Wednesday, January 31, 2007

It's Over

We thought it was for the best that we split for now until things cool down a bit. The cunt master and her bitch husband told BM that they read my blog and felt I wasn't "good enough" for her but I'm not mad, well maybe a little. I wonder how long they've been reading my blog? I'm guessing discussing my sex life about their daughter wasn't what they wanted to hear, fucking pussies, OOPS! I'm not making them read it! So reading my blog and seeing me with their daughter in their home just drove them over the edge. Glad to see that I still have that effect on people.

So I've been constantly thinking about the whole situation and seeing how I can resolve this the best I can. I wish I could afford my bills and BM's bills but that would put me so far into debt. My parents wanted to help but she couldn't accept it. She's like the daughter my parents never had. They think that me dating BM was actually an improvement in my life. The past few days I was just thinking about going to their house and confronting them. The same thing they can say to my parents they can say to my face about me. But we all know that conversation would've ended not so good.

Since we are apart we aren't gonna kick each other out. We are gonna stay here still "jointly" as roommates for a few more months and see what happens after that.

So this is to the parents of BM:


Well, in other news, I still jog with my new roommate BM. We do it late in the afternoons now (jogging that is just in case the parents are listening). With anger in my heart I feel the power and lust to jog longer. Thanks again. So everybody, no need to worry. I won't "lose it". If I was I would've done it 2 days ago at about 1:48 p.m. behind the glass building waiting for her father to get back from lunch. Kidding! And I'm way over the suicide thing. Pissing off her parents has given me new hope in life. They are practically my parents too! I wonder if they'll invite me over for Thanksgiving this year?

Monday, January 29, 2007


So her parents left out yesterday afternoon from my parents. According to my parents and her parents, they all got along, it was great. Come Sunday they decided to talk about what they thought of me dating their daughter. Funny how they waited until it was their last day to tell them this. They told my parents that I'm not good enough for their daughter and that I am a bad influence on her. Then they started talking about how she never acted this way until she started dating me. What way?! She is acting the exact same way now since the day I first met her. How can they be so straight forward to the parents of the kid dating their daughter in their home? My dad even had to ask them to repeat themselves. My parents thought they were kidding. Then they went on and on about how bad I am and my parents just kicked them out of the house shortly after that so I guess they waited at the airport a few hours early.

Yesterday I was pissed off. I was going to go to their house and demand them give me a reason for what they think is "good enough", but BM just told me to calm down and think about it. Who the fuck do they think they are? They don't even fucking know me. Excuse me if I'm not good enough. Should I change my clothes? My attitude? My religion? Will that make them happy? They are so off my Christmas list this year. They fucking stabbed my parents in the back. How can you spend a weekend at a total stranger's house and tell them that. I know now they are going to try even harder to break us up now. Maybe BM should elope to Mexico with me and not come back until she has 4 kids by me.

BM couldn't get in contact with them yesterday so she's trying today. I really want to hear what they have to say now. I personally hate their guts. I never hated somebody so much as I hate them right now. Just the sound of either one of their voices just fucking pisses me off! I can't ever see them because I know if I do I will hurt somebody. You guys don't know how pissed off I'm getting writing this. I need to get out and calm down.


Saturday, January 27, 2007


A colon f-6 started out as a nonexistent joke turned into a phenomenon. Random typing of the phrase on the internet and you'll get nothing when it was first announced. Now you type it in and you get over 200 videos on youtube and 4,950,000 searches. Started out as a Dane Cook joke about seeing a 10 year old with "A:f6" marked on their chest constantly repeating it over and over again for 10 minutes. Nothing more and nothing less. It eventually grew to a fat guy with knockers doing it. Why am I making this post? I have no fucking idea!

I vomited a little.

Her parents arrived at my parents house yesterday. My parents treated them to the finest restuarant in town and a night out. Her parents called her this morning and told her they had fun. So far so good.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Slasher Fridays - Carrie

Courtesy of - Carrie

Margaret White: [Referring to Carrie's prom gown] Red. I might have known it would be red.
Carrie: It's pink, Mama.
[Presenting corsage]
Carrie: Look what Tommy gave me, Mama. Aren't they beautiful?
Margaret White: I can see your dirty pillows. Everyone will.
Carrie: Breasts, Mama. They're called breasts, and every woman has them.

YSB: I can see your dirty pillows BM, everyone does.
BM: They are dirty because you didn't take the dirty pillows to the washer!
YSB: Yeah, like that was what I was talking about.
BM: You bastard. These dirty pillows were your fun bags last night.
YSB: Dirty pillows to fun bags, I thought they were breast?
BM: You have breast, I have MAMMARIESSSSSS!!!!!!!!

