I found the girl of my dreams! She cooks and clean. She wants sex just as much as I do and she wants to give it whenever I ask. And she's only $10 an hour. Kind of like a marriage. I'm never getting married. I won't be able to wake up and smell the morning breath of my significant other in my face. I can't stand for her "letting herself go". It's like since we're married, I could give a fuck about how unattractive I look. I can't go to my kid's soccer match with all the soccer dads talking about how miserable our lives are. I want to get genital herpes at 82 years old. I want to die holding a bottle of beer in one hand and a boob of a girl at hooters in the other. My other brother looks so miserable with his wife. He doesn't notice it but I see it. My mom and dad are happily married, but if they didn't have any kids they would've been living the single life by now. Marriage is a trap door with a broken lock. Once your in, you're stuck. I'm like, I like you but I don't want to see you in the morning. Then theirs the "I Love You's". What's the point of saying it. If we're together, isn't that enough. Need the relationship be based on words? But I digress. The woman of my dreams is a prostitute. Pay her for her services and smiles. Not looking for something permanent and would leave before you even wake up in the morning. Isn't marriage the same thing? The only difference is that in marriage, she never leaves.
I'd end up married with 10 kids by the time I hit 30. All I keep saying is that I should've wore that condom. Kids asking me for money to the zoo, "I should've wore that condom". Need money for college, "I should've wore that condom". The prostitute I had sex with is pregnant with twins, "I should've wore that condom".
Moved to a new home
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9 years ago
11 comments:
that'll be a christmas a family would never forget, bringing home a prostitute who's having twins
Everything you said in this post was exactly what i've been thinking to myself for so long...
errr...well, except that part about the prostitute. HA!
wait til they tell you your car insurance goes up 2000 dollars a year!
i so told jamie when i got home it was his fault-he should have pulled out.
all he said was "you shoulda kept your pants on!"
bah.
You're a nutcase, but you're very entertaining.
When I love someone, I love how they look in the morning. My last boyfriend used to tell me that I look most beautiful in the morning when I have just woken up.
i would like to go on the record by saying
I will NEVER let myself go. not happening.
thank you very much
I'm just wondering where you found this lovely hooker for ten bucks an hour. Does she do girls too?
Hee hee
What if a supermodel wanted to marry you?
i think ysb would most definetly hit that so she'll get pregnant and never leave
You're losing your damn mind!
Well I don't plan on getting married, neither does my boyfriend so it works out kinda well. But I could use the health benefits.
Neither want kids but I'm still on the pill so that's gotta change. Either he gets fixed or I do. And they don't fix us girls if we haven't had kids. Stupid if you ask me. But I did hear about some sterilization thing for us girlies that doesn't involve ripping things out.
TMI I know...
I've already gone to hell.......
I'm already in hell ladyred, let's bake cookies since we're already in the oven.
I would most def hit that until she's 50 BM.
For 10 bucks, I'd probably have to make sure she covers her needle marks with bandaids.
For kate, you can be approaching 100 and still be looking like a banger.
Bettina, I'm the nutcase inside the nut.
You know, kimmmyk, I would've done the same thing. You're in the moment and about 18 years later you realize that one second less having sex then and you'd be a millionare.
Prostitution is a part of growing up Shell.
If a supermodel wanted to marry me, I'd knock her up so that I would always be a part of her life no matter how much she hates me.
And Ace, I never had a mind to lose.
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