Monday, May 29, 2006

Remember Jeff Buckley {R.I.P.}

It's been 9 years today - May 29 - since Jeff Buckley died. This post and this day is dedicated to Jeff Buckley. Make today Jeff Buckley Day.



Jeff Buckley died in an accidental drowning on May 29 a little after 9pm. If you know the story just skip to the next paragraph. They said that he called all his friends that he hadn't spoke to in awhile and just talked. He called his ex girlfriend to tell her he'll see her on the other side. When you see him in interviews, you would never think he was planning on passing on. He looked as if he was planning on something bigger. Perhaps death were his bigger plans. In my opinion, he never wanted to die but if that chance came to him, he would not fight it. The fact that nobody will ever know is the saddest thing of all.

During my darkest days and my darkest moods, Jeff Buckley would always relax me. I would slip into my own world and forget all the bad things that were going on in my life. At that moment I was a new person and nobody could ever take that away from me. When he died, a part of me died. I would never be the same again.

My life was already fucked up before he died. It was just his music was the only thing keeping me from falling over the edge. Before his death I started not going to school and I stopped seeing my friends. Sometimes I wouldn't come home for days. My parents eventually gave up on calling the cops on me because they knew I'd just get angrier and shout and everybody or try something worst. I started hanging out with the wrong crowd and started to constantly take pain killers and other pills.

I still remember that day. I was crashing at a house and it was on TV that Jeff Buckley is missing and presumed dead and that the last time they saw him he was near the river. They would find his body days later. I was already on the edge, I just needed something to push me over. I just walked out of the house and just walked for what felt like miles. I had no idea what I was going to do next. He was like the tortured souled older brother I never had. To me, he was the only family I had left in this world. I wasn't thinking straight and my mind was racing. I had just over $50 bucks in my pocket and I knew exactly where I was going to go. I knew this guy that gave out a lot of uppers and downers, so I went to his place and gave him all my money and took whatever I could get. After I took whatever I had, all I could remember after that is walking down the sidewalk feeling really dizzy. I woke up in the hospital days later. I guess somebody actually still cared. I had my stomach pumped. My parents were the only ones in the room with me. I couldn't look them straight in the eye. They were silent and I was silent. I didn't talk to anybody for months. I was under suicide watch for a while but I wasn't thinking about killing myself anymore. They kept me in the hospital for awhile and released me in my parents care. I had to go to counseling and see a therapist for a long time after that. I didn't start talking again until October of that same year. I remembered I got tired of the therapist trying to get me to talk so I talked just so I couldn't see her as much about a couple of weeks before Halloween. One helpful advice she told me was whenever I'd feel really stressed or feel suicidal, I should just find a peaceful time of my past and keep that memory going until I'm relaxed. I told her I wasn't suicidal but she didn't believe me. I find just taking a drive to the middle of nowhere for at least a day and just think about life helps me alot.

Eventually things got better for me. I told myself that every year on May 29th I would always remember Jeff Buckley in my own special way. Even though his death brought me closer to my death, I still feel that without him my life would've taken that wrong path of death long before this all happened. One of these days I'm actually going to plan a trip to just go to his gravesite but I don't feel that I'm ready quite yet for it. Someday I will though, and on that day I will probably forgive myself for what I've done to my friends and family and to myself.

Jeff Buckley combined all kinds of music into one sound. He was definitely ahead of his time and it's a shame that not that many people knew who he was before he died. I think that he would've been one of the legends in music history. If you listen to his Grace cd you'll feel exactly what I felt listening to his music. He put his heart and soul into that cd and wanted everybody to know who he was.


So Real



Grace



My friends and I are going to a concert tonight with a few local bands performing Jeff Buckley songs acoustic. This is my tribute to Jeff Buckley for May 29, 2006.






















Remember

Sunday, May 28, 2006

1 More Day



So, tomorrow is the day. I'm not as crazy about it this year as I was last year and the year before that which I guess is a good sign.

