Wednesday, June 28, 2006

My Girlfriend Is In A Coma!

I had one of my fits again last night. She's not really in a coma but she is really pissed off, could go for a coma right now. I don't know what happened. I actually just thought of it. The last time I knocked her out a few times was when she first moved in. I haven't hit her since Jake left a while back and I went into this down mood. I think it's stress that's actually giving me the crazy arms. People will think I'm kicking her ass. I made a sign for to wear saying

This is not the result of a dispute but a result of accidental hits to the face

She refuses to wear it. I feel so awful. I think I need help. I tell her to punch me back if I ever do it again but she's afraid she'll wake a sleeping lion and I'll attack. To be honest with you, she may be right. My brother punched me freely when I did it to him. Thanks again big brother.

I think I'm getting back to normal again. With the whole Jeff Buckley thing and my past and Jake coming back just brought a lot of stress on my mind.

I'm sleeping on the couch until further notice.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

I'm Feeling Fucking Patriotic!

I saw somebody throwing the flag away. I thought, how can somebody throw the American flag away. Nah, I didn't give a fuck. Not saying that I'm not patriotic, no way Jose Lopez. I plan on shooting fireworks out my ass on July 4. Where am I going with this? I have no idea. Let me think here, throwing the flag away and shooting fireworks out my ass. Ok, I remember now. To be honest with you, I love kicking ass. I have a friend overseas that will be coming home really soon. I'm glad that one my friends has the balls to do something about the war in Antartica or somewhere out west? And to think, I am actually sober right now. I need some sleep really really bad.

Ok I'm on the second paragraph.......yep, second. I should take some sleeping pills. I need something to get addicted to this week. Watching Jerry Springer repeats makes me all warm and gooey inside. Today's story, "My Sister is Dating my Brother and sleeping with me at the same time." Don't ya just love TV! Shit can't get any better than that! That's to fucked up to be made up! I think the pills are kicking in. I fell on the keyboard for about 5 minutes. I'm gonna go to sleep now.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Gon' Boinkin'!

We had a mission! We had to gather the "supplies" and meet at 11 pm for a night of wild passionate sex!

My list are the condoms, whip cream, strawberries, chocolate and pizza. And all of this has to be at the same store. I failed, the store didn't have pizza.

She had it simple. Her list are the sex toys and the costumes for role playing. Pretty simple but she's late! I want sexxxxxxx!!!!!! I know she is going to pick the most fucked up scenario for me to do this time around. Last time I got to pick the outfit and she was the confused blonde teacher. I liked it but told me she was going to get me back with the dumbest costume.

The picture above will have to do until she comes back. Goodnight, I have to do....other things. Nevermind she's here!

Friday, June 23, 2006

Can You Spare That Dollar?

This picture really got to me. I laughed at first because he's right and I'm fucked up mentally. When people see a bum, they sometimes just turn their head as if they aren't even there. They are trying to talk to you but you just brush them off. Me personally, I know I do that.

My girlfriend and I clash over this every time we see a homeless person. She's gonna kill me after she reads this. If I'm walking down the street with her and I see a bum, I would purposely cross the street to avoid all eye contact. I'm pretty sure she's already caught on by now, but I'm just untrustworthy when it comes to homeless people.

She always sees a person down on their luck that never wanted to be poor but was dealt a shitty life. What I see is a person that fucked up their life by drugs or booze and pushed everybody out of their life and years later they finally see how fucked up their life is but instead of taking the money and saving it for something good, they buy it booze or cigs.

I do ignore them and I do turn the other way. The last time I gave a homeless guy money he went right inside the store and bought liquor. I was saving that money for pornographic sex cards but I guess the money would have been wasted either way. I'm like fuck it. How do you know they are not gonna spend the money on dumb shit? Now before I even think about giving out money I kind of look them over and see if they look as if they are even trying to be better, then I'd donate something or give some friendly advice.......friendly.

In conclusion, I'm an asshole. But I am very friendly. I do sometimes give some change out to some homeless people. I'm even planning on volunteering around Christmas with my girlfriend this year, and this is a big thing, I never volunteer for anything.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Listen To The Messages Tomorrow

Things are changing on me again. I think it's time for me to find a new path in life. I've been really tired lately. I beginning to hate a lot of things now again. I like my personal life. I hate my job and I hate school. Sounds like the usual blah blah from a guy in his twenties trying to live life. Two people today, total strangers I might add, said that I'm a destined for better things. How can two total strangers that I don't know and they probably don't know each other tell me the same exact thing at different times of the day? They didn't look crazy. They looked like totally normal people that look very intelligent. In summary they said that the life that I'm living now is like a rock I'm trying to push out of my way so that I can move up further. My family and friends have been telling me this for years but it took two strangers today for me to actually agree.

