Sex Toys

I really need to stop being bored. My mind starts going places. A new sex shop opened up in our neighborhood and we thought it would be cool to look at what they have.

When we got there, the store smelled of sex. We were surrounded by porno. I felt like I was in my "special dream" again. She found some Butt Plugs. I told her that nothing is going near or is being inserted in my ass! She just got a kick out of it. She was imaging it in me while I was asleep. I told her that if you ever insert that shit in me while I'm asleep I will kick you out the window.

We found some cool candles and decided to buy some.

We saw this sex game too. It was kind of a choose your desire thing. You would pick a card and the other person would do it to you. We saw this other couple looking at the same thing and they asked us if we would join them in the game. They reeked of 24 hour sex. We tried to play it off by saying we weren't looking at the game by trying to find something else ... we tried looking around but all we saw were nipple clamps and penis balloons and just gave up and said yeah the game. My girlfriend grabbed my arm tight and nearly broke it. I assumed that was code for "no". So they gave us their "fucking business card", it actually said Fucking Business Card. We just broke out laughing. The card said that they are professionals at sex and will always be "inside" when you need them. We just said ok and walked backwards towards the other side of the store.

I found some nipple tassels for my girlfriend. She called me an ass.

We found some Booby popsicles and Booby Cake Pans, we were like kids in an adult candy store.

We got some Spanish Fly to see if it really works.

I found a dildo and I "assumed" that she would want it. She called me a perverted asshole and she put in the cart. But it fell out and I just had to say it. "Excuse me miss, is this your dildo here, yes you lady, the one covering her face. You dropped your dildo, it says it gives lasting pleasure to......." she then grabbed me and pulled me further back in the store. We all got a good laugh, well all the customers and I did.

I can just see my mom reading this and grabbing her heart.

Well we bought some cds and some movies and some....stuff, minus the butt plugs. I had to buy the tassels. Everything cost a fortune. Who knew sex would be so expensive. The clerk told us to have a fun filled evening. He ran out the store shouting you forgot your license. We could've sworn he was going to say dildo instead.

We popped in this video when we got home to see what it would be like. It taught us how to dance sexy for your lover. Everytime they said lover they would say it really sensual. We couldn't stop laughing. When the video ended I tried to dance for her. She really liked it. I swear, if there was a hidden video camera somewhere recording me, I will fucking kill everybody that had to do with it! I asked her to dance for me and she declined but she eventually broke and did it too. She was great. We were great. We were thinking of taking up professional stripping since we were so damn good. She was kidding but I was serious. If I actually gained some weight and built up my muscle I could be the next Fabio minus the steroids. But we had to stop and we both had to go to work. We'll see how the night goes when she comes back.