Old People DO Serve A Purpose

Although old and fragile, old people do serve a purpose. And I always thought they were used for giving dumb boring gifts on your birthdays and Christmas. They can't drive. They go 35 mph in a 55 mph zone. Then push you around knowing that you can't push them back because people will say "Oh look at that mean guy stuffing that old person in the trash". They say they're handicapped but I'd like to see some proof.

You all remember the old hag I had encounters with a couple of times in the past that just turned me off completely from old people (except my grandparents). Well I had an encounter with a nice hag, excuse me, old lady today.

I was feeling kind of down and all being that I haven't had sex in weeks (no I did not have sex with the old lady) since my girlfriend is out of town. I don't know how it started but I started talking about my sex life to an old lady that I've never met. And she knew everything I was talking about. She even gave me tips! But she told me that if I am able to not cheat on my girlfriend knowing that I could get away with it, then I am in a relationship that is destined to last. She said that she got married when she was young and that her husband had to go to war within weeks after their marriage. She told me how she was like a "Sex Goddess" and she started telling me what she would do, but I had to tell her to stop. I couldn't stop seeing her wrinkled body moving around and doing all those in my head, but I got the point and a few nightmares.

She even gave me her phone number. I felt a little embarrassed because these people were walking by when she gave me her phone number. They probably think I'm a Sick Fucking Bastard, oh wait, I am. But only for advice that's all. If I was going to cheat with somebody, she can't be older than my grandmother.

I feel better now. But I just can't seem to stop thinking about the old lady having sex. I think I'm just turned off my sex in general right now. I told my girlfriend about her and she wasn't even in the mood for phone sex anymore.

I'd like to conclude this by saying old people having sex is definitely a lasting downer in more ways than one.