Thursday, July 27, 2006

Scared Shitless

What would you do if you are walking with your girlfriend and you run into a bad ex girlfriend? I was scared shitless. I knew my ex was gonna say something or try something. She looked my girlfriend over and called her a whore. I knew today was going to be a great day when I woke up!

After a few words were exchanged I had to break it up before the fist started to fly. So ex girlfriend came out of nowhere by saying that I slept with her this weekend! Fucking bullshit! I was with everybody including my girlfriend and friends the entire weekend. My girlfriend knew she was full of shit. I just let her loose. I never liked her anyways. Too possessive and paranoid. I had to eventually stop the talking back and forth again and just leave.

Why do this?! We are broken up. We haven't even seen each other in about a year and the first thing to come out of her mouth is calling my girlfriend a whore? Shit! Come on! Forget me!

When I broke up with her I destroyed everything she gave me. I actually bought a new bat and destroyed every single thing. It was really satisfying. I felt I was a born again hellion.

Some people you just wish you never met. I don't know what I saw in her. The relationship barely lasted a month. It was hell I tell ya! Questions like, Where are you going? Where have you been? What are you doing? Why are you wearing that? Where?! What?! Why?! every single day! Headaches every day dating her. There was no love in that relationship. Arguing back and forth day after day all night. I'm getting a headache just writing this. Is there a such thing as a nice ex girlfriend anymore?

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Poindexter! HA! HA!

We were talking about growing up and being in school and how soldier boy used to be called Poindexter. Now that he's trained to kill people by the government we forgot all about the nickname........

I had a picture of all of us back in school but I can't find it. Everybody called him Poindexter because he wore glasses and his sinuses made him talk "smart". It didn't help at all that his mom made him wear his pants way up his chest and made him always tuck in his button shirt with the very popular pocket protector. I mean, come on! That's just child abuse! He would always pull his pants back down and untuck his shirt when his mom wasn't around. He even hated wearing the glasses. He would go the whole day somewhat blind just so he wouldn't have to wear the glasses. Then when it was time to go home he would hike his pants back up and put on the glasses to go back home. Everybody else thought it was a joke, but we all knew, sadly we all knew. It wasn't until later when some asshole geek told his mom on him and would always get him in trouble. Nothing a few wedgies and swirlies won't fix. Last I saw nerd boy, he was visiting back home and looked liked a person that could kill you with his mind. I think he works on a boat or something.

Well back tn Poindexter. He never liked the name, go figure. When I was a kid I told my mom on his mother because I thought it was stupid. This guy was really cool and his mom was just ruining his life. My mother laughed at me and said it couldn't be that bad. I invited him over one day just to show her exactly what I was talking about. His mom came by and dropped him off. My mom opened the door and saw him come out of the car. She yelled at me that my friend is here and ran into the other room trying to not laugh as loud. She didn't mean it to be cruel but she thought I was kidding about the whole thing. She came out the room and he said "Hello." And my mom was biting her lip trying not to laugh. She told me she'd try to talk to her.

Eventually he did something with his glasses and his sinuses and went through puberty and got a deep voice in high school. He made a complete turn around. I pretty much haven't changed since the first grade.

Leave it to Jake to always bring back the best memories.

pocket protector HA HA HA HA!

Friday, July 21, 2006

The Infamous Soldier

So here's the guy who's been writing all those letters I've been posting on my blog.






















He's definitely changed. He doesn't laugh as much now. Hence the serious looking picture. But we all got drunk last night except me because I was the fucking D.D. since I had class today. But tonight they'll have to deal with me being the world's meanest drunk!

We had to say no the hookers last night (thanks beyond me) but the strippers had to stay. He loosened up after the strippers. That brought him back to reality.

We are all gonna rent a beach house over the weekend to chill and talk about useless shit we would always do.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

It's Good To Breathe Again

I love my friends but it's always good to have them get the hell out of your home sometimes.

My friend is coming home Thursday. We are all throwing one helluva a party for him. Strippers and prostitutes galore! We are gonna have one helluva a time. Hell, I say hell a lot.






















Well we all can't wait. I bet he has a lot of fucked up stories to tell about what it was like there.

Friday, July 14, 2006

I Understand The Need But.....

