Where's My Four Leaf Clover?

The popular president of one of Atlanta's most prestigious prep schools gave a rousing talk to the faculty about the new year. Hours later, he apparently jumped to his death from the eighth floor of a hotel.

Yesterday in my support group, we were told to write something that we plan on doing a year from now and speak about it. I didn't care about what I will be doing next year. All I wanted to do is just be happy. It's a goal I think is achievable. A couple of days ago I was just cleaning up some things, I ran across an old newspaper that I had kept. I kept the article about my friend's accident from awhile back and it just brought back all these bad memories. The memories were good but the fact that he is dead just made them bad. Then I got angry at myself for keeping something like that. This whole fascination with death is all I think about. Like the quote above about they guy who committed suicide and nobody suspected him to be depressed. I read the article over and over again. Just reading about their life and how it seems perfect on the outside but deep inside their was nothing but deep hurting emotion. The story kind of bummed me out. He had the perfect life with a wife and kids and a great job. He was on top of the world. He even gave a big motivational speech just hours before his death. I don't know if it was the story or not but somehow I don't see myself lasting much longer. The group and friends are helping and I think it's working but I just don't see a bright future. That light at the end of my tunnel is still faint.

I'm going back to school soon because I've changed majors. I want to do something that I want to do and not something everybody else wants me to do. I'll be doing school full time and a job full time so I won't have time to think about all this negative stuff. I'm hoping everything goes right for me after I graduate. I don't have anymore room in my life for another downfall.

One leaf is for FAITH ...............The second for HOPE
The third for LOVE....................And the fourth for LUCK