Monday, September 11, 2006

I Hear Voices


















I think the dog is coming back to kill me after I got rid of it. It waited until my girlfriend left just to give me weeks of hell until she comes back. It all started with scratching at the door. Then I heard growling and barking this morning coming from its favorite place to sleep. If I wake up with part of my neck missing then I'll know what did it.

What are the chances that the dog found me again? It could be all in my head. I watched Cujo a couple of weeks ago so I guess I'm having nightmares. I'll have to get my night light out and sleep with the covers on.

As a kid whenever I was afraid of something I would hide under the bed because that would be the last place a crazy maniac would check of course. My brother wasn't much help. He'd make me watch a scary movie with him when he babysat me. So when I went to bed, scared to death, he would start shouting that there's a monster after him and he'd gag like he was choking on blood. Oh how I love my brother. Oh how I got him back. I was able to buy some fake blood one day he was supposed to babysit me. Of course he'd let me watch a horror movie with him like every single time. I planned this perfectly. I was a sick kid so don't be shocked at what happens next. I got a butter knife and covered it with blood and wiped all the fake blood all over my mouth and put the knife next to me. So when he was trying to scare me, I didn't make a noise. He came towards my room and saw blood all over my sheets and face. I already fell asleep on the floor and forgot about the prank so he had a little trouble waking me up. Not part of the plan but hell that was a good idea.

He grabbed me and carried me in the kitchen to splash water into my face. I was slowly coming to. Then our parents walked in to see a bloody trail on the floor and my brother shouting. They ran into the kitchen and saw me covered in blood and my brother trying to wake me up. Talk about awkward. After my mom came to from passing out I was all cleaned up and we were both grounded. Luckily she never knew about the knife or else we would've been in worst trouble.

I call that night a bonding moment with my brother. I'd just graduated the class of Sickness that night. And the many stories to follow of pranks back and forth between us......

3 comments:

kimmyk said...

LOL @ talk about awkward.

I'll kill Adam if he does that sort of shit. You and your brother needed to be grounded til you're 63. But I love how you two prank each other. I think he's still one up on ya after his last visit.

Kate Michele said...

Oh what I have to look forward to!!

ysfb said...

My mother always had the advice to give to the other moms since she went through it early with us.