The whole incident happened 9 years ago. Guess I can't seem to forget. Now that I think about it, it seems really petty, but I was a kid on an emotional roller coaster at the time just ready to break. Cause and effect is all it is. Something was building up and what happened on May 29 was the breaking point that started the downfall and my eventual being of who I am today.

I guess I'll expect all the phone calls tonight and tomorrow from everybody.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

2 Days Left: Follow Me



I feel like I have nothing left to say. May 29 will be my most personal post to date. It will be a growing experience for me and I hope to get over that day without.......

Here is a letter my friend sent me a few weeks ago who is overseas for "The War".

********************************************************************

I lost a bet the other day. I had to either eat a handful of sand or see how long I could get away with being naked. It was hot, so I ate the sand naked. Other than that, life here has been pretty dull.

It's easy to see the stars at night without the interference of city lights or that crazy lady in the building next to you throwing her cats around again. I wish I was back home though. By now the war isn't getting to me anymore, now it's just so fucking boring! At least back home I could stick dollars down a strippers g-string, all I have here are ......... I can't think of anything. We have nothing!

I'm trying to get this letter to fill the entire page so I'm trying to think of things that happened, so while I'm thinking I'll keep writing nonsense stuff until I figure out something to write about. Still thinking, still thinking, still thinking, still thinking, jumping jacks hurt my feet, still thinking, still thinking. Ok I got something. Nope, just gas. I can see you guys laughing. I know you guys miss me. You can just send the strippers to pick me up, I'll be with you guys a few minutes later.

Ok that looks like a page now. I wrote big so it looks like I wrote a lot or that I have the mind of a 2 year old. I'll see you guys real soon.

***********************************************************************

He should be home in a few months.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

5 Days Left To Go










I've been thinking, what if you knew when you were going to die. If at birth you had a tattoo on the back of your neck that told you the year and the time you were going to die like


2006

9:43 p.m.

All you knew was the year and the time so when that year comes around you would be terrified every day of that year at exactly 9:43 p.m. wondering if you were going to die that night. Would you plan your own funeral in December of that prior year? Would you even try to know people. Would you even try to have children that you know at birth will die at the age of 6? It's a really creepy thought. People would go crazy. And just a creepy thought is if you get on a bus and you notice everybody has the same year and time on their neck including yourself, would you warn people or would you be expected to warn the people to get off the bus when death would be waiting outside for all of them as expected.

People would probably live life to the fullest and not take anybody for granted. Or it would have the opposite effect. Knowing that you will die that year you would have a death wish and not care what you do. Or would you hide that tattoo for the rest of your life and never look at the year you were going to die so that you wouldn't have to worry. But wouldn't you be curious. It would start with a peek at the last number of the year and then you'd be terrified and curious for more information. The world would definitely be a different place.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

I....Am Not An Animal!

I'm tired of it! I have always been the funny guy, except that period of complete darkness. People always expect me to do something really funny. All through growing up, people would just stare at me and wait as if I'm supposed to say something funny. I was a kid, do you see what kind of stress you people put me under! So I just shout out fart or snot and call it a day. It keeps them entertained for a couple of hours.

Now today I was eating some food with my friends. They stare at me too as if I haaaadddd to say something funny. My mouth full of food and they are just staring at me. So I just busted out laughing spitting food all over the place. Yeah yeah, they got a good laugh but I was the one who dropped the rest of the food on my jeans bringing on more laughter.

I admit that I am really really accident prone. I've been known to just randomly fall down some stairs for no apparent reason. Being laughed at by my older brother for a few minutes until he helps me up has always been a plus in life. But one thing I can say is that I never broke any bones falling down the stairs. One really funny story is one time I fell down the stairs and my mother heard a crack and she assumed I broke my neck. So I heard her screaming in between the constant pounding of my head hitting each step. It was just the railing cracking from just having enough of repeated hits from my limbs throughout the years. When I reached the bottom, I wasn't moving. I was just knocked out for a couple of minutes. My mom called 911 screaming and telling them I just fell down the stairs, or that's how the story goes, I was kind of out of it at the time. So the ambulance came and told me it was just a bad bruise and that I'd be ok. They told me that they have a Top People In Danger List with my name and address and all the problems I've had and have at the doctor's office (small town). Well I guess the story was more disturbing than funny.

