I Feel Better Dead

Rising above the past and still feel like your falling. Seeing you upsets me. I can't get you out of my mind but I have to forget. How can I forget? How can I forget something that plagues me. I wake up with it, I go to sleep with it and now I must live with it. You will never know because you have never cared. I hope you're happy now. My life is ruined while yours is as always....carefree. But you can't be mad. I can be mad though. I have no place to go home to. It feels as if you have raped me and left me to die in the gutter you call your arms, but yet I can't stop holding on. Rugged and destroyed, tragic and eternal, confused and gone. Bittersweet kisses and thorn like nails. You scratched my back with those claws during sex. I can still feel them. I sipped the poison of your love and I will die slowly. Remember this. Because I found I way to forget. Contemplating falling off the tallest building in the biggest city with the less feeling. I will feel pain shortly, but then I will feel better dead.