My girlfriend and I skipped class today and decided to just do whatever the hell we wanna do. We realized afterwards that Good Friday was this Friday and we didn't really have to skip class today but now we have 2 days off so fuck it back to the story.
We had $224 in both our pockets and were going to spend every last dollar. But on what? Well we were hungry so we stopped in at the Mom and Pop restaurant.
Ummmmm looks good enough to have a heart attack and die kind of meal. She had the salad. She told me that I'm gonna get fat eating like that. I've been eating like that since I was a kid. I've been skinny all my life. You'd have to pump the fat directly inside me for me to gain weight. It's time I get above 140 pounds soaking wet. So we spent a half hour eating. What rebels we are. Skipped class to have a late breakfast. We had a heart to heart talk about my ex girlfriends. Why me? I just went into the bathroom once she started. That's when I bumped into this guy who seemed to be in a rush. He told me he was headed to this protest a few miles down and asked me if I wanted to go. I told my girlfriend and she agreed so we followed this guy driving down to this area where they were protesting against President Bush. Wow, another Bush protest. They wouldn't allow my girlfriend to take pictures. There were like 20 people there protesting. Barely enough to start something. We got tired and left minutes later.
On the road again. I ran over something. I wanted to take a picture of it and post it here but it didn't look to pretty afterwards being ran over by both the front and back tires and all. She refused to get out of the car, wuss. She wouldn't even give it a proper burial. A car was coming so I had to leave it *sad face*.
We stopped at this gas station and saw another couple around the same age as us. They were "Black" *gasp*! We told them that we skipped school for breakfast and a failed protest and now we're at a gas station. They said that they skipped work for a day of just plain bullshitting. I told them that we were all like twins except for the fact that we're all 2 shades. We all made race jokes about each other for a few minutes getting laughs and stuff. We eventually had to leave because the "Gas Guy" gave us his stares. "Why they trying to mess with me! The man is always trying to bring the white man down." The other couple agreed and called us the Hee Haw of 2k6. We exchanged numbers and are having a double date Friday.
I called one of the two only black friends that I have a few minutes ago and told him that now I have 4 black friends now. He told that I'd always be a cracker to him. He knows more about me than my girlfriend does. I've known him for years. His mom makes some great Mac and Cheese. Secretly I would go to his mom's house only for the mac and cheese when he wasn't there. He told me that he would swear that I was having an affair with his mom. I would so do a MILF. She would buy the mac and cheese just for me to take home. I don't know what she puts in it but whatever it is it's heaven. I had to hide it when it got home because everybody in the house would try to eat it. Just thinking about it is getting me hungry. Guess I'll be visiting somebody over the weekend.
back to the story. So back on the road again. My tummy hurts so I ask my girlfriend to take over. I think it was the eggs I had this morning or the dirty forks they gave us. I had to puke but I didn't wanna puke in my car so I stuck my head out the window and just puked going 60 mph out the window. My girlfriend was screaming in panic when she saw and heard me. When I turned around and had puke all over my face. She stopped the car and fell out laughing. I looked in the rear view mirror and saw my face and puked again. By now my girlfriends' face was bright red by laughing so hard. I had to change clothes but we're like 2 hours away from home so she drove to the mall giggling the entire way. Of course I couldn't go inside so she went in for me and bought some clothes and body spray for me. I felt really embarrassed. By now I'm pretty sure she has already called everybody on cellphone about the situation so I'll just tell it like it is! She took pictures of me on her phone so I guess this day will never end.
I'm all funned out by now. I'm in the backseat laying down covering my ears as she plays Lindsay Lohann. Please kill me now.
She stops on the side of the road and turns the music down. I look up and see that she just got pulled over for speeding. I laugh. She told me to flash the cop so she would get out the ticket. First of all the cop was a guy and she would get a better chance of getting out the ticket if she flashed him. Then my girlfriend did the most unexpected thing I've ever seen her do. She lifted her shirt over her head exposing her chest. The cop hasn't got out of his car yet so I just stared wondering what the fuck is she doing? I wish I took a picture of how she looked. She tried to pull the shirt back down before the cop came up to the window but her shirt got stuck on her earring. So here we were trying to get my girlfriends' shirt unhooked before the cop came by, but it was too late. So the cop went to the window and looked at her and looked at my puzzle face and started laughing. He said he was going to cite her for speeding but this is punishment enough. He laughed and went back to his car. Now if this isn't justice I don't know what is. This was definitely karma for her laughing at me. She had to take the entire shirt off to get it off her earring. Do you know how hard it was for not to laugh? She finally broke and laugh too.
It's about time we call it a day. So now I'm here telling you her story since she's telling everybody my story. We'll never skip school again!!!!!!
Except on days we just don't feel like going!