Thank you very much thank you everybody. Perhaps BM wouldn't name her breast mammaries but I guy can dream can't he.

So tonight's pick is Carrie. We're watching the movie a little earlier and going to a party afterwards. Hopefully I'll be drunk all weekend so I won't hear what's happening back home.

I was thinking of getting a prom dress and some pig blood from Wal-Mart or somewhere to throw on BM's friend, but I wouldn't feel like explaining why I bought a dress and pigs blood. That would be a fucked up story, but I wonder if Wal-Mart actually sells that, hmmmmm.

I would so fucking rock if I had those powers! Uh oh, you stepped on my foot, I'm going to set you on fire. I'd used my telekinesis to open beer bottles or to even turn a page of a Playboy magazine when my hands are.....busy.

Thursday, January 25, 2007


He wants to keep this between his friends so I won't post it on the blog.

Don't Eat The Squirrels in Jersey

For they could be contaminated with lead.


Toxic squirrels in New Jersey, what will happen next?


Greg is the man. Greg is the coolest guy I know. Greg disappeared last year and nobody could contact him. Greg just posted on my blog this morning.

For Greg to just disappear like that was really unlike him. We didn't really know his family so we didn't know who to contact. He didn't respond to e-mails or mail. All we knew was that he lived in Florida. His phone was disconnected and his job told us that he had to take some time off. Good to see he's still alive but WHAT THE FUCK HAPPEN! I e-mailed him today so I'm just waiting for a reply.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Too Damn Cold

It's too cold. I can't do this anymore. And yes I know, it's only been three days but I can't jog in the middle of winter for an hour. I like to go out in my shorts and short sleeve and jog. But I can't because BM is gonna win the bet. I have to make it to at least Monday of next week. Then I can go back to the wonderful world of sleeping, my bed has missed me.

I just got word that BM's parents are going to spend the weekend at my parents house. Why! All I expected was one night, that's it. My parents are going to pick them up at the airport Friday morning and they are going to leave out Sunday afternoon. This is terrible news. Her strict christian like parents are spending a weekend with my hippie care free parents for an entire weekend. Who is gonna to convert who? I hope they don't go in my room. I kinda left it during my depressed days so everything deals with death. They are going to show baby pictures of me and tell embarrassing stories of my childhood. It's gonna be like junior high all over again. But I won't worry, her parents already hate me behind my back anyways.


I gotta soak my body in acid.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Day Deux!

I got up at 6. Jogged until a little after 7. Got back home and took a shower. Ate breakfast and got ready for class and was out the door by 8. Damn I'm good. All I needed was a day. In your face BM, in your face!

Monday, January 22, 2007

Yo Adrian, I Did It!

She fucking remembered! I was hoping she was really kidding. She tried waking me up at 5:30 am but I wasn't going for that. I agreed that I would get up at 6. So I rolled out of bed at 6. My body was still asleep. I took a cold shower to wake me up but I just fell asleep in the shower. You can't really feel a thing once hypothermia sets in. So I just decided to get the damn thing over with. It was hell! We ended up leaving about 6:30. I was angry. Me angry is not a pretty site.

Within 10 minutes of jogging, I nearly fell down because of a cramp in my leg. Guess I should've warmed up with her first. Having the other joggers laughing at me was uncool. I knew I should've just stayed in bed. We met this other couple that was jogging. They had to be approaching 200 years old each. I'm surprised their legs didn't shatter when they ran. Then they tried to give me advice for running better and telling me that I have bad posture and technique. It's jogging! What technique do you need? So I told Abe Lincoln and his wife that its fucking 6 in the morning, leave me the hell alone. I'm assuming they won't be our jogging buddies next time.

Once I got the hang of it "again", I started to cheer up. I felt like Rocky running up the steps. I kept calling BM, Adrian. I became Rocky. I begin to talk like Rocky. I was Rocky. I felt so energized. I was jogging backwards. I was jogging sideways. I was jogging! After awhile, it got to me. I felt those cigarettes I smoked in the past. I couldn't stop coughing. I felt like I was dying. I tried to hitch a ride back home but BM told me to quit acting like a baby. So I continued jogging. And jogged and jogged and wondered where in the hell we were going? I told BM that she can't expect me to jog all the way back? I asked her if I could jump on her back and she could give me a piggyback ride home. And she said yes! But I couldn't do it to her.

