with" to be infected, he said.

David Evans has tried to learn as much as possible about the amoeba over the past month. But it still doesn't make much sense to him. His family had gone to Lake Havasu countless times. Have people always been in danger? Did city officials know about the amoeba? Can they do anything to kill them off?

Evans lives within eyesight of the lake. Temperatures hover in the triple digits all summer, and like almost everyone else in this desert region, the Evanses look to the lake to cool off.

It was on David Evans' birthday Sept. 8 that he brought Aaron, his other two children, and his parents to Lake Havasu. They ate sandwiches and spent a few hours splashing around.

"For a week, everything was fine," Evans said.

Then Aaron got the headache that wouldn't go away. At the hospital, doctors first suspected meningitis. Aaron was rushed to another hospital in Las Vegas.

"He asked me at one time, 'Can I die from this?'" David Evans said. "We said, 'No, no.'"

On Sept. 17, Aaron stopped breathing as his father held him in his arms.

"He was brain dead," Evans said. Only later did doctors and the CDC determine that the boy had been infected with Naegleria.

"My kids won't ever swim on Lake Havasu again," he said.

Slasher Fridays - Bug

36 Days & 36 Nights Left

I hear this sucks but they tell me I'll see nudity. So that'll be the closest I'll get to it for now. Plus Ashely Judd is a bit hot.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

37 Days & 37 Nights

My childhood home is officially up for sale. I'm a little upset my parents sold the house to live further up the street, but I'm sure they had their reasons.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

38 Days & 38 Nights

Is getting a lap dance considered breaking the rules for the 40 days and 40 nights? I guess as long as she doesn't get nude or touches me. I feel like I'm a plague!

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

39 Days & 39 Nights Left

To remove the temptations, my friend brought his collection of porn mags to break me. I'll probably end up kicking him out within the week.

Monday, September 24, 2007

40 Days & 40 Nights Left

It turns out I never slept with her. I called her this morining and she told me that I was drunk and we were going to have sex but I fell asleep as soon as I hit the bed. She said she didn't take advantage of me, what a shame. I don't know, I think she was lying. She got in bed with me half naked too. I don't know about her but I don't get half naked in a strangers bed. This doesn't count for me because I was intoxicated. Another reason to stay off the alcohol. I'm still on my 40 Days & 40 Nights sex free days until November 2nd.


40 Days & 40 Nights

I had sex with a girl I didn't want to have sex with. I must've been too drunk to remember and I must've slept with her unknowingly. I really need to have control over my sex life. After talks with my friends, I've decided to restrain from all forms of sex for 40 days and 40 nights, kind of like the movie. I do admit that my sex drive has gone up and I need to restrain it, and this would show my dedication to the cause. I did this before and failed miserably within a few days, but now I can and will do it. My friend is even moving in with me for 40 days and 40 nights to make sure I won't get tempted. November 2 is the last day. So this is the list I must go by:

1. No sex
2. No masturbation
3. No crotch grabbing
4. No sex magazines
5. No pornos

It's like 1 in the morning and I can't sleep. If I can't see anymore porn, then I'll come as close to it as I can!

Friday, September 21, 2007

The Return of Slasher Fridays! - Resident Evil

Before we watch the the 3rd one, we are gonna watch the first two. Seen them before but they are cool to watch.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

October 2, 2007 - Metalocalypse

I was watching TV and I just happened to see this scene. I was fucking hooked right away! A little warning, the video is a bit disturbing.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

The Game

I just watched the movie The Game tonight. All I have to say is a simple card would've sufficed! The fucked up things family do to each other. Kind of reminds me of the time my cousin gave me a black eye and nearly set me on fire when we were kids. Last I heard he was in jail, but I'm sure he's out by now. Good times.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Feeling the Buzz

My friends have alerted me about my parents upcoming intervention with me. My parents think that I have a drinking problem and they've been calling people wondering how often I drink. I don't consider myself an alcoholic, which is probably something an alcoholic would say. I know my limits, until I can't remember how many I've already dranked. I haven't gotten drunk in the past couple of days. My friends are always with me and they know when I've had enough, I think. I'm more of a casual drinker. Drinking alone makes you drink more. I'm not even a fan of beer. I like the harder stuff.

