fed up

With the recent event in the news of a kid committing suicide after he says that he feels like his death would be a burden no more for his family and friends kind of reminded me of somebody, myself. You sometimes just feel like not being here will rid you of all your problems. Of course you would say that committing suicide would be a selfish thing to do to your family and friends but you wouldn't know how much hurt a person has inside to feel like taking their own life. Can you imagine it, a person wanting to just kill themselves? That's a big and final conclusion to a life. It's not something somebody acts on a whim. They think long and hard about the decision and the after effects to the people that care about them. The problem with me is that I'm not sad at one thing, I'm sad at everything. I'm unhappy at everything I do. I can't even fake a smile anymore. At sometime you get to the point of your life and wonder what am I doing this for? I'm running out of words to say. I fucking hate my life and everything thats in it. I feel like I can't stand everything. I wish I could turn back the hands of time and unmeet the people that would contribute to my fuck up of a life and never see them again. What's the point of even trying anymore when you know your past was full of fuck ups so why won't the future would be more fuck ups. I'm just one giant fuck up.