I'll try to be more careful nowadays.

6 Days To Go


Sunday, May 21, 2006

8 Days Left

















詞從陌生人, 很簡單和很精美, 它困擾我心愛。我希望忘記。

Words from the stranger, so simple and so delicate, it haunts me beloved. I wish to forget.

8 Days of pure hell is my path before me.

Don't be . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

詞從陌生人, 很簡單和很精美, 它困擾我心愛。我希望忘記。

Saturday, May 20, 2006

9 Days To Go

A Cactus Hitchhiking

Friday, May 19, 2006

Ex Girlfriend

I was just walking out of a store when I ran into an ex girlfriend that is now in town. She's one of the "good ones" that I broke up with a while back. I was supposed to meet my girlfriend for lunch yesterday but I called her to tell her I might be a little late. Stupid me, when she asked me why I told her that I was talking to my ex girlfriend. She was shocked at how nonchalant I would just come out and say that. But I'm not planning on starting something, that's why I said it like I said it.

So we talk and she tells me that she has to go across town. I told her that I was headed that way anyways so I can easily give her a lift. So we're driving and she tells me that we never should've broken up. I told her that she's right but things happen for a reason. She wanted to meet my girlfriend so I stopped to see her before I dropped my ex off. So my girlfriend was acting like she always does when I introduce a girl to her -- very polite and watching every single thing she does. I tell her that I was going to drop her off a few miles up and girlfriend says ok. I drop the ex off and she puts her hand on my face and just stares and tells me that she never forgot me. She gives me her phone number and walks away.

I arrive back to see my girlfriend and she wants to know every single thing about her. So I tell her everything about her and everything she did over and over again. She trusts me but she doesn't trust her. She feels that my ex is going to push something on me hard. I tell her its nonsense and that I've dealt with crazy people before and she is not crazy or that kind of person.

Oh yeah, girlfriend took the phone number of my ex and destroyed it. And I was only 5 minutes late seeing my girlfriend. I know I somewhat feel my girlfriend is a little jealous but I know if the same thing happened to her I would be pissed off enough at the guy for even talking to her. Perhaps this was a one day thing and It will probably not happen again.

10 Days To Go

















laying here,
with nothing,
on my mind,
seeing things,
hearing things,
touching things,
i'm in,
a new world,
filled with,
happy thoughts,
i imagine myself,
lost and confused,
gathering emotion,
to feel something,
no matter,
how hard,
it hurts,
to feel,
10 more days,
to go,
and i'll be,
off this trip,
sad thoughts,
fill my head,
the trip is,
almost over,
but i,
will know,
now i,
will see,
and i,
will fight,
this through,
till the end.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

11 More Days Left

















there is no sunshine in my sky today,
for it's a day closer to May 29,
11 days left to go,
and i have yet to feel the least bit of worry. let the countdown continue,
i'll await it's bitter day with greed and pity don't cry for me today,
for i will cry my own tears
and for you will cry your own.
my destiny is before me,
and i will accept it with arms wide open
goodbye thursday,
and hello friday.
it'll soon be one more day left.
what will i say?
what will i do?
time will tell
and time will go on
11 more days to go.

I Feel Like A Million Bucks!

But I feel so weird today. I popped my drink in the microwave and I poured ice on my food.

If I had a million bucks I would pay somebody to pour the ice on my food for me.

Happy Thursday!





















only 11 Days left.......

Monday, May 15, 2006

FreaKBoy

Writing over and over in this book trying to get a closer understanding of this. I live for you, do you live for me? Why won't you die? Just leave me the fuck alone! I can't live like this!

Constantly writing over and over again......

Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain Is Suicide Is Pain

Constantly writing and muttering over and over again is my life going down. I take one pill to calm me and continue.

One day I'll overdose. Will you be happy then? I know I will. Would you like to see me spitting up my insides for you? Would you like to see me bleed internally for you? I know I will.

I take one more pill to calm me and I continue. It's kicking in now. I can see things more clearly now.

I have a friend who thought he was better off alone. He saw life and new that alcohol was his only way out. He pays a friend $20 for just one beer. "My friend", he says, "I left my world behind, and this life is all I have left. I have experienced outrage and happiness all in the same breath and I can't....."

I had a friend that died by drinking too much. I went to his funeral and never opened my eyes. I would imagine that he would be staring back at me wondering where I was last week when he needed me. I would answer him by saying that I was struggling with my own demons and that I could not save you anymore. I snap back to reality and the funeral is over. I leave and fold that letter of my sad memory of life away for another rainy day.

My head is hurting again. I take a third pill to calm me and I continue. I think it's something worst is wrong with me. Depression has come and gone, death is all that is left for me.

Time keeps moving on, while friends come and gone. I hate you and you hate me. Don't expect things to get better. You are not my sunshine. You are not my light at the end of the tunnel. You are my hell, my enemy, my nightmare and for you are my suicide note. Let my blood infiltrate your wicked soul and haunt you until the day you die.

It's time. I'm home now. I lay on my bed and turn on Drive and chant....

Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
And I can't help but ask myself how much I'll let the fear
Take the wheel and steer
It's driven me before
And it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal
But lately I am beginning to find that I
Should be the one behind the wheel

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
With open arms and open eyes

So if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive
Will I choose water over wine and hold my own and drive?
It's driven me before
And it seems to be the way that everyone else gets around
But lately I'm beginning to find that
When I drive myself my light is found

So whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
With open arms and open eyes

Would you kill the Queen to crush the hive?
Would you choose water over wine
Hold the wheel and drive?


I fall asleep while the track is on repeat. I wake up hours later soaking wet in sweat and puke. I go in the bathroom to clean up and I see my face. It's as if I aged a 1000 years. I look beaten and torn. I blink again and I'm back to normal. It's as if what I was seeing was my withered soul from ages of abuse.

My head and my stomach are killing me. I eat some bread and drink it down with the fourth pill and a side of liquor. I am officially addicted.

The world in front of me spirals and everything seems so crazy. I think I've taken too much. I see people all around me but nobody lives here. I must be dreaming. I think I see all the people of my past who tried to help me. I have to wake up. I gotta fucking wake up! I start crying to myself wondering what happened to me. I fall to my knees and start shouting "Why!" holding my shaking hands up to the ceiling as if I was waiting for an answer. The pain hurts again, I am not dreaming, this is my life ending. I never expected death to be like this? I expected death to be with my wife and two children holding hands crying over me, not me here with nobody knowing. I have no one to cry to, no place to call home. I must get a grip on this!

I fall to the floor and pass out. Something inside of me is still alive. It's like the only candle lit in the darkest room trying to illuminate it all. I can't die. I'm not ready to die.

I have to wake up. Wake up! Wake up and fucking show me! Wake up and fucking tell me! Wake up and fucking save me! You fucking disappoint me! You fucking loser! Why won't you die!

Pain has always been the answer to my problems but I see it's not the answer anymore. I wake up and see a white all around me. If this is my death then it must be a mistake. I hear voices again but they fade out again, I pass out. I wake up again in a hospital just clinging to life. My head hurts again. I need my pills. Where's my fucking pills! I try to move but I can't! This is my hell! If I can't live life like this, then I'll be better off dead! Doctors and nurses start rushing in to sedate me. They calm me and I continue.

Years later I'm able to finish this story by living. That part of me is a letter of my sad memory of life that I put away for rainy day that I hope never comes again.


the end

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Happy Mother's Day



the joys of being a kid

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

I'm Bored and My Mind Is Very Dirty.....

