Teddy beat me up....

damn.....I got Teddy back though......

Teddy and I had a disagreement......

Safety!

I'm Baaaaaack

The depression thing is over you freakin' animals! The asshole you all grown to miss is back.

But For Now...

American Psycho

Son Of A Bitch ...

I'm not really into politics but their is a lot of dumb things happening.
They tell us to vote and that every vote "makes the difference".
So why am I complaining?
Look, look around you.
Do you seem happier?
Is life as fucked up now as it was before?
Do you feel like running to the middle of nowhere and shouting as loud as you can?
Back to the question.
My vote did not make a difference.
The wrong person still won.
I'm unhappy.
My life is as fucked now as it was before.
And I'm lost and I can't speak anymore because of the shouting.
But I'm jumping way ahead of myself.
Lets go further back.
Back to the time where getting your cock sucked by the intern was commonplace.
Yeah, I went there.
Causing a yard to drop their fresh baked apple pies and run to the TV sets.
It was like OJ Simpson was on the run again.
I feel dirty...dirty and used...dirty and used like whores thrown away for today.
For a yard that has no enemies, a yard that is feared.
A yard that has the power to destroy the world but yet feels the need to look for water guns.
Water guns of destruction.
People die daily for these water guns.
I curse the day water guns infiltrated the hands of "Little Timmy".
Little Timmy now takes orders from Grandpa Ruler to kill other water gun users.
Grandpa Ruler takes order from his Grandpa Dumbass yet we can't see it.
Grandpa Ruler is a puppet, Grandpa Dumbass has his hand up his ass making him talk.
Grandpa Ruler cuts down millions of trees in Canada to save a penny.
But I have clearly went to far.
Going to another yard across the street and looking for these damn water guns.
Not finding the water guns, you kidnapp the kid.
And you expect the extended family of that yard to be happy and deal with it.
The kid is now lower than the rat stuck in the trap.
The NY Times has a picture of it in its underwear, embarassed be not, it put itself in that hole.
Grandpa Ruler is sipping a Martini watching Star Wars on his laptop while this is happening.
If George Washinton can see me now but he is too busy chopping cherry trees in Canada.
Star Wars and Crack Whores, Dumbasses and Media Masses
The world has come to its crossroad.
What will be next on the dinner plate?
A side of salad on one side and a nuclear bomb on the other?
Michael Moore will come back and save the day with a sequel to Fahrenhiet 9/11.
Perhaps he'll call it "My Hell".
Portrayed as a obese Team America hater.
But that is old news.
Everybody may hate what I write but the truth hurts.
The truth is what Grandpa Ruler is hiding.
Damn these bitter misfortunes!
We grow up wishing to be like Grandpa Ruler.
He gives us peasants some words of advice for our kids,
Grandpa Ruler says "Teach a child to read and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test."
I feel smarter already.
''I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe, I believe what I believe is right."
I believe we are all going to die!
Grandpa Ruler, why do you stupify us so much?
Yet the sunsets on another day of happy times again.
But my smile has long been faded through the clouds of tomfoolery.
Perhaps in a couple of years that smile will come back.
Or unknown substances will appear on a dress of an intern.
Time will tell.
Good luck Monica Lewinsky, let the force be with you.

A little humor

Wow this blog is depressing! Laugh once again.

The Fallen Queen

Wretched wicked life. Lost and mentally faded. Ripped open and incarcerated in hell. The life and death of Susie Hawkins.

A high school senior having everything she ever wanted, Susie was the person to be growing up. She won beauty pageants all through school and her city throughout the years. She was popular with everybody and even volunteered for good causes all the time. She had the same boyfriend since 11th grade. Her life seems to be perfect in every aspect. Her parents bought her a new car for her graduation. Having a happy past and a bright future, nothing was going to stop her until...

Graduation Day was big day for Susie. Hanging around with her friends and family at her house and taking pictures to be remembered for a lifetime. When she left her house, her boyfriend was waiting for her. He drove her to her graduation and told her to look underneath her seat. It was an engagement ring. He said, "I want to spend my life with you. I want to wake up every morning and see your face right next to mine. I want you to always remember this day, I love you Susie Hawki..."! Then out of nowhere a car traveling over 80 mph hit the passenger side where Susie sat. The accident left Susie and her boyfriend unconscious.

