Damn It!!!!!!!!!!!!

The dvd stopped half way! I should've known using the dvd as a coaster wasn't a good idea.
We are waiting for Poindexter to get Family Guy.

Just a few more hours until tomorrow and I'll see my girlfriend again. Just a few seconds after that I'll be having sex!

Slasher Fridays! Puppets Gone Mad!

A little known sick and twisted movie from Peter Jackson himself. Meet the Feebles is the most sickest twisted puppet movie ever and I love every single minute of it. Can't really consider puppet gore as a Slasher but it's great.

It's definetly something you can't watch back to back, but we will tonight.

Old People DO Serve A Purpose

Although old and fragile, old people do serve a purpose. And I always thought they were used for giving dumb boring gifts on your birthdays and Christmas. They can't drive. They go 35 mph in a 55 mph zone. Then push you around knowing that you can't push them back because people will say "Oh look at that mean guy stuffing that old person in the trash". They say they're handicapped but I'd like to see some proof.

You all remember the old hag I had encounters with a couple of times in the past that just turned me off completely from old people (except my grandparents). Well I had an encounter with a nice hag, excuse me, old lady today.

I was feeling kind of down and all being that I haven't had sex in weeks (no I did not have sex with the old lady) since my girlfriend is out of town. I don't know how it started but I started talking about my sex life to an old lady that I've never met. And she knew everything I was talking about. She even gave me tips! But she told me that if I am able to not cheat on my girlfriend knowing that I could get away with it, then I am in a relationship that is destined to last. She said that she got married when she was young and that her husband had to go to war within weeks after their marriage. She told me how she was like a "Sex Goddess" and she started telling me what she would do, but I had to tell her to stop. I couldn't stop seeing her wrinkled body moving around and doing all those in my head, but I got the point and a few nightmares.

She even gave me her phone number. I felt a little embarrassed because these people were walking by when she gave me her phone number. They probably think I'm a Sick Fucking Bastard, oh wait, I am. But only for advice that's all. If I was going to cheat with somebody, she can't be older than my grandmother.

I feel better now. But I just can't seem to stop thinking about the old lady having sex. I think I'm just turned off my sex in general right now. I told my girlfriend about her and she wasn't even in the mood for phone sex anymore.

I'd like to conclude this by saying old people having sex is definitely a lasting downer in more ways than one.

I Can't Hold Out For Much Longer!

My girlfriend is finally coming back Saturday. And I'm am so fucking horny! So many damn temptations everywhere. You start noticing a lot of things when you're sex deprived. Like stalker chick brushes pass you on purpose. Girls start hitting on you more often. You unconsciously start flirting with the opposite sex. You wake up every morning with a constant .......

Well my girlfriend and I are gonna be pretty busy indoors on Saturday. Phone sex is great with each other but it's not same. I need to "feel things". Four more days and I'll be free of this hell!

I'm starting to think now that I probably picked up smoking to get over sex. And for awhile it worked until all the death talk from everybody got me to quit. But now my urges are coming back. I just need to walk around with an ice pack on my crotch for the next 4 days until she gets back.

The Bastards!

The News Today Is Depressing

VIDA WILL MAKE ME HAPPY





















With people stabbing people on the side of highways and people killing mothers and their children. What the fuck is wrong with the world today!?

Smoke Out

Three days and counting. I haven't smoked one in three days. Peer pressure! It's like the Arabian man and the corner grocery store is my pimp and if I don't smoke those cigarettes, he's gonna beat me.

I had a reality check a couple of days ago. My mother called me and told me a story she heard when she was around my age. In so many words it dealt with death and many health problems. All this stuff I already know but my mom made it sound a little bit more graphic with sound effects.

After having another one of moms great conversations, I decided to definitely quit smoking forever. My friend on the other hand is having a little harder trouble quitting. They are planning some kind of intervention with him today but they won't tell me what it is. They feel I'm half on his side and half on their side on the smoking issue. All I know is that it has something to do with a liver and some fire. Sounds cool.

Slasher Fridays! Is That A Raincoat?

I fucking love this movie! It's so funny in so many wrong ways. I'm actually the only one out of everybody to watch this. And I thought everybody has seen this. This is my favorite scene in the movie.