So we speed walked back home. We didn't get back until after 8! What the fuck man. A few months of not that much exercise really fucks your body up. My legs feel like somebody's been beating them with hard leather whips. I wish I can cut my own legs off. RIGHT NOW! GIVE ME A SAW! BM's been laughing at me all day. And I am expected to do this every morning? Fuck that shit. We'll see how that goes tomorrow morning. You know, I think I will do it tomorrow morning. Just to prove to her that it was just a bad day. And I hope to meet the old decrepit couple again and take their shitty rude advice. I am not a quitter! I will do this. I will fucking do this every morning until my legs are gone. Nothing is gonna stop me from jogging, hell, I'll run. I'll go for 10 miles up and 10 miles down while smoking a cigarette. I will do this YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! But then again, uh, I don't think so. We'll see tomorrow.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Why Me?

BM wants me to start jogging with her every morning. She wants to get up at 5:30 every morning and every day starting tomorrow. I laughed and told her she must be joking. I just start dreaming around 7 am so about 3 in the afternoon I should be all set. I have to put up a good fight to say no for every fight. Sometimes I actually write it out in advance to put good points in so that I can say "Ha! Didn't think of that did ya?!" But she gets me most of the time because I give up easily. I think she broke me within seconds because I just wanted to watch TV and she told me my ass was getting fatter. I gasped and threw away the popcorn. I always get a little bigger during the winter since I don't exercise as much, with a tear in my left eye. After I threw away the popcorn I called Papa John's to order a pizza. Plus I plan on starting my cocaine diet next week so I'll be back to my old sickly self again.

So the results of that argument is me getting up at 6 in the morning to jog, but I won't be happy! Wow, I won a half hour. I'm already out of breath thinking about it. I give myself a week before I give up. I'm hibernating BM. Wait until late February and I'll be jogging again. I wonder how long she expects me to jog? I'm no freaking marathon runner. These legs were made for doing nothing. And it's still winter! And I'm not bitchin'. This is my lazy season. Maybe I'll break my leg tomorrow. That'll give me a couple of weeks. I just need to break my leg every 2 weeks and I'll be oooooooook.

I thought this picture was funny since I WAS watching Invincible.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Rebel Child of the 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s

I love all kinds of music. I was just wondering what I'd be doing if I was growing up a teenager in each decade.

If I was a teenager in the 60s, I'd be a true Janis Joplin, The Who and The Doors fan. I'd keep my hair long and wavy. I'd hate everything about the government. I would runaway from home every night just to be free. Walking down the street humming "Break on Through to the other side" wearing my unpatriotic bandanna smoking some weed and hanging out until the day I die. That would be the life and death of me. Dying young and happy.

Ah, the 70s. I could see myself fitting in with the glam rock scene. I'd be the toughest son of a bitch out there. I'd keep my hair crazy. The government will still be my oppressor. The Vietnam War will end. I'd still be everywhere protesting everything because I hate everything. I would be not giving a damn humming Baba O'Riley screaming "Teenage Wasteland"! Nothing makes me happy. My music will be my way out. I would zone everything out and go into my own world. I would come out every once in awhile to play in my KISS cover band. I would want to die old and still rocking.

Welcome to the Jungle baby! You're gonna die! I would love this decade! The 80s would be one of the best years to be a teenager. Axl Rose would be my idol. I'd grow my hair long and be the pissed off angry guy everybody likes. As for the government, I wouldn't even care if it existed. I would have more important things to do, like myself. The only important thing in my life would be my music and nobody else. I would always be the follower. I would fall in the class of people that did drugs like the rockers. I would dropped out of high school trying to reach a dream I know in my heart would never happen. I would die young in an alley wondering where my life went wrong. I wouldn't be happy in my last years.

This is my decade. Growing up a teenager in the 90s. What a decade. Life for me in this decade as a teenager was hard. I kept my hair really short or really long but I usually just wore a hat. I was always to myself. The government sucked. I didn't care about anything. My early years as a teenager dealt with the darkest times of my life. I found relief, as usual, in music. Nirvana and Jeff Buckley were who I listened to. Of course both lead members died at a young age. One of them was suicide and the other was drowning, great hope for me.

Then I heard of Marilyn Manson. Really wrong direction for me to go in my state.

To be honest with you, when I first heard of Marilyn Manson, I thought I would never listen to such filth. Today I have all his Cd's. Go figure. What's weird about it, is that Marilyn Manson kind of made me who I am today, which is the total opposite of what he is.

