The Smallest Button to Button

My girlfriend and I broke up, again. This time it looks like it's going to be for awhile. We still "love"(what does that mean?) each other, but the long distance isn't working out. My schedule is hectic now and I barely have time to eat and then traveling to see my girlfriend is just killing both of us.

Other than that, life's been ok. Previous ex is just an acquaintance. I have nobody now! BOO HOO! Not like I have time for anybody for more than a second outing now. So I have no girlfriend and my parents are selling my childhood home and I don't even have time to sit down and process it all. Life doesn't get any better than this. But with all these disappointments, I'm not depressed, I'm upset though. Oh and I got a call from my now ex girlfriend's parents just making sure that I know that they still don't like me. Who calls just to say "I hate you"? They do. I always wondered if she came up pregnant, I would be in their lives forever! Came close but not gonna talk about it. I don't even remember why they hate me. It's not liked I streaked on their Thanksgiving table last year sheesh, but it does give me an idea for this year though. That hate call kind of made me happy though.

But I'm still upbeat. Ever since I made that post about avoiding the cops I've been a little paranoid every time I see one. I'm thinking that if a cop pulls me over I'm going to blurt out something about a few pounds of hash in my pockets and two hand fulls of cocaine in the glove department, and when he ask if I have anything else I'd say theirs also a few dead bodies in the trunk. But in reality I'd just get busted for 2 of those things, if it's a weekend maybe all 3. Speaking of drugs and dead people, I think I'm going to have a blast this weekend. We are going to the beach and sample illegal stuff probably. So my life really isn't as bad as it could be I guess or gonna be.

So that's me update. I'm still alive and kicking harder. You know, I don't think I even cursed once on this entire post. I think I'm turning a new leaf. This has gotta be the first time ever! FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!

And It Was 3:59 p.m.......

BM and I were dressed and ready to go while her parents just stayed there. They thought I wasn't serious. I was looking forward to having her father meet my knee in his face, but they got the hint. They hugged and kissed BM goodbye and didn't even give me eye contact. C'mon, don't you guys still love me? Who knows where they went, back to hell probably.

So Valentine's Day was back on. We cut the phones off and made sure it was just the two of us and not our parents or friends calling us. We went out to eat and took a walk and went back home to give out gifts. We decided to keep it really small and intimate. After the gift exchanges we or should I say she forced me to watch all these chick flicks back to back. Is it me or does Sarah Jessica Parker look like a horse? So she was practically a whore in Failure to Launch, hmmm? We then watched 50 First Dates so that was cool. Then of course came ......bedtime......sweeeeeeeeeet! Let's just say that we were plenty warm last night. I just hope BM doesn't grow up to look like her mother naked. It'll be like having sex with her mother. THE HORROR!, but how ironic. But I know she wants me.

So that was my VD. It involved her parents unfortunately but it'll be the last time they enter my place again.

A:f6

A colon f-6 started out as a nonexistent joke turned into a phenomenon. Random typing of the phrase on the internet and you'll get nothing when it was first announced. Now you type it in and you get over 200 videos on youtube and 4,950,000 searches. Started out as a Dane Cook joke about seeing a 10 year old with "A:f6" marked on their chest constantly repeating it over and over again for 10 minutes. Nothing more and nothing less. It eventually grew to a fat guy with knockers doing it. Why am I making this post? I have no fucking idea!



I vomited a little.

Her parents arrived at my parents house yesterday. My parents treated them to the finest restuarant in town and a night out. Her parents called her this morning and told her they had fun. So far so good.

Happy New Years You Drunk Bastards!

My girlfriend's parents decided they wanted to meet my parents. They called us a couple of days ago acting nice and wanting to meet my parents, so they are going up sometime in January. I'm nervous. Why now? I guess I shouldn't have mentioned the Ouija Board Seance Party on Christmas Eve. It has to be the reason why they wanna see them. They can't seem to take a joke. It's not like we saw ghosts or danced with dead people. We tried though. They think I'm a bad influence on their daughter and son. What bullshit. I just brought some darkness into their light.

This is how I see her mother after meeting my parents



lol @ "it was so dark sided!"

I really hope her mother doesn't read my blog. If she didn't hate me then, she's gonna hate me now.

Her parents are religious hipsters while my parents are for peace and love and getting high. I told my parents this morning about what happened and they think it's funny. They can't wait for them to meet them. I know it's going to end on a really bad note. Probably a few fires and gunshots. My parents have a problem of speaking they're mind to openly, as does her parents, behind your back. I guess they want to meet them to see why people call me "normal". I say it was the hair.

In other fucked up news, New Years is just gonna be New Years for us. Going nowhere special. Not in the mood to get fucked up anymore. Just going to a party with friends and getting wasted. Wasted in a responsible way.

Happy New Year Everybody!