When Susie woke up she was surrounded by her friends, family and boyfriend. They all had a look of sadness and worry. Susie sustained the worst injuries to her entire right side of her body and her face. The doctor told the family that Susie will forever walk with a limp and her face is too badly damaged to do any surgery. The father fell to the floor and started to beat the ground. The boyfriend showed no emotion. Susie would eventually be released from the hospital a shadow of her former self. She would never be the same physically and mentally ever again.

Disgusted by her life she started to get angry at herself and the people that tried to help her. She tried to read the paper about her accident but couldn't finish reading it. She pushed everybody away. She wore a mask of some kind to hide her face. Her boyfriend would visit her everyday spending lesser time with her as time went on until one day he didn't come back. Susie had nobody. She left home one night and never came back. She found an abandoned house a few miles away. She decided to stay in the house so she could be away from everybody. Her parents called the police so they could try and find her but they could never know where to look.

Susie would start to become depress and contemplate suicide. She destroyed any mirror or anything that reflects a picture in the house. One night, she laid in the bathtub holding a piece of broken glass. It reflected her once beautiful face. She decided to cut her wrist. As the end of the broken glass started to graze her delicate skin, the bar of soap fell in the bathtub. She reached in and grabbed it and put it on the floor where she saw an old newspaper describing her accident. She never read the paper completely before since the accident. She read it and recognized a name in the paper. It was the driver of the ill-fated accident that destroyed her life. His name was Greg Dunn. She realized that Greg was her ex boyfriend who she broke up with. The relationship ended on bad terms. He told her that if he can't have her then nobody can. He threatened to kill himself and Susie if they broke up. Susie eventually got away from that relationship and never saw him again until that night of graduation. Susie grabbed the glass and shoved it into her heart killing her instantly. If she kept reading the paper she would have found out that Greg disappeared. The newspaper said that somehow he left the area on foot before the police got there never to be seen again.

Heart Shaped Box

She eyes me like a pisces when I am weak
I've been locked inside your Heart-Shaped box for weeks
I've been drawn into your magnet tar pit trap
I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn back
Hey! Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey! Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey! Wait!I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Your advice

Meat-eating orchids forgive no one just yet
Cut myself on angel's hair and baby's breath
Broken hymen of your highness
I'm left black
Throw down your umbilical noose so I can climb right back

Hey! Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey! Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey! Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Your advice

She eyes me like a pisces when I am weak
I've been locked inside your Heart-Shaped box for weeks
I've been drawn into your magnet tar pit trap
I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn back

Hey! Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey! Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey! Wait!I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Your advice

Your advice
Your advice
Your advice

------------------------------------

A song so full of pain. This group released the strongest albums I've ever heard to this day. This song always hits me every time I hear it. If you haven't heard it then you really need to get from under that rock.

Drunken Life

She comes home every night smelling of whiskey and sex. She's a whore you know. Not the type to take no for an answer. She comes home to her husband and 3.5 kids. They know the truth, even 8 year old Johnny. The kids pick on Johnny everyday calling him "Whore Spawn and 24 hour Mommy." The words coming out of 8 year olds. The teachers aren't any better. Some of them are even regular customers. Take Principal Canon, he met mommy last night. Gave her the black eye and the bruises on top of the black eye and bruises of the previous night. Principal Canon is best friends with the husband of the "Mrs.". They play poker every Friday night while having a beer. The husband himself is an alcholic. He sees nothing different in his wife's appearence yet he continues to play poker with his child principal and wife's pimp without even knowing. Tonya comes in the room to grab her homework for school. Tonya ignores "Daddy Dearest" and leaves the room. Tonya is the oldest and basically the mother of the house. Cleaning up the house, going to school, and tending to her siblings. She dreams of life with a fence, a dog, a house that is a home, a loving family, and a gun. She feels that if life is this hard now then what's the point in waiting for a harder tommorow. But then her younger sister comes in and puts a smile on her face. Michelle is her name. Tonya likes repeating the name because it sounds great. Michelle is the most curious of the bunch. A genius at the ripe old age of 10, she has seen everything nobody has seen. She cherishes life and feels the need to take it away when needed. Just look in the backyard full of dead animals she refuses to bury. She sees 2 people in the house she still can't recognize, her father and her mother. She never talks to them and they never talk to her. She believes they are strangers and her sister told her never to talk to strangers. The baby starts to cry and Tonya runs in the room to console her. Tonya starts to cry herself wishing somebody would just do something. But nobody hears her cry except the 2 strangers in the other room that tell her to SHUT UP! It's 9:00 pm and Johnny and Michelle sleeps in Tonya's room. Tonya comes in an hour later holding the baby and lays down on the bed to go to sleep. She cries herself to sleep again and realizes that she could not runaway and leave her sibling behind. So another day begins another misery. Today is Tonya's birthday. Johnny and Michelle give her a cupcake that they bought together with their money they found thrown around the house. The look that they give Tonya makes her the happiest she has ever been. She realizes that this must end. Tonya decides to run. Their "so-called parents" are both out, the father is passed out drunk again and the mother is out again either drunk or getting laid to pay for another drink. The children run for miles. Its as if they were running to find a new life. They ran for miles on that winter morning. It snowed 9 inches that night before so they were cold and they were very hungry. They finally found somebody to help them. It was the sheriff. He looked at them and felt like it was his fault that they look like this. The sheriff called over his wife and she took care of them and fed them. Tonya told her the story and by the time she finshed the entire station was staring at her. During the time she was telling the story, a couple of cops went by the house to press charges. When they went in there they were shocked at the fact that the father didn't even know they left or where his wife is. They arrested him and waited for the wife who came in that night and arrested her. The children are now living with the sheriff and his wife. Tonya now has dreams of being just herself. Years later the father broke out of prison and was killed instantly by a speeding car. The mother is in rehab but still finds ways of getting her fix by now doing drugs.

