Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Guilty Pleasures

Reading my ex's blog I find out she is starting to date other people. She thinks that I might be mad if she does it but I don't really care. It doesn't bother me at all. I'm just worried that I will zone out for a few hours and wake back up seeing me punching this random guy in the face, but no worries. But in all seriousness, I don't care.

I'm going to let my guard down and start accepting numbers again. I'll use my sick bastard charm to get the ladies. Who can resist me? I'm adorable in a gremlin sort of way. I'm going to have to actually brush my hair, OH THE HUMANITY!

So to the the guilty pleasure. I really want an iPhone. I'm not a gadget guy but this thing fucking rocks! maybe. I don't have one yet. Being that the cheapest one is "only" $500, I'll just wait. Plus I can see myself running it over in my car, then making the car roll back over me for spending $500 on something so small. So until then, I'll spend my $500 on something useful, like a Paris Hilton CD.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Accidents Do Happen

I ran into a parked car while rollerblading this weekend. It all happened so fast. I was talking to a friend while going backwards and I didn't even notice the car behind me. The whole scene looked worst than it really was. The car was almost untouched when I nearly flipped over the trunk area. I hurt my leg pretty bad. I should've known that rollerblading in complete darkness in the middle of the night while going backwards isn't so smart. I also hit my head kind of hard. Everybody was saying that I was going to die if I go to sleep. I did have to sit down for awhile. They eventually took me to the hospital and let me out about a hour later. No worries. Just a slightly sprained ankle and just a bump on the head. Now if it was a moving car that hit me that would've been hilarious but probably fatal story.

My ex got the last of the stuff out of the apartment this weekend. My place is starting to look more masculine again. We had some beer and talked about life. She got mad at me because I started talking more personal now that I did when we were together, go figure. She told me that she got offered a job here also so she might end up staying. I didn't want to overreact and be like "Wow, really"! So I acted all cool and said "hmmm" and drunk some more beer.

I almost forgot it was Father's Day so when I called my dad to tell him happy father's day, I was a little buzzed. But he got my gift and card a few days earlier. He thinks I'm becoming an alcoholic for drinking so early on a Sunday. I told him I only drank because I was tired. And he said he could only imagine how much I drank when I'm full of energy. Kegs of beer dad, kegs.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

The Sickness Is Returning

Their is like a million things going on in my life now but I just don't feel happy enough to talking about it. My ex girlfriend and I are still going to be friends. We've decided that if we are single on Christmas Eve we were going to crash at her parents house, just to piss them off.

Living the single life is quiet. I get to hang out as late as I want. I can get drunk and throw up anywhere now. What I do miss is the sex. One night stands are dangerous. You'll wake up in a bathtub covered in ice with a kidney missing. Or you just get an USTD. An Unidentified Sexually Transmitted Disease would be my luck.

I did watch a movie recently that a person in my condition probably shouldn't have watched. It's called "The Bridge". It's documentary about the families and friends of the people who committed suicide on the Golden Gate Bridge during 2004. In some sense, it feels relaxing but then you hear the stories of the survivors and the friends of the victims, you feel somewhat bad. One father had a big argument with his son the night before so he told him he wants him to go to work with him that morning after at fear that the son would do something. The son told his father that he wasn't going to do anything and he shouldn't worry. So the father left him by himself. The son did go out to the bridge to commit suicide. Sobbing all the way to the bridge and at the final railing and at the moment of release, he decided he didn't want to kill himself, but it was too late. He'd already let go. He thought if he landed feet first then he might survive, and he did. A few broken bones from a near death experience changed his life. Now he has to take pills twice a day and be out by 10 pm. He said that everybody walks on egg shells around him because they are afraid they'll say the wrong thing. He said he wants to be normal again but it will never be the same again. One guy they were showing throughout the film walking back and forth on the bridge. They were talking to his friends and family and you knew all about his life. At some point you think that he was one of the survivors, but you see him stand on the top of the railing and just fall backwards off the bridge. This movie was definitely a wake up call and leaves a lasting impression. Bridges are definitely crossed off my list.

On a brighter note, I got asked out! I feel like a schoolboy again! But I had to turn her down. I'm not ready to start dating again. Dealing with the awkward phase of the first date of trying to impress each other. I don't care really, I just stick my hands down my pants and tell 'em what you see is what you get. If they don't run out the room then they're a keeper.

Going rollerblading tomorrow night. We think it's safer to skate in the park at night. We'll attach flashlights and bells to each other so we can laugh at people when the run into each other, aahh memories.

Well I'm out. I'm meeting my ex for lunch in a couple of hours.

Friday, June 08, 2007

Sorta Back

Got back a few days ago. Didn't really feel much like blogging.

Well the trip was fun. The highlight has to be being waken up by my brother to run and take the wheel half asleep. Then suddenly realizing we were being pulled over.

His girlfriend wasn't the Sasquatch I was expecting, but she was so fucking annoying. One minute she's happy then the next minute she's psycho. Perhaps one day of this is expected but for weeks! She broke up with him during the trip. He said they do it all the time. I assumed she was serious the night she got off the RV and left. Me and BM really didn't want to convince her to stay. So it was just the three of us for the other half of our journey. My brother kind of was expecting her to be back home when he got back home..........which she was.

Being in a RV with your girlfriend for hours and hours, you tend to talk. And you know how I don't like to talk much about "feelings". One thing led to another and we just stopped talking to each other for days. Then we got in argument after argument about everything and we just broke it off. It was anger just building up between the both of us that just blew up at the wrong time, and saying things we didn't want to say. With my own stress and her stress of trying to deal with it was ruining the relationship. So it's over between us.

We agreed that we still want to be friends but right now we can't stand the sight of each other. That's one reason why the trip had to be stopped. The whole scene was uneasy. When we got back, she stayed the night (I slept on the couch) and she moved in with a friend the next morning. Last time I spoke to her she told me she was going back home to get a job in a few months.

So that was my wonderful trip. Can't wait to do it again. I don't feel like blogging much now. The spur in the moment of happiness came from Paris Hilton going back to jail. Other than the trip and the break up, that's all. Normally I would be upset right now, but I just feel nothing. I'm not depressed more that usual. I have my days, but not as bad as before.

I'm just staying in tonight. Friends wanna come over and hang out but I just want to be alone. I don't know if I want to continue blogging. Don't get paranoid about what I might be thinking or might do to myself. Somehow I feel a little relieved but still depressed. I think the thought of us breaking up has already hit me. I've gone through my normal things of post breakup already. Anger, Sadness, Breakup Mix tape, Happiness. I think I might need some time to myself. I'll try to come back.