So today, I just love music of every decade 60s-current. When I'm feeling unhappy, I put in something from the 90s. When I feeling happy, I put in something from the 70s. When I'm angry, I put in something from the 80s. When I'm a little stoned, I put in Janis.

Nowadays, the main artists I listen to now is Marilyn Manson and Incubus. What a helluva a combination.

I like the darkest kind of goth metal to the most light hearted rock groups from Death to Green Day.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Slasher Fridays - What Lies Beneath

Somebody did something bad and now weird shit starts happening. This is a good movie to watch when it's a gloomy day, it kind of sets the mood. Even cooler to watch it at night. Good suspence thriller. And then the ending......creepy. That's why if I cheat, I'd move out of state to start new. Away from all bodies of water and bathtubs.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007


Her stink brings all the flys in the yard, and their like, its better than yours, damn right it's better than yours, I could teach you but I have to charge.

This has been going on in my mind for awhile now. This is not a crack at any woman. Growing up as a kid I never could imagine girls, you know farting. I've never really expected it. I thought that somehow they would hold in for later. And when it did happen, it would all be lemons and flowers with rainbows smelling like a new car.

Nevermind my mother. So clean and innocent, I could never imagine her ripping a hard loud wet one. It would be fucking hilarious though but I couldn't see it. My girlfriends of the past kept their "habits" private. We are all people here. I'm sure you stink just as bad as I do, no need to be ashamed. None of them never did #2 anywhere near me. Except this one time I can't really disgust right now because I just ate.

Me on the other hand, I'd rip one in a heartbeat. I'm not ashamed. The Pope Benedict could pull my finger and I'd rip something wicked. We'll both laugh and I'd probably be taken away in handcuffs. So ladies, don't be ashamed. I know that it doesn't smell like fresh baked cookies anymore. I guess it's society. If you have 3 people in an elevator, 1 guy and 2 girls and somebody farts. All the girls would look at the guy and blame it on him. 99.9% of the time they are right, but .1% of the time it's the woman. So next time your in public. Shout really loud and fart. It'll make you feel much better.

And that was my educated post of the week. Stay tuned for next week when I discuss ketchup.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Baby Did A Bad Bad Thing

I smoked a pack of cigarettes again today. This picture will be my reminder of never smoking again.

I just feel the urge of lighting one up when I have a lot going on and then like clockwork, I see somebody sitting back and relaxing smoking a cigarette. Then I just say one cigarette wouldn't be so bad. So I buy a pack and feel guilty for buying it and then I feel guilty for wasting a pack and I feel to selfish to just give it away. So I smoke the whole pack like I'm trying to smoke away my sins. It was some good sins.

As of today, again, no more cigarettes! I have to figure something else to put in my mouth, shut up BM. The patch doesn't work. The gum taste like shit. Groups of nonsmokers bore me. Groups of smokers are much livelier. Pictures of diseased cancer lungs definitely move me. That's why this post will be my reminder every time I feel the need for another cancer stick.

I'm writing this to myself.

Don't smoke You Sick Fucking Bastard. It will kill you. Do you want to cough up blood and shit? I'll admit, smoking does have it's advantages, but know that the real downside is dying. And I'm no scientist but I believe that sucks to some people. So put the cigarette down and get a lollipop, cherry flavored.

My lungs will thank me later.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Her Unshaven Bush

Before and After

Well what's been going on last week with us? Well besides the whole Friday incident, nothing much.

Beyond Me:

She took some pictures today to put around here and everywhere. It's a little frightening. She's gonna hate this picture. I thought this picture was funny being that it's a small bush/plant seemingly growing out her. I don't know, guess you have to be here to laugh at it. I nicknamed the plant "BM's Bush".


I'm just thinking she just has a lot of friends. I don't think the wife is a whore anymore. What a damn shame. But I still think the husband is still a serial killer. Nobody can be that mean and claim they haven't killed a few people and baby seals.


The meeting of two worlds (her parents and my parents) will take place next week on Friday. Now that's what I call a Slasher Friday!


They are still bastards in training.