Why jerk off in a total strangers bathroom? This is me venting since I'm "forbidden" to fight as much as I used to.

Everybody is planning on spending the resting of the week and weekend here (seemed like a good idea at first). So the place here is really crowded but things are cool, so far. So one of my girlfriend's friend is really pissed off now. She went in to take a shower and she slipped and fell in some "stuff" and didn't realize it until she looked down and saw what she thought was.....and it was. She screamed loud enough for everybody to wake up. Being that it was barely 7 in the morning it took us awhile to get up. We all ran into the bathroom, as she immediately covered up, and saw her scrubbing her hands crying and screaming.

She said, "Who the fuck came all over the bathtub!" None of the guys fessed up. I know it wasn't me. We all kind of sensed who it was. But I'd be damned if I was going to clean up some other guy's jizz all over my fucking bathroom! I knew who the fucktard was and I confronted him and told him to either clean it up or get the shit beat out of ya. He cleaned it and I kicked him out.

My girlfriend threw up a few times. The fucking idiot came all on the bathtub, the floor, the fucking sink, next to my toothbrush! Could you imagine me brushing my teeth before we found out what happened? I was shaking the whole time because I wanted to hit him so so bad. I had to wait next door until he left because I would've done something I might regret later. My girlfriend threw away everything in the bathroom. If she had it her way she would move today.

He's dating one of my girlfriend's friend. They haven't been going out long. I've seen him about five times and each time I see him I hate him more. I'm sorry I told her but he isn't welcomed anywhere near me and if he wants to start something I'd be glad to kick his ass. How can she go out with somebody that's so fucking disrepectful. I'm just having those Bad Mother Fucker Days again. I don't think I'm gonna be able to keep everybody here the entire weekend. I might have to kick everybody out.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

One Morning





















I haven't slept in about three days. I woke up like an hour ago.

I posted my last post Sunday. I was awaken before the sun came up Monday morning because all my friends and my girlfriend were surrounding me already dressed singing happy birthday to me really loud. I told them it was way too fucking early for this so I put the pillow over my head and went back to sleep. Then some asshole grabbed my feet and pulled me out of the bed busting my lip on the floor. I didn't wanna fight anybody that early in the morning so I just went along and got a paper towel for my lip and got dressed still half asleep and went down stairs and got a big surprise that woke me up.

Nah, wasn't a new car......It was actually an old friend of mine. I haven't seen him since "the incident", but I've spoken to him on and off for a few months after. He looked totally different. He actually gained his old weight back and looks like a real person again. But wait, there's more!

We drove for what felt like hours. I lost interest in the surprise within 15 minutes and went back to sleep in the car. It wasn't until we got there until I realized what they were planning.

Three concerts in three days. The first one was a local band called Acid Tears. The second concert was Bleeding Through. And the third one was a group called Cursive on Wednesday. Cursive was the band Tom picked. I never heard of them but they aren't too bad. We got back late last night and all crashed at my place. I'm the only one awake right now. I'm getting tired again. I might post something again tonight.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Eating With Dead People

I was going to take my girlfriend out to dinner last night to a restaurant that we always go to. When we got there we saw an ambulance and a person being taken away in a body bag. The restaurant was still open and I didn't mind going in. I just tried not looking at the dead body. But my girlfriend was saying we can't eat here because a person just died. It's not like the person vomited all over the food and destroyed the restuarant before kicking the bucket, would've been cool but it didn't happen. She said that she can't eat there ever again because it would be too weird.

To ease her thoughts I asked one of the workers why the person died and she told me he choked on the food. When my girlfriend heard that she grabbed my arm and started pulling me towards the exit. I shouted what was the food he choked on. And she said that it was the chicken. I told my girlfriend that the guy choked on the chicken, we were gonna order the steak. Then she gave me this look and we had to leave.

So we went to the shitty restuarant down the street that looked like a thousand people died there before we got there, but she wanted to eat there. The food was shitty and I was shitty the whole night.......food just didn't settle down right in my stomach.

Well I am as good as good today. We're ordering Chinese tonight for dinner and watching Underworld, my pick of course.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

On A Side Note...

July 4th? Celebrate what? I had fun but we all felt that we were missing somebody. I got a letter from my friend last month. I was waiting around this time to post it. He's coming home in a couple of weeks. For a letter that should be a happy one, he made it kind of unsettling.

