A Guys Guide to PMS

1. First of all the thing you need to do is plan to have off those days AT LEAST A MONTH IN ADVANCE! But call very early in the morning to tell her hello and be in a rush.

2. If you unfortunate enough to have to actually be there then read the steps below.

3. Never buy her food no matter if it's healthy or not.

Example:

a. Why did you bring me this! Do you think I'm so fat that I love to eat! Do
want to give me a heart attack! Don't make love to me because I might suffocate you with all my fat!

b. Oh so you bought me salad. Do you think I need to lose some weight! Is my
ass to fat for you! Do you like your other girlfriends ass! Are you cheating
on me?! If so I won't get mad. Do you like me anymore? I always knew you hated me! It's over! I can't stand you, I hate you! How can you cheat on me? So how long has it been going on? Is it the dress? Because I can change for you. No! You are going to change for me! Is it my hair? Go to hell! I'm going to kill you and your whore in your sleep.

You see how a simple offer of salad turns into you calling her fat and cheating on her and then ending with her planning on killing you in your sleep without you even saying a word.........Don't buy the salad.

4. Never invite people over. Let her do the inviting. If she gets her girlfriends to come over then your just screwed because they will make you want to commit suicide. And you can't leave. Once you're there your screwed. They will pick at you like vultures at a road kill.

5. Don't buy anything for her unless she wants you to get her something. Everything you buy will never be good enough and will always work against you.

6. It's best you turn off your cell phone. Don't want her to think your cheating on her do you?

7. Don't act like a wuss around her. You are still in control of the situation. She will torture you but you have to be strong.

8. Do whatever she wants you to do within reason. Say NO sometimes and she'll respect you. Don't constantly say NO or she'll kill you.

9. Clean up around the house. Saying this always work: "You know, I think I'm going to clean the bathroom and the bedroom right now, just call me if you need anything my love.

10. Buy a puppy.


It's funny how I chose blood red to write this post in.......

..............all this is coming from a guy who has experienced a lot of girlfriends during that time of the month.