Yeeeahhhh Ciggy

Ok, I'm now included in the no smoke intervention now. They all approached me and said I smoke too much. They all said I've reached the "reach out" point of smoking. Then of course I said that I don't have a problem, I ....(put the cigarette in my mouth and blow the smoke out) can quit anytime!

I can't help it! I started off so well. I quit a while back then I started just one pack a few weeks ago and that was it. But I started seeing people smoke and I remembered those days. Then I asked to borrow just one cigarette from my other fellow "smoke out" friend and now I'm hooked. I think I have a problem. I was thirsty and I was out of cigarettes, but I only had enough for one of them. I assumed their's gotta be a water fountain somewhere so I bought a pack of cigs instead. This is my last week of smoking and then I'm done. Never again will I smoke after this. As I'm writing this I'm lighting another cig.

I feel like I'm one with the world now. Now that my girlfriend is out of town and unable to stop me from smoking, I'm just a loose cannon. She's gonna kill me when she comes back home. Ash trays and beer bottles everywhere. She told me that she's not worried because I'd be back to normal again once she comes back. But I see no diff? I look the same like I always do in that picture.

My Anti-Smoke Message

Smoking is cool kids. Don't you wanna be cool too? Then join me and light one. Hell, light two, you have two lungs don't ya? Don't wanna leave the other lung without some fun.

Sweet Dreams Are Made Of These

Is it you? No way is it you. It must be me. But how can it be me when it's so you? It's all you. Why? Because, It's you! What! What do you want from me! It's me! Are you fucking happy?! It's always been me! Fuck! Aaaaaahhhhhhhh! You know that day you said it was you and it wasn't me? You were drunk and throwing up over the balcony, but I totally agreed with you. Therefore it's you. Don't look at me like that. It doesn't matter if your eyes were rolling in the back of your head and you were trying to swim in air for 45 minutes while chanting lyrics from Jessica Simpson backwards. I still think a little part of you knew exactly what you were saying. Ok, let's overlook that night. I will be the bigger man and say it's you. Are you happy now. No, no, don't say anything. I admitted that you were wrong and I accept your apology. Shh. Let it go. No need to call the cops for me. I know you are sorry. Hey, what are you doing with that gun. I'm not a gun expert but I think if you aim that another person than some states might consider that murder. Fine! I'm wrong! Are you happy! I can't believe you! You would actually put a gun on me?! And you're sober! I can see you're angry. The vein on your forehead is popping another vein on top of it. I'm just gonna accept your apology for putting the gun on me and for admitting you were in the wrong here. FUCK! You fucking shot me in the arm! How am I going to explain this to my parents! Mom, Dad, don't mind the blood shooting out my arm! It's just a flesh wound, I'll walk it off! This is relationship is so over! Gimmie the gun! But you will remember me. I threw my blood all over your furniture. Ha! Who got the last laugh now! Ok, I admit defeat. I was wrong and I am sorry. This blood isn't stopping! Fuck! I never knew I had this much blood. When is gonna stop! I think I'm dying here. Maybe you can suck the bullet out with snake like lips. Ok ok don't hurt me. Finally! The ambulance arrives. Good thing I wasn't just shot in the arm or I would've been near death by now! If I make it out alive I'm so getting a divorce. And I'm suing the fucking paramedics and the manufacture of that gun! One last thing. It's not me it's you! It's fucking you! Take me away from here! She's a fucking crazy!

Two days later

Where am I? I can move my arm. I can move my arm! Wait. Wait? Wait! I.....where's my fucking legs! Nothing was wrong with my legs! Where are my fucking legs! I was fucking shot in the arm! Why are my legs amputated! Whoa, it was a bad dream. Ok, I'm still all together. I still have my arms and legs.

The End.

I really need to lay off the alcohol. That was what I remember from my dream last night a.k.a. this morning.

And no this has nothing to do with my girlfriend. She would never listen to Jessica Simpson nor sing her song backwards. Shooting me in the arm and having my legs missing is all her. I would not be surprised at all. Goodnight, I'm going back to sleep.

Slasher Fridays!

We are going to an abandoned house in the woods tonight at around 3 in the morning. According to what I hear, this is the house where this guy murdered a few people there in the forest next to the house and inside it and it's said to be haunted with the ghosts. This happened like years before I was even born but the story gets weirder and weirder as the years go by.