Well here we are again. I'm writing this letter to keep you updated on my "goings" and wanting to go to the beach. All this sand and no beach! It feels like I'm being tricked. F.Y.I.- Camels do smell like shit in real life. I knew it would smell bad but it's really fucking awful!

Now that I got the humor out of the way, it's time to be serious. This is my last letter I'm sending you guys. I'm not dead and I'm not going to die, not here and not now. You always wonder if you'll be next to die. It feels like peer pressure you can never escape. Will you die today? Will you die tomorrow? Will you make it home alive? Then when you're left dying on the side of the road you wonder what you should've done that day that would've made you live. I should've waited. I should've never went back. I should've walked faster. I should've never talked to them. I should've listened.

You can't trust anybody out here. You don't know if they'll shake your hands in front of you or stab you in the back behind you. Don't get me wrong, most of the people here are great. I don't know how they can stand the heat, but they are mostly great people.

I wish I knew why I am actually here. You come to realize that this is a job, and it's a job you applied for, and a job that you have to be great at doing. I wouldn't take this experience back if I could. I hate it, I hate it with some much passion and anger but I'm glad I did it.

For this will be my last 50:

1. No more sand storms
2. No more restless nights
3. No more nightmares
4. No more racism
5. No more hate
6. No more love
7. No more sorries
8. No more tomorrows
9. No more dry throats
10. No more rashes
11. No more bad days
12. No more late night masturbation
13. No more worries
14. No more lies
15. No more wake ups
16. No more shouting
17. No more crying
18. No more wish you were here's
19. No more hurting
20. No more devils
21. No more sun
22. No more water
23. No more fatigue
24. No more letters
25. No more helping
26. No more praying
27. No more trying
28. No more healing
29. No more feeling
30. No more fighting
31. No more dealing
32. No more games
33. No more rage
34. No more
35. No more
36. No more
37. No more
38. I can't take this anymore
39. I feel like I've lost
40. I feel like I have no soul
41. I feel
42. I feel
43. I feel
44. I feel
45. I feel like nothing
46. I feel like their isn't much left here to do
47. I feel like I am fighting for nothing
48. I feel like I won't be cared for when I come home
49. It's over? Will it ever be over?
50. NO MORE WAR!

It's getting late and I'm really tired right now. Next time you hear these words (glad to be here) will be when I come home. I'm coming home guys! I'm coming home.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

J-U-L-Y-4: 6 Days Until My Special Day

I'm going to this bonfire in the middle of nowhere tonight so if things go crazy or if you see me on the news tomorrow, then know I died happy.



Although I'm not Asian, you get the point.

Monday, July 03, 2006

7 Days













Dare I not be judged! I'll wear a mask and start saving people in my fruit of the looms underwear and my cape! Laugh if you want. I'll be the coolest kid in the world. What would be my name? I choose Batman. I choose Batman because I got hit one too many times in the head with a bat by this creepy man that wanted a piece of my Spicy Chicken Crunch Wrap I got from Taco Bell, hence the Bat and the Man. What the hell am I talking about? Tacos! Can you imagine the Batmobile going through the drive thru of Taco Bell? Wow, you'd think I'm on Ritalin right now.

I'll give you a clue on what is going to happen in 7 days...........



Hopefully the bottles won't be broken. I shudder at the thought.

Sunday, July 02, 2006

8 Days Left!

That's gonna hurt in the morning.






Maybe I should pick up hockey again. Tried it as a kid and hated it. You have to wear so much protection. Wear a helmet so you won't get a concussion. Wear pads so you won't get cut with the blades. Stop pushing. Stop laughing. Don't hit people with the stick. Don't kick people with your shoes. I'd rather just play ice hockey in my shorts and a short sleeve shirt, sure I'll probably end up bleeding to death but you always have one chance to learn a lesson.

8 Days! YIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, July 01, 2006

9 Days Left!



Not another countdown! This is actually a good countdown. It's a countdown to something I can't wait for every year. My girlfriend said she wants in too so she's gonnna do something each day starting on the 5th day. Perhaps cook a decent meal, maybe? Hopefully? Kidding, maybe? I love her cooking, that's why I'm eating at McDonald's.