It's Fucking New Years Eve!!!!

Some of my cousins and all of my friends are meeting at The Heartland Brewery. Since the family get together wasn't too far away from the city we decided to go. It's a great fucking place. I don't even think I'm going to Time Square. And even if the pub sucks there is a club near by for us to go to afterwards. I'll be totally crazy this weekend but I have to be back to normal by Monday morning for work. I probably won't be able to blog for the next couple of days. I'm planning on doing something to myself that I've never done before. I don't know what it is yet but I'm gonna do it!

Happy New Years You Bunch of Drunken Assholes!!! from the sick bastard himself.

I'm Sick, I Don't Wanna Play Anymore!

First of all, booze and Ipecac do not mix. Hey let's all play a game. Let's drink beer in one hand and ipecac in one hand and see who can last the longest without throwing up. I got 2nd place beating some guy in the bar. Alex was the champion. I couldn't smell a thing for hours. It is by far the worst thing you can ever do. Just the smell of anything got me vomiting. And after that I was dry heaving for hours. I just woke up like 3 hours ago and still I feel fucked up. I think it's just the hangover now. I guess I'm over the no drinking thing now. My girlfriend left the bar before the contest started. She felt that "it was immature and sick", but that is exactly what I am, immature and sick. But would I do it again? HELL YEAH!!!!! Of course the after effects are pretty fucking terrible but the rush of everything before is great. I highly recommend it.

I "Heart" Tampons

Now I don't like getting into debates with my mom especially about TAMPONS!!!! My girlfriend had to bring up the whole tampon thing to my mom. I was the only guy there and I was surrounded by angry females. There was no getting out of this one so I went to the store and bought all the ladies tampons to show that I can do it. The cashier did give me a weird look when I brought up over 50 packages of tampons to the register. When I got back I told them I did this once and I'm never buying anybody any tampons ever again. Other than that I'm just chilling and relaxing on my break.

I'll let my mom explain the situation below:


My son shouldn't be ashamed when he buys anything that is personal to a woman. I make his father go out and buy me all sorts of things personal and he does exactly what I say because we have that kind of close relationship that has gone on for years and will continue to go on for more. And thanks for buying us all tampons . Smile!


Never again! I'm not going to be like my dad and continue to buy that kind of stuff. If I'm with my girlfriend then sure I'll buy them for her and that will be the only time I'll do that. I will never touch a fucking tampon! That's just plain sick man!

Road Trip

Me, my brother and my girlfriend all borrowed my aunt teresa's car to visit Cousin Ralph at his job. I asked my brother to smile just once, one smile is all I asked and gave me this look. I guess he's still pissed from this morning when I threw freezing water on him to wake him up, but he pushed me in the lake yesterday so I had to get him back. I guess we both have sick humor. I had his picture posted but he "didn't like the way he looked", so I took it down.

Well here is a picture of alex and his coworkers or groupies.

Christmas Stories That Scare Kids!

Christmas isn't Christmas unless you tell real life murder stories. When you have a family of cops you kind of have to listen to their stories of unsolved murders and crime scene pictures.

They were talking about how somebody gutted another guy and left his insides to fall through if he moved, and of course the guy moved and a flood of guts started coming out. I listened for hours. All the women were disgusted and went into the other room to watch Must Love Dogs. The kids were hiding everywhere trying to listen to the stories.

They were trying to top the other story by coming up with the sickest most twisted story. I guess I have an extended family of sick bastards.

GUEST SPEAKER -- -- -- -- Aunt Teresa

I am new to this blogging thing so I really don't know what to write. My nephew is a great kid and his girlfriend is beautiful. After reading what he just wrote I'm kind of worried about him. But I know he can handle himself and is a good boy. I wish the best of luck to him and his family and a Happy New Year.

After reading what she just wrote I'd have to kill myself from the boredom ha ha ha ha ha ha no.