We are having a campout and just talk about whatever. Maybe one of us will get possessed and we would have to perform and exorcism on somebody. That would be so fucking awesome. Maybe I can get possessed by Gandhi or Elvis.

Smoke Me

January 1st 2007

That's the day my friend hopes to get over his smoking. He's been smoking since he was 14. We are all going to help him quit.

But I can't quit. I've been smoking since I started high school.

I love the way it makes me feel.

I buy 9 packs a day. I think I have a smoking problem.

If you cut me, I'll shoot smoke out my veins.

My parents did it, they even bought me my first pack.

They have so many cool looking lighters out there.

I tried the patch and the gum. Makes a great band-aid and makes your breath somewhat fresh when you finish smoking.

I started smoking when I was in high school but I didn't like it. The idea that you actually have to pay for them a couple of times a week made me quit. But somedays, I just wonder what it would feel like one more time holding that cigarette in my hand and inhaling one big one. Then just letting it out as I close my eyes. Oh yeah. Forget about sex, that would be my passion.

It loses its luster once your addicted. After that your fucked. Decisions decisions. I have $5. I have no food and I have no cigarettes. What do I need right now? I can go a week without eating but I can't go a week without the cigarettes. There you have it. The choice of a sooner death over food. I always wanted to have that machine where you have to use it to talk for you. And you have that robot voice. I can go on tour with Styx and sing Mr. Roboto. I wanted to be that freaky guy kids laugh at. So cool.

domo arigato mr roboto domo arigato mr roboto domo arigato mr roboto domo arigato mr roboto

Then you get the second hand smoke. If I get lung cancer I know who I'm coming for!

We destroyed all his cigarettes and lighters. We even took his money so that he wouldn't spend it on them. He didn't see a point in doing that but we needed the money for our services. He is the only person left out of all of us that quit smoking. And him smoking is making our will power go away. I even took a drag a couple of weeks ago. Drag meaning the entire pack (can't just waste the pack). The memories. But I'm smoke free for 2 weeks.

We are gonna start off with the basic quit smoking techniques and make our way to making him smoke 20 packs at once. We're looking forward to that one. We'd probably end up killing him after all of this, but it will be a lesson learned for any of us who wants to start smoking.

Envy

Getting another one of my daily calls from my girlfriend about how she's doing and what's going on. "Stop Michael, I'm on the phone". Is what I hear.

She claims that Michael is gay and has no interest in girls whatsoever, but who is 100% gay?





















I think she might be getting back at me. Friday night we all went out to eat after watching the movie and this really hot girl came on to me right in front of my girlfriend. My girlfriend and I thought nothing of it but the girl was really pushing herself on me. She gave me her phone number and then my girlfriend had to step in and point out to the misinformed hot chick that I'm already taken. I don't know how it came across to the girl but she left and called my girlfriend a bitch. Then my night was fucked. Arguing back and forth when we got home on why didn't I just come out and say I was taken. I thought (first mistake) that it was all in good fun but no harm can come out of it since my girlfriend was right there beside me the entire time! She didn't see it that way.

When I dropped her off with her group the next day she was giving me the fake smile and the fake I'm ok don't worry about it look, oh how I hate those looks. She thinks I'm cheating on her. And I think she's cheating on me. But of course we haven't brought this up to each other. We are both untrusting of each other right now. This trip that she's on couldn't have come at the worst time. I know she's not cheating and she knows I'm not cheating. We are just at odds with each other and I can't sit down and talk to her face to face. Then amist all this, Michael ends up in the picture today. I heard him in the background. He sounds pretty gay. Gay to the point that I felt him undressing me over the phone. Plus my girlfriend does have a few gay guy friends around here so I think I'm just blowing this out of proportion. Maybe I can get some lesbians for friends.

If things don't get better I might have to skip classes for the rest of this week and go up to her and maybe kick some Michael ass.

Stress stress stress. Our one year anniversary will be next month. We'll see if we can make it to that. She's supposed to call me again tonight so we can talk a little more. If it's good news then I'll post tonight.

We haven't gotten in any good fights lately. Good to see the fire in her eyes again.

My hungry and waiting for the pizza to arrive face.