I don't know what the next step in my life is going to be. I've never been so confused over this subject before this. To be honest with you, I'm kind of scared what my next step will be. I have a strong gut feeling that my next step will be the wrong decision.

My past I feel is going to catch up with me. Each day I feel more and more like I'm drifting backwards. I don't want my old life. My old life deals with my dark days and my own attempted death. I don't think I'll go that far this time around but I know it's not going to be good. I think I just need a vacation for one month just so I can get away from everything and focus on my life and my future and which direction I want to take.

One path that I keep thinking about is just dropping everything and ..........forget about it. I'm just kind of down today. Tomorrow will be a better day.

I gotta end on a happy note. My girlfriend bought me a digital camcorder to cheer me up. That's a pretty expensive cheer up. Here's my grin world, ear to ear!

Monday, June 19, 2006


When I went home I found my brother's old Atari. I thought these only existed in museums! I'm pretty sure he wouldn't mind me borrowing it along with all his games and a few of his CDs and whatever I could find worth of any value. He wouldn't mind.......well he'd kill me but I'd return them before he visits again.

I gave up on it 2 mintues later. I can see why people upgraded.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Father Forgive Him

I'm going out of town tomorrow to see my Dad for Father's Day. I'm so tired of driving right now. I wish somebody would carry me wherever I wanted to go. Happy Father's Day to all the Fathers out there. And happy "Damn It's Freezing In Here" T-Shirt sold to every woman in the world.

And Happy Quaker Day to all the Quakers.

Thanks Dad for being with me during my darkest time. Thanks Dad for not telling mom about all the times I could've really dissappointed her. Thanks Dad for remind me about my pet dog when I was a kid. Thanks Dad for buying my first Playboy. Thanks Dad for putting up with me for all these years. I know that I put most of those gray hairs on your head. But after all this, you'd still want to send me to Military School if you had the chance, but you knew that I would never stay there so you always threatnened but never put me there which I'm glad. Thanks Dad and happy Father's Day.

One story of my past with my father is him taking me fishing. I loved fishing as a kid but eventually grew out of it. I remember being on a boat in the middle of a lake in the winter fishing. The lake wasn't frozen completely, just the top of it was little frozen. I had a bite. I was so happy. Whoa did I have a bite. I couldn't pull it up. My dad got up and tried to help me pull it in but he slipped and fell and knocked me overboard, but I held on the that fishing rod. I wasn't going to let the fish get the best of me. I lost the feeling in my fingers and toes right away. My dad got back up and tried to pull me in. He told me to let go of the fishing pole I said "Noooooo, I gotta catch this fish!" I put the fishing pole in between my legs and we both got a laugh out of that. I could see the people on shore wondering what the hell I was doing. But I got back in the boat and tried to pull the fish in while I was freezing to death and shivering. Dad wanted me to go home and dry off but I was so determined to catch this son of a bitch fish! About a minute later I realized I was just hung on a rock or something the whole time but I never told my dad that because he would never let me live it down. So I purposely pulled hard on the line when he wasn't looking and broke it so I could say that the giant fish broke my line. I eventually went home totally pale white from near hypothermia giving my mom a near heart attack. We never caught any fish that day but I came close.....kind of.

Friday, June 16, 2006

Sleep Now In The Fire

I'm so so tired. I don't wanna see the outside for as long as I live. Been listening to Hendrix all day and I feel so good.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Hell Has It's Fury

I'm back. I had so much *bleeping* fun I wish I never *bleeping* stopped! I didn't get arrested at all the entire time. I almost did but never did got arrested.

Jake is quite the ass. He hasn't changed at all. What started as a trip to the gas station to pick up some beer ended up a trip through 4 states. I lost my cellphone in the process and had to call my girlfriend from a bar. Jake was talking to this girl and she had a boyfriend there and he got pretty pissed off at him. So of course once again I had to beat the shit out of some total strangers for him again. I ended with a really sore jaw and a black eye. We lost badly. My tongue was swollen and I could barely talk. If only I could play the message I left on my girlfriend's voicemail.

We ended up getting a motel room and stayed over night. Jake convinced me that since we are already far far away from home we might as well go further and party a little more. We already dranked all the booze we were supposed to get. So we had to do something. So minutes turned into hours and hours turned into days as we got further and further out of town. We went to this town that had to be the creepiest town on earth. It was like a ghost town. Nobody was around. It kind of reminded me of Silent Hill. Somebody eventually came out from behind us when we were in this store. The guy had a glass eye and had a voice box. It creeped Jake the fuck out. He bought some ciguarettes and ran out the store. We ran into this cool midgette that talked really fast. I thought it was the coolest thing ever. I felt like I just smoked something really wicked. It was the most psycadellic experience I've ever felt in awhile. I didn't understand a single word he was saying but I couldn't stop listening. I remember he was drinking Yoo-Hoo and wearing suspenders. I was just waiting for him to say his name was Timmy and for Lassie to run out from under the house nearby to tell us that somebody is stuck in the well. I think the food I ate in that town was off some how. I eventually threw it all up a few hours later and things were cool again.

