Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Ticket #2

I got a speeding ticket today. Just add it to the other ticket I have to fight in court. Maybe they'll give me a deal now. Get 1 ticket, get 1 free. This prepaid legal is starting to get expensive now. But I have to think about how much it would cost me without it. Or I could just stop getting into trouble, or drive faster. But why should I get a ticket for speeding when everybody else is speeding too? I remember one time I was speeding (surprised?)and I just saw a cop around the corner & I saw he had his radar gun pointing right at me so I took the exit and went into a side road. By the time he got to the road, I was gone. Ah, running from the cops, sweeeeeet. But they should really up the speed limit like 20 mph. I cruise @ 80 mph.

Monday, April 06, 2009


A few years ago I was trimming my sideburns but one side was shorter than the other so I trimmed it but I kept messing up so I trimmed again until eventually I didn't have anymore. I couldn't go a few days looking like that so I went to get a haircut instead, but then when I looked in the mirror it still didn't look right. So I asked the barber to cut shorter and even looked worse than before so I just told him to shave it all off. Big mistake. I looked like I just got out of chemo. So it was hats and sunglasses for a little over week until my hair started growing back.

Friday, April 03, 2009

*sigh* April Fools

I really wasn't feeling it this year. Am I growing out of pranks? My friends expected the worst from me this April Fools but I just wasn't feeling it. Actually, I wasn't feeling it on April Fools day. The point of April Fools is to trick the person but when the person least expects it, that's why you have to get them after it's over so they never expect it. And that's what I did! After April Fools.

A few scary text messages and some blood capsules and a bloody knife was more than enough to scare the shit out of my friends. But really, what I have a mood swing that severe that quick out of nowhere? It was classic. I put the ass in asshole. But would you expect any less?

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Banned From McDonald's

Why in the fuck would you take a list of like 20 orders to a drive thru and hold up the damn line then fucking pull into the damn parking lot and eat. Couldn't you get your freakin' big mac ass out of the rent-a-van and go inside and order the damn food instead? And he had the nerve to complain about the $1 tea. I wanted to throw a brick at his van so bad. Why didn't the employee just tell the guy to pull up so everybody else can get their orders? Why did I have to look like the asshole honking the horn for him to get the hell out of the way?

And this isn't the last time McDonald's fucked me over. They kept on screwing up my order. I asked for no mayo and lettuce. Then I get my order and it's covered in mayo and lettuce. Normally I hate people like me but if I ask for no mayo & lettuce I really mean it because they freakin soak it. They did it two times back to back. My friends tend to not go with me on fast food runs. I seem to bring the worst out of me. Why should I have to scrape the mayo with the lettuce everytime I get an order, NO MORE! I want a happy meal damn it!

Update: The guy might've been handicapped, oops. But in my defense, he had teenagers in the van that all came out at the order window and went inside so couldn't they get the food while he parked? I don't know, I still stand by my honking.