Monday, January 08, 2007

I Can't Take It Anymore!

Here's the headlines:

U.S. targeted al Qaeda suspects in Somalia: reports

I'm not as into the politics as my buddy Firestarter is, but come on! Every fucking day you here something about Iraq or the Al Qaeda.



I'm sick of the news period. Who the fuck cares about Britney Spears and Paris Hilton showing their cooch in public, today that is. And the big news of some idiot trying to blackmail Oprah. What the fuck man? Did you actually think it was going to work? And a study that says that liquid makes up 22 percent of the American diet. Who the fuck cares! It's fucking liquid! Just give me some prune juice and I'll shit some 22 percent liquid!

Then you have the story of a green pig. Uh, what was the point of making a pig green? Now all you need is the find a green chicken and then your living the Dr. Seuss American dream.

And the Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump feud. So he called you a fat slob and who cares if she called you a degenerate. Now she claims that he's obsessed with her. I'm fucking obsessed with both of them. I have their pictures tattooed on my ass! Both cheeks!

Aaaahhhh, I feel better now. But wait! Cheney went hunting today! Everybody stop and remember the last time he went hunting.....

10 comments:

Kate Michele said...

I stopped watching the news about a year ago for this reason exactly!!

Shelli said...

You are one funny fucking bastard!! See, watchng the news with you would be like watching comedy central.

LUVIT!!
xoxoox

kimmyk said...

I stopped watching the news and just read blogs now to get my news. It's all the same lie...just spewed differently.

Beyond Me said...

I think you're off your meds again. LOL at the shitting liquids.

ysfb said...

I'm always on my meds!

Beyond Me said...

That explains the times you hit me in the face in your sleep.

ysfb said...

Imagine if you were my mother and I'd hit in the face in her sleep as a kid.

Beyond Me said...

if i was your mother, i would've lost you at toys 'r us by now

ysfb said...

I'd find youuuu

Firestarter5 said...

Just watch FOXNEWS...then at least you know you're being lied to.