They call me one time and I was drunk and they think that I'm an alcoholic. It was months ago, I thought they forgot. My parents know I don't like confrontations like these so that's why they want to do it. I admit that I did start drinking underage. When I was still living at home, my parents kind of had a feeling that I was drinking so one time I remember coming into my room a little drunk and when I turned on my lights, my parents were on the bed waiting for me. Scared the shit out of me. My mom smelled my breath and they both left the room. I knew I was busted. Woke up the next morning I was grounded for the entire summer.

But I'm just like everybody else. So here's my question, I think my parents read my blog so I was wondering do you guys think I drink too much?

On a side note, that picture looks mighty tasty. Hope it doesn't interfere with your decision.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Prince Albert

Reading kimmyk's post about a tattoo, I responded by always wanting a Prince Albert. I've done some research that's kind of funny. In some cases, you might actually piss out a second hole, but I read further and it told me how to fix it:

It can often be mitigated by either twisting the penis so that the hole is above the flow from gravity, or by holding the finger or captive bead against the hole, effectively sealing it off.
Only on this blog. My parents would be so proud. I would show a picture of Prince Albert but I'm kind of against putting a giant dick on my blog, unless it's my own, hehehe. Well I gotta go gouge my eyes out now.

Fond Childhood Memories of Horror


The Gas Man

I remember my parents were telling me a story about a trip to my grandparents house. My grandparents are really old fashion. They still have things from the 40's. So I was between 5 and 10 years old when my parents took us to see our grandparents for the weekend. When we knocked on the door, nobody came to the door but the car was still in the driveway. My dad looked through the window and saw them both just laying on the floor. My dad broke down the door and yelled at my mother to call 911. So within minutes, I see my dad cursing and my mother crying and my grandparents on the floor, what a childhood.

It was a gas leak. Who knows how long they were under but they were still moving slightly. They survived to tell the tale. My parents ended up removing all the gas appliances from the house and replacing it with electrical ones. I'm going to visit them over the weekend. Did I mention that my grandpa grows marijuana? Medicinal purposes of course. I feel a little sick too so I might need a prescription.

Friday, September 07, 2007

ITS FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!

WOO HOO!!!!!

Thursday, September 06, 2007

The Morning After Yesterday

So this is what happened last night. So I pick her up and take her to the restaurant. You learn to break up with strange girls in public places. Gives them less of a chance for them to stab you. We're sitting down and she tells me all the things she's gonna do to me. I was biting my tongue so hard and I just spit it out before I back out. I told her it was over and she slapped me, and told me her boyfriend was going to kick my ass. I had to laugh because she was the one cheating on him, but what do I know? So she stormed out pushing some lady out of her way. She never gave me the chance to explain why I was breaking up with her, but I'm sure she'd hate the reason more.

I wish I could tell you more about what happened but it ended pretty quickly so their isn't much to say. The whole thing lasted less than 5 minutes. I wish I didn't shave before the date because the slap stings. Ok, now I'm done with the skank, I leave the restaurant before I'm even able to order. It would be a little awkward to stay. But I'm still hungry, so I call a couple of my friends and we all go out to this bar and got totally fucked up. And that was my date. Pretty fun. I should break up with girls more often.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

The Morning Before Tomorrow

After many discussions with friends and BM telling me that I should stock up STD medicine, I decided to call it quits with the new girl. Well I plan on actually telling her over dinner tonight, but no sex is going to be involved, I swear. My friends wouldn't like her anyways. The mole on her arm creeps me out. I just can't stop looking at it. I feel like it's going to come to life and devour US ALL! AAAAHHHH!!!!! So I hope she wears a long sleave shirt tonight.

Speaking of my ex, BM decided to surprise us all by coming down during labor day weekend. Good thing I called her before I left to see her. We all had a good time. Unlike me, she's keeping her dating options open. But she wouldn't tell me if she has somebody else now. Plus I really really wouldn't wanna know. So we parted Monday night, just the way I left her......with stuff on her face....

So that's it. Still horny as usual. I need to find a good christian girl to convert me or vice versa. I need to invest in some ice packs is what I really need right now.