Christmas Accident

My cousin -- not the drunk one -- got a new car today. I was riding with him checking out the area and he crashed it into a parked car. How can you crash a car into a parked car? I'll tell you how. Checking out the local girls will do that. Not me of course I already have a girlfriend......Well he crashed it and I spilled my drink. Good thing it wasn't my car and that I didn't live there because I wouldn've never lived it down. My cousin has rich parents so they'll take care everything no problem, the lucky bastard.

cousin ralph "the car accident kid":

It was just a small accident just a couple of hundered. No worries.

Santa's Got A Gun

I can't sleep. The parents are here sneaking out putting presents under the christmas tree. I never believed in santa. how can a fat man go from house to house and eat every cookie and still be gone by daylight. he would've had a heart attack and died by the time he got to the third house. my cousin is here trying to get me to drink but i can't because i hate beer but this is the 2nd bottle i had so far so i'm not caring at all. my girlfriend is passed out, the wuss. i can hear the parents giggiling. i wonder what santa got me for christmas! more socks i hope! well i'm going to go drink myself to sleep. find some egg nog and mix it with something -- my dad taught me. merry christmas everybody. wish santa some luck for getting his fat ass out your chiminey.

cousin alex:

im so wasted right now

The Upcoming Family Get Together?

This will be the first time the entire family -- brothers, sisters, cousins, uncles, aunts and so on will all be together this holiday season. I of course will be the last arriving on Christmas Eve night. My long lost brother will be there with his wife and kids and we will be one big "happy" family. I actually can't wait. This is going to be something really really big since this has never happened before. We all pitched in to get this condo for the entire weekend and up to January 2. It's a lot of flying and driving for everybody so I'll be piss tired.......ha ha i said piss.

We will have tons of food and tons of presents and tons of drunk family members getting wasted before the party actually starts. I'm taking my laptop with me just in case I want to blog something but I really doubt I would wanna do that while I'm having fun. My girlfriend and her family is even coming along, so I'll have to keep the pen inside the holder for the entire stay there. *sad face*

If I don't blog something before Christmas, I'd like everybody to have a great Christmas and don't forget to buy alcohol before the liquor store closes.

Kimmyk: Here's My Top 5 Weird Habits

5. I can't leave anything unfinished. I have to finish it before I leave.

4. I have to sleep with a blanket are something thick no matter what season it is.

3. I sleep in the nude all the time. I can't stand anything on me when I sleep.

2. I never date a girl as soon as I break up with another one. I give it exactly 20 days until I actually will pursue interest in the opposite sex.

1. I refuse to buy anything thats feminine. My ex girlfriends always want me to buy tampons or uuuuggggg I can't even say it, or something that's personal. I tell them I just can't do it. Just the thought of touching it. But I can pick up a giant bug and squish it in between my fingers and not even care but just holding a feminine product just creeps me out, thinking of where it goes.....I just can't do it!

Next Step

I'm thinking of asking my girlfriend to move in with me. She's been hinting at it for weeks now. She spends most of her time here anyways so making it official sounds like it would work. I know she reads this blog so I know she is going to comment on it.....

I've never asked a girl to live with me. I was always afraid they would make duplicate keys to my place just in case the relationship goes sour......like THAT ever happens to me.......and get angry and trash my things or even worse, sneak inside and lay beside me staring at me holding a knife.

Will she change me? Before you know it she'll want me to change my haircut and my clothes. But I don't wanna change my haircut and clothes. I like me as I am! Well time will tell. Any suggestions?