Frustrated: Drugs: Ronald McDonald

I'm so frustrated right now. Life sucks and sometimes I wish I was dead. Do you ever have dreams of getting ran over by a truck? Well it might just be me then. Sometimes I remember the bad times and think of the time I almost died at the beach. I might have never been able to write such wonderful words as YOU PIECE OF FUCKED UP SHIT. But I'm here, oh I'm here. I loved getting in fights so that I can focus all my anger towards them. I'm the type of person that builds up in anger. Guess thats my problem. People are surprised I haven't started drugs. I just tell them that they are too late then I start foaming at the mouth to scare them off but they are used to it now so I can't fake it anymore. I feel that if I have to become dependent on it and pay for it then its not for me. That's kind of funny, I don't do drugs because it doesn't fit in my budget. I better stop because I'm feeling kinda CRAZY. I refuse. CRACK IS WACK. damn funny quote. the person who said it got busted for crack. what a role model. it's like Ronald McDonald, actually not really but i'm thinking of something else right now.

its getting late and im tired. perhaps some crack will wake me up? well nevermined, i only have 2 bucks on me.

--FUCK--

Everytime I get started on this I have to go somewhere. Comments will be disabled for awhile.


FUCK SHIT

got posting back up but still looks like shit

FUCK SHIT!

World Outside

Tell me your secret, what you desire
I will still be there for you
And tell me you need it ,tell me something you're not
I will still be there for you
Say you believe it, all of your lies
Tell me you feel it and don't compromise
I will still be there for you
You're lighting my dreams
Light up my skin, so far away
You're holding it in
I'm looking around, watching it spin
God my world outside is changing something
Within
Tell me you reach it, some of the time
What you're searching for
Does the love that surrounds you
Get you down and kick you to the floor
So tell me you see it, with your own eyes
Tell me the sky is falling now in your world
I will still be there for you
You're lighting my dreams
Light up my skin, waiting so long, time to begin
I'm looking around, watching it spin
God my world outside is changing something within
So tell me the reasons, show me the signs
Say you desire, desire me now in this world
It's our world
You're lighting my dreams, light up my skin
You're so far away, you¹re holding it in
I'm looking around, watching it spin
God my world outside is changing something
Within
It's our world, but time moves
Time moves on in our world.

Great song. Makes me think of the bad times.

