Thursday, April 12, 2007

What I Want

Besides sex being the obvious, I want other things like:

  • A pet cow
  • One lane free to speed
  • One lane free to hit slow people
  • A hot meal
  • A stripper
  • The ability to Riverdance
  • Eating the worm in the Tequila
  • A beer
  • A bong
  • A beer bong
  • To sit next to Santa during the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade
  • A blow jo....oops
  • My own genie with Robin Williams as the voice
  • A pimp hat to go with my pimp walk
  • A house in the middle of the desert on stilts
  • To live in a gingerbread house
  • To be a kid again
  • Go fishing in Alaska
  • Shake hands with the pope while farting
  • A nice car
  • To kick Barney in the nads
  • To be a clown crying
  • A Vespa
  • To be in a car accident involving potato chips
  • To ask Martha Stewart to pull my finger
  • To moon Al Roker
  • To have a dislocated arm for one day
  • A giant monkey
  • Falling on a case of broken bottles
  • 2 million dollar bills. 1 to spend and one to wipe my ass.
  • To dance like THIS!
  • To shave all my hair off and glue it back
  • To have an emotional cry while watching Borat
  • To marry a sexbot
  • To set myself on fire
  • A dildo named after me
  • To kick Bill O'Reilly's ass
  • To ride a unicorn on the streets of Singapore
  • A third nipple on my forehead
  • To be Hugh Hefner's grandson
  • The ability to make gremlins come to life
  • A cameo in the Bambi movie
  • 40 acres and a mule
  • To play twister with lesbians
  • To smoke a cigarette through my throat

Once I have all of that then I will be happy. Oh, and fuck coke I want cocaine!

10 comments:

SpanishGoth said...

Ha - amateur !!!

You do not want to see my list - double dare you ;-)

And I do this shit without the drugs - fucking hell, if I took drugs I'd turn into an accountant or something shit

SpanishGoth said...

Sorry, should have said "equally shit" - too much wine and marlboros but they don't count as drugs as the fuckers are taxed

ysfb said...

Even riding the unicorn through Singapore? Now I'm curious, I double dog dare you to make a list of what you want with and without the drugs.

kimmyk said...

Me too. I double dog dare ya SpanishGoth.

Now back to you YSB.

Have you lost your flippin' mind??!! Everyone knows that's not Santa in the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade. Sheesh.

Everything else I think might be doable. Probably should start small though and work your way up. Good luck!

Beyond Me said...

i can say that you've completed about half that list already.

i love double dares! i want to see spanishgoth's drug enforced version.

SpanishGoth said...

Aw bollocks - dropped myself in the 'proverbial shit' now then haven't I?

Goddam wine *spanks naughty wines arse*

Ladyred said...

you crack me up.

a pet cow.....

Shelli said...

I wanna bong (or hooka, as i'm learning the new lingo) too!!

Oh, and I want a pony...but i've been asking for that for 20 years so i think i'm shit outta luck there.

Shelli said...

I wanna bong (or hooka, as i'm learning the new lingo) too!!

Oh, and I want a pony...but i've been asking for that for 20 years so i think i'm shit outta luck there.

ysfb said...

I'll Fed Ex a pony to you right now.