No Rest For The Best

What a week! And not a single bit of it involved having sex with my girlfriend. I was planning on seeing her this past weekend but things got a little crazy. Let me start at the beginning.

Last Thursday, I met up with crazy voodoo chick. I explained about the whole voodoo doll thing and she told me it came across the wrong way. So blah blah, she's not trying to kill me. She invites me to go with her and her friends to this place downtown. Once there we drink and talk and I drink some more. I started talking about this total asshole at work and one of the guys knows him. Turns out that they are friends but distant friends. We start talking about pulling a prank on him. As we start talking, the prank sounds good and clean, but now I'm glad it turned out clean and legal, but I'm sure at least 3 laws were broken. The way I thought it was going to go was somewhat different from what he thought it was going to go. He was simply to just scare the guy and leave. So here comes Friday, my bags are packed and I'm ready to see my girlfriend when I get back from work. So I'm at work waiting for the prank and right on time it happens, sort of. The old friend meets my asshole coworker. Asshole coworker is a little shocked to see him but I think nothing of it. Now old friends starts shouting at coworker for some money that he owes him. I think, ok, somewhat off track but ok. Coworker tells him that he doesn't have the money, so distant friend pulls a knife out on the coworker. Now I realize the prank has seemed to take a slight deviation. I try to reason with him not to do it but he tells me that it was me that told him to meet him here. So coworker begins to sob wondering why I would do this to him. All I could say was I don't know. Then coworker starts to laugh and everybody starts to laugh. Turns out that distant friend is actually best friends and the whole fucking room new about the plan! I was tempted to take that knife from him and start going psycho on everybody but I think that's a rule against that somewhere in the handbook. So I had to ask who else knew about it. He told me voodoo chick didn't know but he knew that I worked with his friend so he devised a plan or what he called it, an "initiation" to become part of the group. What could I say? "Fuck You" would be too obvious so I just left early realizing that it was a good prank no matter how fucked up it was.

So a little shaken I was the rest of the day. So now I come home ready to go see my girlfriend but I can't. My parents leave a message on my machine wanting me to call them as soon as possible. I call them and they want me to come down for the weekend for a big announcement. I ask if they can just tell me or e-mail it or something but they said that I have to be here. Now I'm wondering what could my parents be planning for that I have to go there for? So I call my girlfriend and tell her that I can't make it. She cries, I cry and I drink some beer until I pass out. I leave early Saturday morning and arrive their before 12 still asleep. I'm wondering all the way there, what could it be, could my Mom and Dad be getting a divorce, could they be giving me a trillion dollars. So I get there and my parents are in good spirits so I assume that everything is ok. I see my sister and my two brother and notice that I'm the last one there. They are as shocked and unknowing about the situation too. So once we are all there they tells us that for months they've been trying to get it us all together but we would always say we can't make it. So they took it upon themselves to get us together to be together. I laugh because they can't be serious. Mom gave me the look. We all thought that something bad has happened. My brother thought that one of them had cancer and they wanted to bring to us together. But there was actually more. My parents are selling the house and moving west. Now that got out attention. The house has so many memories. Home won't be the same anymore now. I went out with my brothers to the bar and noticed the millions of messages from my girlfriend wondering what happened. So I told her about it.

It was good having a big Sunday breakfast with whole family. They even dragged me to church. I think I saw angels crying as I stepped inside. When we got home we had a big dinner. If I didn't live so far away, I would go there every day. We talked about the things that happened in the house and how they chose the house. My sister was a wreck the entire time.

I called into work Monday citing emotional distress so I can stay a little longer. I got back in Wednesday morning and went to work this afternoon. I got a oh so cute hand drawn picture of me on my desk labeled pansy. But I was just too focused on the house being sold. But I'm still planning on getting the bastards back. For now, I'm avoiding voodoo child and her minions of evil doer friends.

I miss my girlfriend. Sex just isn't the same. And ohhhhhh the painful wet dreams. Every single morning, my crotch, my crotch, my crotch. I need to sleep with an ice pack on my crotch. Well enough about my crotch, how's everybody else doing? I'm way behind on check everybody's blog. I'll check them out tomorrow.