I Hear Voices

I think the dog is coming back to kill me after I got rid of it. It waited until my girlfriend left just to give me weeks of hell until she comes back. It all started with scratching at the door. Then I heard growling and barking this morning coming from its favorite place to sleep. If I wake up with part of my neck missing then I'll know what did it.

What are the chances that the dog found me again? It could be all in my head. I watched Cujo a couple of weeks ago so I guess I'm having nightmares. I'll have to get my night light out and sleep with the covers on.

As a kid whenever I was afraid of something I would hide under the bed because that would be the last place a crazy maniac would check of course. My brother wasn't much help. He'd make me watch a scary movie with him when he babysat me. So when I went to bed, scared to death, he would start shouting that there's a monster after him and he'd gag like he was choking on blood. Oh how I love my brother. Oh how I got him back. I was able to buy some fake blood one day he was supposed to babysit me. Of course he'd let me watch a horror movie with him like every single time. I planned this perfectly. I was a sick kid so don't be shocked at what happens next. I got a butter knife and covered it with blood and wiped all the fake blood all over my mouth and put the knife next to me. So when he was trying to scare me, I didn't make a noise. He came towards my room and saw blood all over my sheets and face. I already fell asleep on the floor and forgot about the prank so he had a little trouble waking me up. Not part of the plan but hell that was a good idea.

He grabbed me and carried me in the kitchen to splash water into my face. I was slowly coming to. Then our parents walked in to see a bloody trail on the floor and my brother shouting. They ran into the kitchen and saw me covered in blood and my brother trying to wake me up. Talk about awkward. After my mom came to from passing out I was all cleaned up and we were both grounded. Luckily she never knew about the knife or else we would've been in worst trouble.

I call that night a bonding moment with my brother. I'd just graduated the class of Sickness that night. And the many stories to follow of pranks back and forth between us......

Someone Dial 9-1-1

Do you still remember?



Five fucking years and still we are at a fucking war! Bin Laden still hasn't been caught. He's still hasn't even been seen! And people want ME to still believe in our government. FUCK THAT SHIT!



My friend fucking fought in that war and feels it was a waste of the nations money. Do I need to link his letters to this post? Why are we still there?! What the fuck is left to look for! Every single fucking year goes by and we get futher and further into rage! Then we fucking arrest Saddam Hussein!? Then we destroy the country and kill tons of people then rebuild it like nothing happen? It's like we, excuse me, THEY forgot who they were looking for. I thought we were looking for Bin Laden? They call it victory. I don't remember drinking wine and partying up with my friends when Saddam was found. We were like so what. Who the fuck cares! America wants to see the Statue of Liberty stick her foot so far up Bin Laden's ass he'd be shitting every single fucking word of hate for him spewed from the heart of America.

I don't know who the believe anymore. I lost faith in my own country. I'm all out of support. I'm so fucking confused right now. I need something alcoholic really really bad right now.

I'm out.

By The Way

And all I needed was somebody to listen to me

Someone who would wait for me

Anybody to just stop what they had to do

By the way, didn't you notice me?

I showed all the signs

Hiding my marks

Deep scary depression

By the way, didn't you notice me?

I tried to call you last night

You never picked up the phone

Bottling up all my aggressions today

By the way, didn't you notice me?

Not caring where I go

Not caring what I do

Not caring how I try

By the way, didn't you notice me?

I went shopping tomorrow

I bought something to match my personality

Deep Empty Angry Deadly

By the way, didn't you notice me?

All I wanted was a hello

All I ever got was nothing

I write this so you can forget me

By the way, didn't you notice me

I find myself looking in the gun's direction

Late mornings and early nights

Crowd my eyes with bright white

By the way, didn't you notice me?

The room is dark and spinning

Things are spiraling out of control!

I paint the walls......

By the way, didn't you notice me?

I wrote this because I heard that somebody I never knew committed suicide at my school a few days ago. I was thinking of not even posting this message but I feel it's calming for me to write this out.

I've seen the person around and I never really talked to him but I never thought he'd do that. I of all people should know the signs. Things are just tragic. Don't worry, I won't get depressed about death like I used to for weeks. It's like you see a person one day and then the next they are dead and you never saw it coming until it's too late.

