Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Prepaid Legal

Prepaid legal is the shit! Im sure it won't be my last offense.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

The Holidays

  1. Easter: A rabid talking rabbit lures kids with easter eggs to a hidden place
  2. Christmas: A prowler breaks into your home and eats your food
  3. New Years: A baby is the poster child for getting drunk

Friday, February 20, 2009

Monday, February 16, 2009


I've been tagged by Shel. Im a little too lazy to tag 7 other people so 7 people who read this, do the samething, list 7 things about you.

  1. I love cheeseburgers
  2. I sleep in boxers and a t-shirt. I tried sleeping naked once but felt, uh too naked.
  3. I attempted a stunt from Jackass. ouch.
  4. I'm a boob man.
  5. I faked an STD so that a girl that I hated would break up with me. I had to have her remember me.
  6. Spiders creep me out, but I enjoy the freakiness of them.
  7. The most embarrassing moment of my life was when I on crutches and it was raining that day. When I went into the lunchroom, I slipped and fell but I was using my crutches to try and get a hold of myself. My arms and crutches going back and forth just made things worse and I ended up falling. Students and teachers laughing.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Who Got VD on VD?

What kind of cops have checkpoints on Valentine's Day? It was my friend and his girlfriend and my girlfriend and this guy we gave a ride for exchange for weed. The car reeked of pot and I knew for sure I was so going to jail. Luckily we just started smoking and the guy was the obvious pothead, Im just a closted pothead where Im totally baked but always have that look so its hard to tell. The guy had a pipe with him too. I was shocked and appalled. You think you know hitchhikers. If we all had only made it home, we all would've been smoking crack together. Well they arrested the guy and almost took us all in. Geez, I know Im guilty for the weed, but drugs? I take prescription nowadays YO! He just gave me a ticket. Fucking pigs, I hate them all. We are the hippies and the cops are "the man" trying to bring our high down. Well, guess it's better than going to jail. It's not the summons that pisses me off, it's the checkpoint on V-Day. I've never been stopped at a checkpoint on V-Day. Now if I was stopped tonight and got caught for weed, I'd feel much better.

Oh yeah so back to the story. For VD, I was planning on giving my girlfriend pot as a gift. I know what girls like. But in my defense, she asked for it so I felt obligated to smoke some with her. But the cops confiscated the weed from our friend and ruined VD. So I had to go to the guy whose weed cost more money than everybody else. He blames the economy for the inflation but thats besides the point.

So how was your VD?

Friday, February 13, 2009

I'm Back.....

What a hellish few weeks I had. When a bad day turns into a bad week and then so on. I got really really depressed over the past few weeks. A few attempted slits of the wrist, a few calls to the suicide hotline and a meeting with my sponsor and I'm back to normal. Today is not a great day but it's a better day. I'm just surrounded by so much negativity that it's just bringing me down. I haven't been this bad in awhile. 2009 is starting off with a bang.

Over the past few weeks I thought about a lot of things including the impact my death would have on the people that care for me. I tried to compensate by thinking how my life would be much better if I wasn't in each and every one of their lives. Luckily I came back to my senses. I GOT MEDS!!!!!! Yummy meds. I'm poppin' them like skittles, safely, so far, sometimes.

I had so many things to write about over those weeks but I just lost interest in everything. I wanted to keep you guys updated and that I'm good. I don't know how much longer I'm going to keep writing to this blog. My interest in everything is starting to go away. The way I see things now, I'll probably start blogging less and less until I just won't blog anymore. But I'm still a little depressed so it just might be the depression and the meds talking.

Last weekend, one of my neighbors across the street had a heart attack and died. I never knew him but I always saw him.

But frankly, I'm tired of drowning my problems here, plus it's Friday the 13th. A day of fear for other people tends to put a smile on my face. Plus I have something to smile about, my girlfriend has been with me through this difficult time as well so I'll show her my thanks tomorrow. I know I'm not the easiest person to get along with during my moods.

My next post will definitely be more upbeat whenever I write again. I'll try and get to everybody's blogs eventually. You know what's really ironic, I have my ipod on shuffle and it went to Peter Gabriel's "Don't Give Up". My sponsor gave me a list of songs to motivate me. So I look for Eminem's "Crack A Bottle" to give me some real motivation. That's my shit.

Have a happy 13th and a commerically corrupt day made up by the government called V-Day. Guess you know which movie I'm watching tonight.