Therapy

Hello, my name is Sick Fucking Bastard and I have a problem. I can't stop trying to die.

I found a help group. I've been appointed a suicide counselor. Each newbie gets to have an experienced member to help them out. My suicide counselor has tried to commit suicide only 4 times so I'm in good hands. He was telling me how he tried killing himself by jumping in front of cars to slitting his wrists. He told me that the repeated failed attempts made him realize that he needs to stay alive for something. Everytime I feel like death, I'd give him a call at any time of day to talk or come over. He told me he has his bad days but just thinking about what he always wanted to do keeps him pushing. He was telling me about his life and it's really messed up. His father killed his mother and none of his family wanted him so he was sent to foster homes and did drugs. The last time he felt the urge of death was when his father wrote a letter to him from prison apologizing for not being there for him. He said that it just brought back bad memories. His father sent the letter years ago and he hasn't seen or talked to his father since he was a kid. He has is own personal demons to get over. If I was in his shoes I don't know if I can ever forgive him.

Other than that news, my life on the other hand isn't as bad as his seems to be. I'm in better spirits now, BECAUSE I'M IN THERAPY! I'll come out this stronger, or die trying, sorry suicide humor. My first day was yesterday. With everybody telling their story of what was hurting them so much made me feel pain. It felt really uncomfortable, but emotion came over me and I was able to tell them the things that was hurting me. It felt really good to talk to strangers that are going through the same thing I'm going through. We have the meeting everyday at the same time so I'll try to go to as many as I can.