In other news, my girlfriend is gone for awhile. I plan on trashing everything including myself and just go crazy everyday like I'm living life to the fullest with no attachments.

Slasher Fridays

We're watching Faces of Death today. If you are familiar with the series then you know how really sick they are. They've been called the ultimate horror movies of all time since they are real life. I remember when I first saw a Faces of Death movie. I was just a kid. My brother had a bootleg version of it. The movies were always for the strong. And you'd always hide it from your parents. After watching one for the first time, you'd never be the same again. I was so terrified of all the stuff that happened, but yet I couldn't turn away. Now I think I've seem them all already.

Their is no way we'll finish it since none of the girls have never watched one. They'll be disgusted by it within a few seconds so we also rented Club Dread. A really good horror/comedy. Don't mind watching that over and over again.

Long Day

Girlfriend is leaving Saturday for her school thing so I'm helping her pack her stuff now. For something that's just gonna be a few weeks, she's packing a lot of things. It's so damn hot right now. The air is on full blast but I can't stop sweating. Sounds like an opening line for a porno.

She got this picture of me a few minutes ago so I decided to post it and have a reason to stop helping. Why does she need six different pocket books? It's a fucking school project trip! I'm just glad I didn't take that class this semester.

I'm gonna miss her, sniff sniff. I guess it's just me and the blow ups for the next few weeks. I haven't had my own pad in months. I forgot how to live by myself. I hope I remember to eat everyday.

The Lost Marathon

We are all skipping class today to watch both the 1st and 2nd season of Lost. We've seen the first one already but we want to watch it back to back. I rented the entire first season yesterday and now I'm waiting on one my friends to get the second season. We disconnected all the phones and put a do not disturb sign on the door. If anybody talks they have to leave even if it's me.

Sneak peak:



Now that's fucked up. If I was tripping on acid, I would so be bugging out at the polar bear scene right now.

Oh Shit, I Lost The Kid!

For all you sexy ladies out there. Don't ever leave your kid with me. I'll end up losing them.

I'm not a babysitter. I'm not used to taking care of people. You don't know how many times I have lost my little sister. My mom would always tell me to hold my sister's hand so that we both do not get lost. I get sidetracked and forget I have a sister. And there she would go climbing on a statue or something. Then there goes the punishment everytime. You'd think my mom would know that I'm not a great babysitter. Then a few weeks later I lose her again. The point of us holding hands would be that my little sister won't lose me since I'm the one that always gets lost. That's not fair. I'm just getting this. My little kid sister who barely knew how to read was babysitting me, her older brother! I'm so calling mom after this!

Well today my girlfriend was watching her nephew but she had to run and asked me to watch him for a few hours. No problem right? Just a few hours, I can handle that. I took him to the arcade and I even fed the little snot. Then my phone rings. It's Alex wanting to hang out. I say sure and I walk out the mall and get inside my car. So I'm at the stop light listening to the music. I look in the rearview mirror and see a little hat in the back seat. I wonder what the fuck is a little hat doing in.......Oh shit! and do a u-turn in the middle of traffic. I can't believe I did this again! If I lose a kid my girlfriend would definitely beat the living shit out of me, nevermind the legal aspects of this!

I run inside the mall and lucky for me, he was in the arcade where I thought I left him...... I feel really bad about this. When I become a parent, will I lose all my kids? Will I have to attach a tracking device inside their bodies so I won't lose them?

I had to tell my girlfriend about it. I didn't want it to slip out accidentally like the time I told my friends about..................well it didn't end well at all. Of course she was pissed off at me for awhile but it always could be worst. I'm going straight to hell for that comment.

I can really be a good father. I've watched plenty of kids without losing them, 97% of the time. I even got a badge one time for not losing my sister. Kids like me. I was talking to one of my friends and his sister who I've never met had her kid with her and the kid wanted to come to me. So I held the kid and he fell asleep on me. Then when his mother wanted him back he woke up and didn't want to go back to her. The baby was crying and trying to reach out for me. She had to leave just so the baby wouldn't see me.

See, kids love me. I just can't seem to remember where I lose them.