.....so what else is new?

What the hell am I talking about?

1. Burger King's secret sauce
2. Love Rum
3. Little alien versions of me
4. The power of one hand
5. Clam Chowda
6. Playing Tag
7. Desperately Seeking Susan
8. Jungle Juice
9. White Chocolate
10. Homemade lotion
11. Pussyfilla
12. Milkman Delivery
13. Niagara Falls
14. Pump Pump Go
15. Fun With Dick and Jane
16. Seven Nation Army
17. Love Potion
18. 3 seconds of pleasure that last an eternity
19. Baby Batter
20. Pimp Juice
21. Churning the Butter
22. White Water Rafting
23. Dillywhackle Spackle
24. Spermmersby
25. My Milkshake
26. Cream of Noodle
27. Hair Gel
28. Man Jam
29. Peniscolada
30. The Dishonorable Discharge of Private Johnson
31. Cream of the Crop
32. Uh, Jism?
33. Pulling a Viggo
34. Dropping the kids off
35. The Lords of Cocktown
36. White Out
37. Muck Muckity Muck
38. Kitty Litter
39. Gobstoppers
40. Sea Monkeys
41. A Country with Population 1 billion
42. Whip Cream
43. The Mojo
44. Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto
45. The Bomb from The Dong
46. Mountain Dew
47. Nutt-in but love
48. Ropes of Love
49. The Cream Filling in my Twinkie
50. Spermonade
51. Surprise Concocktion
52. He-Man Juice
53. That Warm Fuzzy Feeling
54. Metal Gear Sold 2: Substances
55. Starburst
56. Bruce Almighty
57. Dookie On The Rookie
58. Making the Bald Guy Puke
59. The Milkyway
60. Spanking the Monkey
61. One Eyed Monster Crying
62. The Battle of Hand vs. Big Willie
63. Spidermans Web
64. Byyyyyy Mennen
65. Toy Soldiers
66. Citizen Came
67. Sour Cream Sauce
68. Pearl Jam
69. Sementha Fux
70. Rocket Blaster
71. Mr. Incredible
72. Gum of the Nut
73. Willies Wonka
74. Jack off Jimmy
75. Egg Nog
76. Masturbation Under the Influence
77. Whip it, Whip it good!
78. Defrosting the Fridge
79. Doing the Han Solo
80. Playing Super Mario
81. Slugging the Dynamite
82. Apple Sauce
83. Doing Pee-Wee's Big Adventure
84. Supporting Mr. Kleenex and his family
85. Letting Righty get to know Johnny
86. Milking The Cow
87. Romancing the Bone
88. Slapping Pappy
89. Beating it until it cries
90. Putting another shrimp inside the Bar-B
91. Going Blind
92. Putting down the tent
93. Manning the cockpit
94. Robbing Dick of all his goodies
95. Fist of Blind Fury
96. Pulling the White Rabbit out the hat
97. When Harry Met Sally
98. Poppin' an eye out
99. Burping the baby
100. Tug-O-War With Cyclops

Monday, May 08, 2006

My Doings!

Here's a little list of what I do and what I hate.

Bed/Sex

1. I only sleep in my boxers.
2. I always have to have a sheet over me no matter how hot I am.
3. I have sex with the lights on or very dim light, but I have to see something.
4. I can't help waking up at the same time every morning no matter how tired I am.
5. When I was a kid I fell out the bed and broke my leg (Don't ask me how.)
6. I always, even as a kid, had to have something to listen to as I went to sleep.
7. I love foreplay.
8. I can't have sex on a full stomach. It just feels weird.
9. The only areas I shave are my face and chest. I...trim the other area.
10.I'm not a morning person.

