Monday, April 02, 2007

The Bloody Horror!

They got me, they got me good. I waited until midnight which was the official government time to end April Fools and went to bed. But yet they got me.

I feel so violated. When I was cuddling with my girlfriend last night I noticed that her boobs were somewhat flat and she seemed a bit muscular. I backed off a bit and looked a little closely. She seemed to have gained about 100 pounds in the middle of the night. I tried to wake her up. (She) turned around ask me what was wrong. I screamed in horror! It was my fucking brother! The bastard didn't leave yesterday!

It AAAALLLL made sense now. BM rode in the car with us to drop him off at the airport. BM insisted that we leave right away because she had to go somewhere important so I was unable to see him board the plane, DAMN IT! She had to have let him in during the night after she went to sleep in the bed with me and they switched and he put on a wig. Fucking cruel man, fucking cruel. Oh fucking gross! I cuddled with my brother! I touched his man boobs, AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! Years of therapy won't cure this moment in my life. WHY! This is just wrong!

His flight is now leaving on Wednesday. I will personally watch him board the plane. I will wait 5 hours at the airport to make sure the plane doesn't come back.

So after the many showers I took this morning, BM told me she is going to be in a pole dancing class. Very intrigued I am. I remember when I attempted to pole dance for her when the sex shop opened. I'm glad I ended my porn star dream. Well her giving me a pole dance to spice up the relationship should be fun.

10 comments:

kimmyk said...

HA! Your brother cracks me up!! Kind of gross to know you felt up your brother though. Yuck.

Kate Michele said...

LOVE it!!! They so got you and good.... they had a plan and all!! That tops what ya did to BM I gotta say!!

Beyond Me said...

ha ha! your brother was the mastermind. he had this planned since the first day he came down. all these minor pranks were just so you wouldn't see the big prank coming. we all knew about the prank, even your friends.

he told me he wouldn't have done it if he knew you were so touchy feely in bed. he told me that he kept telling himself that it's a prank, it's a prank, it's a prank, as you were touching him.

that was the funniest prank i've ever seen! can't wait until next years'!

Ladyred said...

i can't come up with anything good for april fool's. i said the "i'm pregnant" thing and well i don't really want to keep using that because then ya know it just might happen and i SO don't need that.

SpanishGoth said...

So now you can move down to Georgia and fit right in?

Started to get more worried about BM's touchy feely statement - as I have a sick mind to start with....

ysfb said...

I never thought I would be touchy feely with my brother. I told my parents what happened and they couldn't stop laughing either.

I'm sure the hate her parents have me just went up a little more being that I groped my brother.

Shelli said...

LMFAO omg that was teh best one I've heard yet. LOL
Snuggling with your brother huh? Just like the old days when u used to bathe together. nice. *gag*

I luv it.

Pole dancing? PERRRRRRRRfect! that should be exciting..

SpanishGoth said...

btw - are you turning from YSB into YODA? "Very intrigued I am" yes, my little Gothic apprentice and I am perplexed......

Beyond Me said...

maybe if he trims his hair down a bit then yoda will have a twin.

ysfb said...

Well at least people have stopped calling me a boy bander. Yoda sounds cooler anyways.