Sunday, September 03, 2006

Oh Shit, I Lost The Kid!

For all you sexy ladies out there. Don't ever leave your kid with me. I'll end up losing them.

I'm not a babysitter. I'm not used to taking care of people. You don't know how many times I have lost my little sister. My mom would always tell me to hold my sister's hand so that we both do not get lost. I get sidetracked and forget I have a sister. And there she would go climbing on a statue or something. Then there goes the punishment everytime. You'd think my mom would know that I'm not a great babysitter. Then a few weeks later I lose her again. The point of us holding hands would be that my little sister won't lose me since I'm the one that always gets lost. That's not fair. I'm just getting this. My little kid sister who barely knew how to read was babysitting me, her older brother! I'm so calling mom after this!

Well today my girlfriend was watching her nephew but she had to run and asked me to watch him for a few hours. No problem right? Just a few hours, I can handle that. I took him to the arcade and I even fed the little snot. Then my phone rings. It's Alex wanting to hang out. I say sure and I walk out the mall and get inside my car. So I'm at the stop light listening to the music. I look in the rearview mirror and see a little hat in the back seat. I wonder what the fuck is a little hat doing in.......Oh shit! and do a u-turn in the middle of traffic. I can't believe I did this again! If I lose a kid my girlfriend would definitely beat the living shit out of me, nevermind the legal aspects of this!

I run inside the mall and lucky for me, he was in the arcade where I thought I left him...... I feel really bad about this. When I become a parent, will I lose all my kids? Will I have to attach a tracking device inside their bodies so I won't lose them?

I had to tell my girlfriend about it. I didn't want it to slip out accidentally like the time I told my friends about..................well it didn't end well at all. Of course she was pissed off at me for awhile but it always could be worst. I'm going straight to hell for that comment.

I can really be a good father. I've watched plenty of kids without losing them, 97% of the time. I even got a badge one time for not losing my sister. Kids like me. I was talking to one of my friends and his sister who I've never met had her kid with her and the kid wanted to come to me. So I held the kid and he fell asleep on me. Then when his mother wanted him back he woke up and didn't want to go back to her. The baby was crying and trying to reach out for me. She had to leave just so the baby wouldn't see me.

See, kids love me. I just can't seem to remember where I lose them.

I think it's in my genes to lose kids. My father lost my older brother at the airport one time. My older brother lost me a few times but I think that was more on purpose then accidental. And of course I lost my sister a few times. And I got lost tons of times. Michael Jackson would've loved me back then. I think I have ADD. I see something and then I see something better then I'd forget what the hell I was doing. Once I realize I'm lost I'd always just go to security. And like always, whoever lost me that day would be waiting for me there. I was like that for about a couple of years. Stressful times. Don't get me wrong, my parents watched me like a hawk. I'd always sneak out from under them to do something fun. My parents would always have to pay the babysitter double if I had to be watched. Like I was such a problem child. I scared a lot of babysitters though when I got lost. Aaahhhh, those were the days.

I called my mom to tell her about the situation. She was terrified and asked if the kid was ok. I asked her what kid? Then she starting shouting and I told I was just messing with her. In actuality I didn't know where the kid was anymore. My girlfriend took him out of my site, or at least I'm hoping that's what she did. Ok I just called her, he's with her. I can't believe this. Am I that forgetful? My mom told me that I put every single gray hair on her head since the day I was born and I just put 4 more with that comment about losing the kid. She told me not to feel so bad and that it was an accident and I didn't mean to do it. But I know she was just making me feel better. I'll forget about this in the morning, JUST LIKE I FORGOT ABOUT THE KID!!!!!

This is a lesson learned for all of us. I feel smarter already. Sorry little kid and girlfriend. I'll never lose another kid again. I'm so over this now. Writing this is actually making me feel better. I think if I babysit the kid again and not lose him then things will go back to normal. I'll do it tomorrow. I'll watch the kid for 1 hour during my break from classes and he won't get lost. Nah forget it. With my bad luck I'd probably put him on a plane to Europe.

7 comments:

Kate Michele said...

Don't be so hard on yourself. When its your kid it'll be different.. a switch goes off or something...and BAM your more worried about them than whatever else there is to see!!

Beyond Me said...

Don't worry. I'm not mad. You'd make a great dad.

kimmyk said...

OH.MY.GOD.

Someone needs to hold your hand. Or you need to get one of them things like you put through your coat for gloves with the strings and clips to attach to you and a child.

Kate Michele said...

Kimmy: like the dog leash child walker thing!! The thing you wrap around you and then clip to your child....

ysfb said...

I can see it now, forgetting the kid and me driving along with the leash hanging outside the door. That will be one very bad day.

Beyond Me said...

Let's start you off with watching a doll for a day. Then you can work yourself up to a G.I. Joe in a few months. Then if you don't lose either one, then you can watch a real person on TV.

ysfb said...

my first pick is a porno