We went into this Wal-Mart to buy some fireworks, spray paint, and a garden dwarf. The cashier looked at us weird. I realized the combination looked pretty dangerous. Well I guess you can assume what happenend next. But what happened after that was me pulling broken dwarf fragments from his face. Nothing a nights rest wouldn't fix. We eventually went to the hospital and got the rest out. We decided to call it a night.

We decided to drive back home but we couldn't show up without the booze so we stopped by the ABC store to get some considering everybody was expecting it 4 days ago, guess we got a little side tracked. Girlfriend is pissed off at Jake. She had his stuff packed by the door. I guess Jake and I might have to crash at a friend's house to hang out for now on. My girlfriend had "the long talk" about not being home and being friends with an irresponsible person. I'm still a kid and I can't help myself. I haven't seen Jake for a long time so we were just making up for lost times.

If I could do it all again......I'd do it, and I'd do it until I lose an arm.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Push! We Got A Live One! In Other News: Jake is Already In Trouble With The Law

Jake actually called this morning, he got held up at a police checkpoint. Not a good sign. He said they thought they saw "controlled substances" in the car. I guess things haven't changed. Well at least I know my girlfriend will hopefully bail me out of jail on Monday after the things Jake will do this weekend.

It's gonna be a great weekend. When my out of town friends caught wind that Jake was coming down here, everybody wanted to hang out like old times. None of us have ALL been together since graduation. Jake was always missing or he couldn't make it. One postive thing you have when a lot of friends are around is that if the cops are after you, you could always trip them to slow them down while you escape. But I know my friends and they'll do the same thing to me.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Jake: What Nightmares Are Made Of.

Don't we all have that one friend who you hate being around but whenever they are gone you kind of miss the fun times. Well my friend Jake is that person. We can hardly hang out with him because he is always trying to do something, but he always gets a laugh out of us no matter where we go. He could make the saddest person cry laughing.

Things we got in trouble for:

1) Skipping school
2) Food fights
3) Unnecessary fires
4) Smoking a bong in math class
5) Joining the science club only for the use of chemicals
6) Starting a protest on the rights of hookers
7) Trying to flood the school
8) Dressing up as Ghostbusters for Halloween and spraying the girls with water guns
9) Covering the teacher's desk in condom wrappers before she came in
10)Switching the video link for Channel One with a porn video

I really never try to do bad stuff.....often. We did so many things worst than that but I choose to keep my name away from it being that we could get arrested.........

Well he's coming here and I can't wait and I'm worried to death. I haven't seen him in a couple of years. The picture above was a picture of him before Senior Skip Day (story of Senior Skip Day Hell below). I don't know if he's different now or more quiet. I am actually really scared right now as each second pass. Each year in school he would get more and more dangerous. I admit that I'm really crazy sometimes but I got all my crazy ideas from him. Their is no telling what he has planned when he comes here! If I don't blog anything Monday, expect the worst thing possible to happen over the weekend.

Senior Skip Day Hell is a day none of us would ever forget. We all knew he was going to do something. I even decided not to try anything because I knew he was planning on something big and crazy. We were all just thinking it would really suck if he gets killed on Senior Skip Day. So we all picked everybody up and we went to his house to pick Jake up. He wasn't carrying anything, so far so good. We were all silent but I had to ask what he was planning today. He laughed and told us nothing. We didn't wanna go. We were tempted to just stay at the pool all day so we wouldn't have to take anybody to the hospital but he convinced us to go to the place. We had fun and everything was ok. It's been a few hours and still nothing has happened. Now we were headed to the Senior Party which was of course going to take place at Jake's house. We were a little high at the time so we didn't even notice that the party was going to be at his house. We weren't high enough to know where we stopped though. We looked around seeing if their is some kind of trap or setup for us. We went in and everything looked normal. The party eventually got bigger once almost the entire school was at his house. So everything was going super. Then we heard a scream and laughing in one of the bedrooms. Everybody rushed to see what happened and we heard just screaming. We just took a deep breath and made our way up the stairs through the crowd. People were shouting to call the police so we ran faster up the stairs. It was his room. Everybody was looking out the window. Jake was on top of the roof of his neighbor's house naked fucking an inflatable doll, but by the time we got to look up the window he had falling off the roof and was hanging on. People started rushing outside as did we. People tried to pull the mattress from one of the rooms to cushion his fall but their was no way they would get their in time. So we all and a few other people tried to get a ladder from the garage. We eventually got the ladder to him and got him down before the cops and the ambulance got there. Once he got down he split. All that was left was a naked blow up doll stuck on the roof of this elderly couple. Cops and fire trucks and ambulances were every where. My friend Alex decided to stay to see what the cops are trying to do. The rest of us found Jake running across the street behind his house to get in the bushes. I went back to his room to get his clothes and the others tried to get Jake to relax. But he was relaxed. He acted like nothing happened! When I got there everybody was telling me to hurry up so we could drive off because Alex said the cops wanted to make an arrest. So there I was in a jeep with my friends and my crazy naked friend on Senior Skip Day running from the law. I couldn't go to jail before I graduate! We just drove out of town for awhile until everything cooled off. When we got back, we decided to drop Jake back on his street corner so that we could get a headstart if something goes crazy. We knew his parents were going to kill him for it so we said our goodbyes knowing we wouldn't see him for awhile.

