Santa's Got A Gun

I can't sleep. The parents are here sneaking out putting presents under the christmas tree. I never believed in santa. how can a fat man go from house to house and eat every cookie and still be gone by daylight. he would've had a heart attack and died by the time he got to the third house. my cousin is here trying to get me to drink but i can't because i hate beer but this is the 2nd bottle i had so far so i'm not caring at all. my girlfriend is passed out, the wuss. i can hear the parents giggiling. i wonder what santa got me for christmas! more socks i hope! well i'm going to go drink myself to sleep. find some egg nog and mix it with something -- my dad taught me. merry christmas everybody. wish santa some luck for getting his fat ass out your chiminey.

cousin alex:

im so wasted right now