Deadly

Touch my face,
Touch your face,
I kiss you,
Can you feel me,
Feel my breath on your face,
You make me want you more,
I hurt to be without you,
You put your hands on my face,
I melt to the touch,
You push me,
It hurts me to know you,
I like to forget you,
I want you to forget me,
I cry at the site of your beauty,
Do you see what you've done to me,
I can't live,
You can't live,
If I can't have you,
No one can have you,
Dare I say,
Dare you hurt me,
I've been killed a million times,
And you've killed me each time,
The passion,
The love,
The hurt,
It's all worth it,
As we merge into one person,
Our souls connect,
You glide your fingers upon my chest,
I glide my fingers down your back,
You whisper love & hate in my ear,
I kiss you,
You kiss me,
As you rise,
I fall,
Is this a dream,
I can't be alive,
Nothing can feel this good,
Shhh she tells me as if she heard me,
Her body moves like the wind,
She doesn't speak,
Her hair blows up in the air,
She begans to cry,
She is an angel,
She closes her eyes,
I close my eyes,
The room goes silent,
I open my eyes and she's gone,
Dare I say,
To my love,
Did we ever belong,
I come to know,
She's been dead for many years,
Looking around for help,
Nobody is listening,
She stabbed herself with a dagger,
I stab myself with her poisen dagger,
I die beside her.
Dare I say,
Is this the end,
I wake up,
She has killed me,
As her angel like hands pulls the knife out,
I whisper I love you,
She stabs and kills herself,
Dare I say,
It's too late,
The angel has killed us once again.

Me so horny, Me Love You Long Time

I just watched 40 year old virgin and I thought it was the funniest movie ever. Well that's it for today. i have a headache.

FleshWound: Edited Version

She has a bullet in her pocket. She wants to use it but something holds her back. She buys the gun to satisfy or thirst for revenge but can't figure a way to pull the trigger. She is depressed and wantings nothing to do with her family. Her life is ruined now.

But life is something that comes and goes so what is one more life added to a statistic, one more .5 added to a statistic. Is that what we are considered a half of a percent. I realize that life isn't worth the pain and downfalls of growing up. They say things will get better but I realize that they haven't been getting any better. They've been getting worse. I curse the day I was born. I wish something would end it all for me. Perhaps a stray bullet or just something that accidently kills me. Yeah that's it, an accident.

But what's the point of it all. Living in hell and breathing it's fire just fuels your rage for everything. Come home from another bad day and you just want to die knowing tommorrow will be the same if not worse. There is no such thing as a good day. Playing with a gun I found as a kid, it seems to be my only friend left. I turned everybody away from me. I didn't mean to do it but I guess in my mind I wanted them to distance themselves from me so that my death wouldn't be so hard.

I can almost taste it. It's satisfying yet hard to figure out. How will I do it? Will I just shoot myself, hang myself, throw myself over a bridge or jump in front of a moving car? If another person is involved than how will they live their life. Would it drive them over the edge?

As I gradually look at the objects in front of me in the bathroom I start thinking back. Back to a life less fortunate. You never see things like that on TV. Days I wish I didn't have to come back home from school. Knowing that when I came home that the pain was taking a year off your life each day. Afraid of doing something wrong. Terrified of spilling the milk on the floor again. I was only six but I guess I deserved it. I shouldn't have been drinking the milk that day. It never happened again. They made sure it didn't by getting a hammer and hitting each finger then. I never touched it again. I couldn't hold it anymore. I couldn't feel my fingers for days. They took me to the doctor a couple of weeks later saying it was an accident. Accident? The word that is the easy way out.

As I grew up I just kept the pain inside and just let it build up to what I am now. Emotionally detached from everything I ever liked. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't dream of a better life because I never knew what one ever was. I've seen pictures but they are just actors hiding the true emotion of hate. I am hate. I am the wrong person to talk to. I am the person you see on TV that you feel sorry for. I am the person with the headphones wearing all black sitting in the corner standing still. I am the one you are glad you don't know so that when I die you don't have to care.

I'm back from my flashback. I pickup the half empty prescription pills I was taking for the past few years. I swallow them all but just gag on them and vomit the rest. Another unsucessful suicide attempt. "At first you don't succeed, dust yourself off and try again", is what they always say. As I pick up my next device for killing myself I see a faded picture of me and a girl located on top of the rusty medicine cabinet. I squint as if I'm trying to understand it. It's a happy memory I had. She was my first girlfriend. We were happy but our parents hated each other and definetly hated her. Her parents eventually moved away because of that and pretty much made me even more rotten inside. I never saw her again and I continued to hold my hatred inside.