Evil

A mother killed her child over and over again
Not with a knife but with lack of attention

She didn't know it but it was far too late
The damage has already been done

The child grew up resenting women
He had a hatred for all that was not caring

In his mind he had to do it
In his heart he could not quit

He met death at Charles St.
He kinda laughed, because Charles was his name

He had a choice
Life or Death, Forgiveness or Hatred

He chose Death and Forgiveness
Death was his only way out

Forgiveness was his only way free
So he chose and so it was given

Death Becomes Them

May 24, 1998 - 6:37 p.m. I got the call that would change my life. Travis and I have been best friends since we were kids. Travis started to hang with the wrong crowd as he got older but we still remained friends. He met a girl named Melissa who at the time I thought would change his life for the better. Melissa is a 2 sided bitch cunt whore that ruined his life. I would come to find out that she was his supplier of drugs. His downward spiral towards oblivion wasn't any concern of hers. Myself, friends and parents would try and get him to rehab or something but he wouldn't listen. They eventually ranaway and I didn't see or hear from him for months. One night I got a phone call from Travis on my answering machine. The most chilling message anybody could ever hear. He told me that his life is now ruined and that he was going to die. He kept repeating that until it cut off. A couple of days later I saw Melissa sitting in the dark corner of a small alley shaking. I didn't know whether to hit her or comfort her. I asked her if she has seen Travis. She looked up at me trembling and I stepped back. She looked liked death that was clinging to life. She whispered that "Travis is dead to you". Anger and saddness filled my fist as I hit the wall. I walked away and dropped to my knees a few steps later.

Hours passed by, and then days and months, and eventually years. No word from Travis but I still hear people say they saw him a few towns over. I consider the posibillity that he is still alive but as time goes on, I feel less pain of what I should've done instead of what I did. I haven't seen Melissa since that time in the alley. She has been dead to me since the day I saw her.

I do watch the news daily and online trying to see some glimmer of hope or unfortunate tradgedy. But I realize Travis would've came back to town by now or that he is too ashamed to come back.

Only time will tell.

Well maybe one more.

The Darkness

My posts for the next few days will be pretty dark describing my mood right now. Enjoy.

Friday the !3th

Happy Friday the 13th You Bastard!

Warning

Rules of Fight Club
1. You do not talk about 'Fight Club'.
2. You do not talk about 'Fight Club'.
3. When someone yells "Stop" or goes limp, or taps out, the fight is over.
4. Only two guys to a fight.
5. One fight at a time.
6. No shirts, no shoes.
7. Fights go on as long as they have to.
8. If this is your first night at 'Fight Club', you have to fight.

WTF!!!! 

I'm Really Really HOT

1: Eva Mendes 2: Britney Spears 3: Christina Aguilera 4: Angelina Jolie 5: Pamela Anderson 6: Vida 7: Jessica Alba 8: Shannon Elizabeth 9: Jennifer Lopez

Sexy 

Luck of a Penny

Walking down the street, Ted finds a penny on top of a stack of newspapers. As Ted bends over to pick it up, a drive-by happens to be in the area killing the shopkeeper instantly. Ted is shocked but continues his walk down the street. He sees the car that did the driveby and they see him and kidnap him. They are now in a high speed police chase with Ted in the trunk of the car. All of a sudden a loud thud hit the car and the trunk popped open. Ted sees that an anvil has dropped out of the sky and has crushed everything in front of the truck. The police catch up to the accident and takes Ted downtown to the station. They question him and lets him free 10 minutes later. No more than 30 seconds after Ted left the station, a mad gunmen shoots and kills dozens of cops and blowing himself up inside the station. Ted shocked at the day he is having but continues his walk down the street. And as soon as he turns the corner, he runs into Natalie Portman and they both fall. Natalie is of course hot while Ted has horse-like facial features hit with a brick. They hit it off and become lovers until he realizes that Natalie Portman is not really Natalie Portman. "It's" a celeb lookalike, a male Natalie Portman celeb lookalike. Shocked at this he runs out of the bedroom running into a fat old man who happens to be choking on a whale bone. Ted unclogs the fat old mans mouth and tells him his story of the lucky penny. The fat old man gives Ted a reward for saving his life. He gives Ted $4 Billion dollars with one catch. Ted would have to giveaway his lucky penny. Ted declines but thanks the old man for the offer. The fat old man now angry about this pulls a knife on Ted and then out of nowhere, the male Natalie Portman celeb lookalike falls on top of the fat man killing him instantly. Ted starts to run away until he is stopped by a burgler. He tells Ted to give him all his money. Ted gives the burgler his wallet. The burgler tells Ted to hand over the penny around your neck. And as Ted was handing over the penny, a woman yelled police and the guy shot the lady and Ted hit the guy, took his wallet back and ran. Then all of a sudden, Ted tripped over a stack of newspaper dropping and losing the penny.