I think it's in my genes to lose kids. My father lost my older brother at the airport one time. My older brother lost me a few times but I think that was more on purpose then accidental. And of course I lost my sister a few times. And I got lost tons of times. Michael Jackson would've loved me back then. I think I have ADD. I see something and then I see something better then I'd forget what the hell I was doing. Once I realize I'm lost I'd always just go to security. And like always, whoever lost me that day would be waiting for me there. I was like that for about a couple of years. Stressful times. Don't get me wrong, my parents watched me like a hawk. I'd always sneak out from under them to do something fun. My parents would always have to pay the babysitter double if I had to be watched. Like I was such a problem child. I scared a lot of babysitters though when I got lost. Aaahhhh, those were the days.

I called my mom to tell her about the situation. She was terrified and asked if the kid was ok. I asked her what kid? Then she starting shouting and I told I was just messing with her. In actuality I didn't know where the kid was anymore. My girlfriend took him out of my site, or at least I'm hoping that's what she did. Ok I just called her, he's with her. I can't believe this. Am I that forgetful? My mom told me that I put every single gray hair on her head since the day I was born and I just put 4 more with that comment about losing the kid. She told me not to feel so bad and that it was an accident and I didn't mean to do it. But I know she was just making me feel better. I'll forget about this in the morning, JUST LIKE I FORGOT ABOUT THE KID!!!!!

This is a lesson learned for all of us. I feel smarter already. Sorry little kid and girlfriend. I'll never lose another kid again. I'm so over this now. Writing this is actually making me feel better. I think if I babysit the kid again and not lose him then things will go back to normal. I'll do it tomorrow. I'll watch the kid for 1 hour during my break from classes and he won't get lost. Nah forget it. With my bad luck I'd probably put him on a plane to Europe.

Yo! B.Y.O.B.

Keeping it fucked up. I'll bring my nine and represent the East Side! Bang bang bang goes the door in the morning. It's my girl shorty K-Y to the Jelly aka Beyond Me. Keeping my ho's in line with the look. You know you can't fuck with this! I'll bring the hizzie to the nizzie, ya feel me? Damn phone is ringing. I's pick it up and who else can it be but kimmyk aka Kinky K telling me this shit that's going down in a hour. I call my peeps out at firestarter aka Burn The Mother Fucka Down! to handle this shit for me. I's thens gets a call from K-Fed saying he's gonna put on a hurting on me I ain't gonna forget. So what's a honkey to do? I jog to my bedroom to flip the switch to get my guns, cuz I fuckin' represent. Knock knock knock on the damn door again. Who the fuck is it I shout. "It's me fool, The Cutter aka Kate M kicking ass and chillin' with nothin' more than a feelin'". She sees I'm too wasted to think straight. My trick broke my heart. I'm heartbroke. But I gotta keep it going. I can't let no trick hold me down. I'm the sick fucking bastard! I fucking invented the shiznet! I hop out the door with my silencer behind me and my watergun strapped against my shoulder. It's going down bitches! Then shelibells aka Slim Shady comes running out screaming, "Don't hurt K-Fed, he ain't shit!" We meet at 12 noon on the South Side. Snoop and Dre passes me the water. Eminem is behind me telling me to kick some ass. It's time.

Ok ok I'll stop. My girlfriend is going out of town next week for awhile and I need to go back to my hardcore take no shit attitude again since everybody is saying I'm pussywhipped now. Fuck that! I control my own life and no woman is going to rule this bastard. I wear the pants in this relationship. If she has a problem then she can write it down and I'll think about it reading it later. And on that note, I'd like to say to my girlfriend that I will cut all my hair off and get a tattoo on my back saying "Shedding The Blood Of Love" in red and black, and I'll pierce not only my lip but I'll pierce my left and right nipple and have a chain connecting it all. I'll go to that damn hotdog stand and ask for my money back! I expect my evil horns to grow during that time. Oh yeah baby, I won't be cute anymore when you come back. I am the Bastard!

I'll admit that my girlfriend has kept me in line. Now that she'll be gone for a while, that little voice in the back of my head will open the door to my poor fragile mind and pollute it with dirty things again. I can't wait!

Slasher Fridays!

Cujo and Slumber Party Massacre



And the odd thing about this is that the girls chose Slumber Party Massacre. But we all had to watch Friends With Money before we watch any of the horror movies, bummer. I wish I had some friends with money.

I believe the movie below is nudity free?