But I must find her. Maybe we should be together and maybe that will help me. I can change. I willing to put a smile back on my face. I can be normal for everybody. I search for days and finally find out where they moved to. Her parents died in a car accident 2 months after they moved, which after finding that out I felt it was my fault. If we never met then her parents would still be alive. After they are killed, nobody in the family wants her so she is put up for adoption. She now lives miles away from me but I'm willing just to find out how she would react to me.

When I'm at her house a stranger to me opens the door. I ask if the girl lived here and she said that she ran off days ago and they haven't seen her nor care where she is. Lost again I feel like death again.

!!!!!!BANG!!!!!!

I fall to the ground. I look up briefly and its the girl I was looking for. Everything goes dim and I exhale my last breath with a smile. A note that I wrote glides off my cold dead fingers down the sidewalk. It glides towards her and she picks it up. She reads it:

You probably don't remember me but I remember you, now. After I had a life full of pain and thoughts about killing myself, I came across a picture of us together and happy and just that picture turned my life around. I was hoping to meet you today but since your're reading this note it must mean that I am gone. Hopefully this letter will bring us together but if not, I would just be happy again to see your face. I'll come back later to see if you got my note. Goodbye.

She looks at the gun and falls to the ground crying. She was saving that bullet in her pocket planning on killing herself. She hesitated for years but the person that she felt ruined her life was at her door and she felt that by killing me would ease the pain.

She never forgot me but her soul was consumed by her revenge to kill me. After she read the note she realized that it was too late to stop it. She ran to my lifeless body holding me crying and screaming. The one person that ruined her life could've been the person to also make her life happy again, and so did I. But it's too late now. Both lives will never be the same.

the end.

Burn The Dishwasher Down!

I hate my dishwasher. But I finally got it working, the mother fucking piece of hell spawn sent from below to give me more hell! but i got it fixed.

FleshWound: The Prequel

It's been awhile since I really posted something from my "heart". The last thing really was the My Favorite Suicide post months back. FleshWound is something I've been working on for a long long time. I was working on FleshWound before I did My Favorite Suicide. It just kind of branched off FleshWound and became it's own story.

FleshWound is really morbid and deals with everything My Favorite Suicide dealt with but 10 times as grahpic. I like writing stories especially morbid ones, so don't be surprised at this one. It will probably be completely posted in a couple of days.

For now here is a picture.

Blogging In Under 1 Minute!

Making a quick post about the weekend with my brother. we had---strippers---camping---got drunk for first time in a long long time---saw ex girlfriend throwing up in the guys bathroom.....really creeped out that she was in the guys bathroom and not the fact that she was puking----apparently i got crazy and started stripping on top of the table.....didn't believe them but they had pictures......still didn't believe them......they had me on video.......trying to dispose of all of the evidence of me showing my ass without my knowledge-----all that under a minute!

The Little Girl Will Grow Up To Be A Whore

Now that's a strong title. The title is basically a comment on the video you see below. The video gets me everytime because shit like this happens everyday but yet nobody does anything about it. This video is too true to reality. If you haven't seen it before just rewind it and look at it all the way through.

After I change the video below you can click on "The Video" to get it.

The video is really emotional so if you're weak hearted I wouldn't suggest looking below.
.......

The Video

Ok your back. Too bad it's the edited version because after watching you feel so raw afterwards and the unedited version makes you feel even worse.....and yet I'm recommending it?

How the daughter witness everything from her mother stripping to her mother being raped and not even feeling shocked by it as if it always happen. She will grow up and do the same thing and so will her daughter. When will things like this end.

When you see a woman who clearly is a whore taking her kids wherever she goes you just feel disgusted on how the fuck she would do that to her own child.

And at the end the mother tells them that she wouldn't change a thing in her life. How fucked up is that. Makes you want to call the cops and have her whore ass arrested. But of course she's an actress and this really didn't happen but hey, stuff like this happens everyday yet the media overlooks it because its depressing:

"Today a woman was killed after an unknown assailant attacked her in her hotel room while her daughter watched but that's depressing let's talk about the Cookie Baking Contest."


My brother never watched this video before but ended up crying after watching it. I'll post tomorrow about the "weekend of idiots" we all had.