Girlfriend Is Trying To Kill Me

I'm here at home sick, well getting better. Food poisoning. As soon as I vomited I told my girlfriend that she was trying to kill me with her food. I later realized it was something I had at the store. So she was back on the no speaking terms. I had to buy fucking flowers. I hate giving/getting flowers/candy. Life sucks enough, why make it smell good?

So she is speaking to me now. She's making dinner again tonight. I like this new attention I'm getting. It's like I'm dying of cancer and I don't even know about it. I bought some pepto bismol just in case.

Besides the random killings of me from my girlfriend things are getting back to normal. My 2nd oldest brother is coming to stay with us next week for a few days. I haven't really talked about him here that much. Who knows what things he has planned for us. And I'm still wondering why he wants to visit me? I know he's family and all but why? I bet he's had a sex change and goes by the name Rhonda instead of Ron. He's gonna kick my ass for that.

As you can see I'm bored. What can I talk about.......I got a haircut. I cut all the sides and the back off and I have it somewhat spiked. Doesn't make sense does it, but hey, it sounded like a good idea at first. I now where hats now until it grows back.

Yadda Yadda Yadda. Lets get personal.......I'll save that for a later post.....It has to with my ....s. Five letters and its above the knees. I'll do it on the next post. Feel free to get disgusted now before I post the story. It's a guy thing.