He was grounded until graduation since he was planning on leaving home on graduation day. We said our goodbyes and had a small private party with just all of us and most of us parted ways and most of us wouldn't see him again for years.

I talked to him a few times over the years and he sounds a little different. All I know is that he's going to college somewhere. He's taking a break from college to come here to visit for a few days. He supposed to be here tomorrow night but I expect him here Friday night.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

First Day of Scwool

Can you believe I was a shy kid in school. I never talked to anybody. I was the kid who ate paste and sniffed markers while running with scissors. But I never talked. Elementary school was fun. Middle school was the time I was curious about the opposite sex. I also wondered why I was getting hair in places I never had before. I thought I was turning into a monster. I didn't really hit puberty until I got into high school. My voice changed. It got a little deeper. After the goth face was over I turned into the cool guy. I went to all the parties and I knew everybody and everybody knew me. They couldn't get me to stop talking or taking something off. I eventually stopped eating the glue and sniffing the markers and running with scissors a little later in high school. Damn I miss those glue eating days. A few years later in college and I've reverted back to my elementary school days without the glue.

I was the trouble maker and the prankster. I couldn't stop being the center of attention. I loved dares. Dare me to say something, dare me to jump off this building. My parents loved my hospital bills. I remember I had a broken leg and I couldn't move hardly. I was so pissed. I felt like I was on speed. I was trying to do something but I couldn't, so I tried to do it a different way and I couldn't. I kept trying to do things for hours every day but I couldn't. I even started crying because I felt so useless. But once that cast came off I went crazy again when I really shouldn't have and had to put the cast back on. That was the time I thought it was best that I calm my habits a bit. I can't have a broken leg anymore. I'd go pyscho. But I still feel the itch to be a little crazy.

Happy 06 06 06 Day

I bet I'm gonna have the unluckiest day ever. This will be the only day where this date exists. It will never happen again. It's been centuries in the making.

Monday, June 05, 2006

I Hate Marcello

I also hate New Jersey more now.

Friday, June 02, 2006


While I was gone I stopped by at an old friend's place. We get to drinking and we start goofing off. He was cooking ground beef in a pan covered with cheese, bacon, tomatoes, lettuce, onions and bread all mixed in. Basically he was cooking a fucked up cheeseburger. He made me some, and I have to say, it is pretty fucking delicious! So I'm still trying to eat this fucked up burger while he is half passed out and the fire alarm starts going off. He left the stove on and a fire started. So I remembered back in middle school that you never throw water on a grease fire but I never could remember what the hell you put on it then! So I look around the kitchen yelling to my friend here that, "Hey man, your place is on fire!" He laughs and falls to the floor. Just my luck. I visit an old friend and I witness burning his place down. I keep looking around and I open one of the cabinets and I find HOPE! It's a fire extinguisher! It was a fucking TOY FIRE EXTINGUISHER! WHO THE FUCK KEEPS A FAKE FIRE EXTINGUISHER IN THEIR KITCHEN! I couldn't help to laugh at the situation. I eventually remembered that you should put a lid on top of the pan. The fire didn't really do anything. It stayed in the pot and I was just overreacting. I came back an hour later and realized I forgot to turn the stove off. I'm never this careless. Only when I'm around him I become a total dumbass.

I have to go to a wedding with my girlfriend this weekend so we are leaving tonight. I don't wanna go. I don't know these people and they don't know me. I'll try to have fun. I hope the people aren't backwards people. The wedding is probably behind a junkyard and we have to be barefoot. It's in Jersey, what more can you expect?

Thursday, June 01, 2006


Every couple of months you get a new phrase here. The new phrase now is THUNDERPUSSY. A thunderpussy is a woman who has monster orgasms and becomes all demonic when she does it. Cool phrase. I like it.

It's late so I'll post something tomorrow.