The Sickness Is Returning

Their is like a million things going on in my life now but I just don't feel happy enough to talking about it. My ex girlfriend and I are still going to be friends. We've decided that if we are single on Christmas Eve we were going to crash at her parents house, just to piss them off.

Living the single life is quiet. I get to hang out as late as I want. I can get drunk and throw up anywhere now. What I do miss is the sex. One night stands are dangerous. You'll wake up in a bathtub covered in ice with a kidney missing. Or you just get an USTD. An Unidentified Sexually Transmitted Disease would be my luck.

I did watch a movie recently that a person in my condition probably shouldn't have watched. It's called "The Bridge". It's documentary about the families and friends of the people who committed suicide on the Golden Gate Bridge during 2004. In some sense, it feels relaxing but then you hear the stories of the survivors and the friends of the victims, you feel somewhat bad. One father had a big argument with his son the night before so he told him he wants him to go to work with him that morning after at fear that the son would do something. The son told his father that he wasn't going to do anything and he shouldn't worry. So the father left him by himself. The son did go out to the bridge to commit suicide. Sobbing all the way to the bridge and at the final railing and at the moment of release, he decided he didn't want to kill himself, but it was too late. He'd already let go. He thought if he landed feet first then he might survive, and he did. A few broken bones from a near death experience changed his life. Now he has to take pills twice a day and be out by 10 pm. He said that everybody walks on egg shells around him because they are afraid they'll say the wrong thing. He said he wants to be normal again but it will never be the same again. One guy they were showing throughout the film walking back and forth on the bridge. They were talking to his friends and family and you knew all about his life. At some point you think that he was one of the survivors, but you see him stand on the top of the railing and just fall backwards off the bridge. This movie was definitely a wake up call and leaves a lasting impression. Bridges are definitely crossed off my list.

On a brighter note, I got asked out! I feel like a schoolboy again! But I had to turn her down. I'm not ready to start dating again. Dealing with the awkward phase of the first date of trying to impress each other. I don't care really, I just stick my hands down my pants and tell 'em what you see is what you get. If they don't run out the room then they're a keeper.

Going rollerblading tomorrow night. We think it's safer to skate in the park at night. We'll attach flashlights and bells to each other so we can laugh at people when the run into each other, aahh memories.

Well I'm out. I'm meeting my ex for lunch in a couple of hours.