As soon as he got back up he was shot in the leg, he limped to a nearby car that just happened to be a gettaway car. The robbers forced him inside the car. They were driving at high speeds until a large piece of metal fell on the car breaking Ted's legs off. The police picked him up and took him to the hospital where they questioned him. He was set free 10 days later. No more than 30 seconds later, he was ambushed by the male Natalie Portman celeb lookalike. The he/she shot at the cops killing a dozen or so and threw a grenade inside the hospital. The he/she and Ted end up in a motel. The male Natalie Portman celeb lookalike tells Ted to give him all his money or else he would kill him. Then out of nowhere, a fat old man runs inside the room with a gun in one hand and swinging a bat in the other. He hits the he/she over the head. Ted can't help but see that the fat old man looks familiar. They talk and the fat old man tells him that his twin brother was killed by the transvestite so he was out for revenge. Ted gets shot in the arm by the fat old man. Ted wonders why in the fuck did he shoot him. And then he realized the fat old man was choking and he let go of the trigger. Ted tries to help him but Ted realizes that he has no legs and his arm is hanging on by one vein. He rips his arm off hits the guy on the back. The old man thanks Ted for saving his life and offers him a reward with one catch. As soon as the fat old man said "catch", Ted grabbed the gun and told him to "Shut the fuck up or I'll blow your fucking heart out." The old man shocked by this, has a heartattack and dies falling on top of Ted. Ted now regretting ever picking up that damn penny sees the he/she waking up. He pushes the old man in front of the door with his one arm blocking the he/she. Ted flings himself down the stairs to get to safety. As soon as he stepped outside a robber confronted him and told him to give him all his money. Ted looks at him and laughs. The robber puzzeled by this shouts louder. Ted now goes a little crazy. He shoots the robber in the head. He sees a lady shouting police and shoots her too. He tries to crawl away but has to stop because a stack of newspapers are in the way. He stops and has a cigarette. When he is done with it, he flicks it behind him starting a fire. With no legs and one arm, Ted is tired and decides to throw himself into the fire. Then out of nowhere, the real Natalie Portman stops him and tells him that she read his story in the paper and she would like to get to know Ted. But out of nowhere, Ted is ran over by a car.

THE END.

A Face That Only A Mother Can Love 

My Recipe Book :)

Boiled Flamingo:

1. Scald the flamingo with the feathers still on.
2. Wash it and remove the feathers and other parts not meant for eating.
3. Stuff it with greens, celery leaves, etc., and tie it to keep its shape. Coat it in lard.
4. Boil the bird in a pot of water with salt, dill, and a little vinegar.
5. Put the half-cooked bird in a sauce pan and brown in oil. Add a bunch of leeks and coriander. Add a little broth. Cover and continue cooking.
6. To add color, pour in some grape juice thickened by heating.
7. Crush some spices—pepper, cumin, coriander, laser root, mint, and rue. Moisten them with vinegar.
8. Add dates and some of the juice from the sauce pan. Stir this back into the sauce and simmer.
9. Add flour and cook till thickened. Strain and pour the sauce over the bird.
The recipe works just as well for parrot.

Sweet Pickled Beaver

1. Wash beaver thoroughly with salt water, then let soak overnight in enough cold water to cover, adding 1/2 cup vinegar and 1 tablespoon salt to the water
2. The next day, remove the beaver from the brine, wash and cover with a solution of 2 teaspoons soda to 2 quarts of water. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer 10 minutes.
3. Drain and rinse the beaver, then place it in a clean pot. Add water just to cover. Sprinkle mixed pickling spice on top, bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer 20 minutes.
4. Drain and rinse beaver, pat dry and place in a roaster.
5. Mix mustard, spices, sugar, wine and fruit juices and spread over beaver.
6. Cover and roast at 325 degrees F. until tender, basting frequently.

Seal Brain Fritters

Wash the seal brains in salted water.
Remove loose skin and blood.
Soak the brains in fresh cold water for 1 hour, changing the water two or three times.
Cover with water to which 1 tablespoon salt and 1 tablespoon vinegar has been added and boil for 15 minutes.
Drain and pat dry.
Mash the brains until soft and light.
Mix the flour, eggs and milk together, beating well to make a soft smooth batter.
Add the brains, melted butter, herbs, salt and pepper to the batter, and mix well.
Drop tablespoons of the mixture into hot fat and deep fry until golden brown.
Drain the fritters well before serving. Serves 4.

My Ex

Cum Whore. I like you to meet my ex. I would not show the actual picture of her but this fits her more closely.