Listen To The Messages Tomorrow

Things are changing on me again. I think it's time for me to find a new path in life. I've been really tired lately. I beginning to hate a lot of things now again. I like my personal life. I hate my job and I hate school. Sounds like the usual blah blah from a guy in his twenties trying to live life. Two people today, total strangers I might add, said that I'm a destined for better things. How can two total strangers that I don't know and they probably don't know each other tell me the same exact thing at different times of the day? They didn't look crazy. They looked like totally normal people that look very intelligent. In summary they said that the life that I'm living now is like a rock I'm trying to push out of my way so that I can move up further. My family and friends have been telling me this for years but it took two strangers today for me to actually agree.

I don't know what the next step in my life is going to be. I've never been so confused over this subject before this. To be honest with you, I'm kind of scared what my next step will be. I have a strong gut feeling that my next step will be the wrong decision.

My past I feel is going to catch up with me. Each day I feel more and more like I'm drifting backwards. I don't want my old life. My old life deals with my dark days and my own attempted death. I don't think I'll go that far this time around but I know it's not going to be good. I think I just need a vacation for one month just so I can get away from everything and focus on my life and my future and which direction I want to take.

One path that I keep thinking about is just dropping everything and ..........forget about it. I'm just kind of down today. Tomorrow will be a better day.

I gotta end on a happy note. My girlfriend bought me a digital camcorder to cheer me up. That's a pretty expensive cheer up. Here's my grin world, ear to ear!