Dating

1. I always kiss on the first date.
2. I never expect sex on the first date.
3. I always take the person out to the best restaurant in town on the first date.
4. If things aren't working out then expect the second date to be the shittiest. The second date would definitely be the last date.
5. I can't stand constant talking.
6. I love it when a date is funny.
7. I never allow the date to pay a single penny on the first date.
8. I am not a romantic, so when I try, it's definitely something to enjoy.
9. I never double date. I just call it hanging out with friends.
10.I can't stand rudeness. Don't think your better than everyone else.
11.I try not to ever date an ex over again. Whoa, bad memories.

Cursing

1. I curse like a sailor.
2. I curse in front of my parents all the time and they love it.
3. I curse when I don't even know it.
4. I would gladly curse anybody out no matter who you are/how famous you are if pushed.
5. My parents slapped me the first day I cursed in front of them.

Fighting

1. I never was a bully.
2. People picked on me because of how skinny I was but I always fought hard.
3. I got a reputation at school as "The Blow Up Kid".
4. I always fought with my brother every single day, even when I call him nowadays.
5. Got suspended for fighting a few times in middle school and high school.
6. Broke my nose in fights a few times.
7. Became friends with a childhood bully.
8. A teacher wanted to fight me one day after school. He told after class he was playing but told me to come back to him in 6 years. I have 2 more years left.....
9. I consider my friends and family extremely close to me and if any of them are hurt and I will bring hell down on whoever that person is.
10.Besides my bully, I never laid a hand on any of my friends.

Eating

1. I never eat food a first date prepares for me. Just a habit.
2. Depends on what I'm eating but I like to just mix my food up.
3. Got in a food fight few times with my current g-friend. She was not amused.
4. After watching "Waiting", I am the kindest person ever at the table.
5. I ate over 10 pounds of Sushi one day and threw it all up the next.

Well that's me. Once I think of some of the other things I know I do, I'll post it.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Eating Behind Her

Everytime I look at that title, I think about sex.

My girlfriends' favorite candy is those Sunmaid Raisins with the whole chocolate coating and raisin center.














So I'm walking inside and I see her watching TV. I sit right next to her and I see a cup full of raisins. I'm like, "cool, dinner." I pour like 10 in my hand and eat it and I put the cup down. She grabs the cup and spits the raisin out inside it. Apparently she sucks on the raisin to get the chocolate off and spits out the raisin. I asked her if she was doing that to all the raisins in the cup and she says yeah. I spit the rest out in my hand. Big mistake. She screams, "What, you think I'm dirty!" I don't mind eating behind my girlfriend. She eats half a cheeseburger, gets full, and I sometimes would just eat the rest for her. But eating predigested food is my limit! So a few curse words later, she breaks down and I end up eating every single raisin in the cup.

This morning when she made me breakfast, she put a disclaimer on all the food saying, "This food never touched my mouth but I might've accidently spit on it and wiped my ass with it!" Good Morning to me! I ate it anyways just to prove to her that I'm over it and I would glady eat the food off the floor if she wanted me to. Oh how missed this while I was gone. I bought her a giant chocolate bar today since she was craving it so much yesterday, I don't want anymore confusion.

Monday, May 01, 2006

MMCD -- My May Mix CD

Click On The Tracks On The Right To Hear It

**The Rapture**
Out of the Races and Onto the Tracks

**Jane's Addiction**
True Nature

**Bikini Kill**
Rebel Girl

**She Wants Revenge**
Tear You Apart

**The Raconteurs**
Steady, As She Goes

**Puddle Of Mudd**
Nobody Told Me

**Disturbed**
Stupify (Fu's Forbidden Little Nicky Remix)

**Marilyn Manson**
Disposable Teens

**Daniel Lioneye**
King of Rock 'N' Roll

**Nirvana**
Radio Friendly Unit Shifter

**Bif Naked**
I Love Myself Today

**Muse**
New Born

**Incubus**
New Skin

**Red Hot Chili Peppers**
Dani California

**Green Day**
Holiday

**Hole**
Violet

**Moonspell**
Opium

**Yeah Yeah Yeahs**
Pin

**The Butterfly Effect**
Pure

**Korn**
Thoughtless