I'm 100% better. No more cold! Now I can jump in the ice naked again!....or push somebody into the ice. That's about it. Yo yo, peace out my homies.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Death Defying

Me and BM went to the gas station to pick up some beer and snacks for the movie. We were getting ready to make a turn when there was a bad car accident. Apparently one car was trying to beat the light and the other car was turning into the same road. We were on the other side of it. When we looked back, we saw both cars facing the same way and smoking and a body in the middle of the road. We kept going and pulled around to see if the person was ok. All you could see were people running to the person. BM just started freaking out saying that it could've been us. We couldn't see much of the person because we could never see the other half. I didn't want BM to see it if it is what I was thinking it could've been. When the police got there and the crowd moved away, you could see that the person is still there. From the looks of it, they could move their legs but nothing else so we have no clue what will happen. If we decided to take that road back home then it definitely could've been us. One of the cars was a jeep so I'm guessing when the car hit the jeep, the person flew out the car and landed a few feet away.

BM is in the bathroom and not talking to anybody. She told me she's never seen somebody that close to death in front of her. She's calming down a bit more so I think she's ready to go back with us.

Slasher Fridays - Nightmare On Elm Street

Freddy Krueger terrified me as a child. Those fingers, that face, that laugh! I was always afraid to go to sleep.

Monday, January 08, 2007

I Can't Take It Anymore!

Here's the headlines:

U.S. targeted al Qaeda suspects in Somalia: reports

I'm not as into the politics as my buddy Firestarter is, but come on! Every fucking day you here something about Iraq or the Al Qaeda.

I'm sick of the news period. Who the fuck cares about Britney Spears and Paris Hilton showing their cooch in public, today that is. And the big news of some idiot trying to blackmail Oprah. What the fuck man? Did you actually think it was going to work? And a study that says that liquid makes up 22 percent of the American diet. Who the fuck cares! It's fucking liquid! Just give me some prune juice and I'll shit some 22 percent liquid!

Then you have the story of a green pig. Uh, what was the point of making a pig green? Now all you need is the find a green chicken and then your living the Dr. Seuss American dream.

And the Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump feud. So he called you a fat slob and who cares if she called you a degenerate. Now she claims that he's obsessed with her. I'm fucking obsessed with both of them. I have their pictures tattooed on my ass! Both cheeks!

Aaaahhhh, I feel better now. But wait! Cheney went hunting today! Everybody stop and remember the last time he went hunting.....

Einstein Is Dead

Classes start Wednesday therefore my party hat must come off. I wanna get more classes in and maybe some internships before the semester is out. Then before you know it, it'll be spring break and there will be cool cars and hot ladies.

Can't wait!

Sunday, January 07, 2007

The Indoorsman

I'm feeling a little better today. I'm watching Mr. Samuel L "I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane" Jackson in Snakes On A Plane with BM, who has been on the phone forever. So I'm waiting.

I feel a little dizzy today when I stand up so I've been on the couch most of the day. I'm coughing nonstop and my nose is still running and the sneezing isn't too bad.

Chicken soup and Hot Chocolate is all I've been eating and drinking today. I also found out that mixing Vodka with Hot Chocolate kind upsets your stomach when your sick hence my discoloration in the face. I know, I'm an idiot, but I'm the sick bastard, what do you expect?

So Give me another couple of days and I'll be back to my grumpy old self again.

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Ignoring The Doctor

I couldn't stand being home much longer so I had to go back out. I was feeling decent this morning but I guess I was wrong. Now I'm right back to where I was yesterday. It comes in burst. I feel ok for awhile then I start sneezing and my nose starts running and then I'm stuck in bed for a couple of hours. BM told me this morning that I should stay in bed but I told her I'm good. She'll be here any time now to shove the "I told you so" in my face.

Everybody around me is getting sick now. I think I'm the walking plague. Well I'm spending the entire weekend indoors, bummer. I promise I'll stay home now.

Friday, January 05, 2007

Slasher Fridays

no slasher fridays today. getting a little sick. think it might be turning into the flu. i think i might be having the worst of it now so give me a few days and i'll be just a sick fucking bastard and not a sick sick fucking bastard.

Suicidal Pornographic Pot Smoking Pill Popping Asshole Sick Fucking Bastard

Life in a nutshell

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Sucky New Years

This is the New Years Eve party. I convinced BM to be in the pictures this once or I'd send our sex tape to Hustler. BM is the one with the beer as usual, and the blond highlights or lowlights or whatever you girls call them.

New Years sucked! I didn't even get drunk! How fucked up is that. If you're gonna get drunk once a year, it's gotta be New Years Eve. I even remembered the party I didn't want to remember! I wanted to be so drunk that my last memory would be my first day of elementary school. Well there's always Drunk & Naked Tuesdays, Wasted Wednesdays and Disorderly Drunken Conduct Thursdays.

Our parents have decided to visit each other in a couple of weeks. I expect nothing but the worse to come out of it, but have a late Happy Freakin' New Year!