Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Life

Do you feel like your life is a total waste? You do something for years, and years down the line, you look back on your life and just wonder why I chose this path and like if you knew what you know now, you would've never taken that path. I'm the guy that sees a fork in the road. The left one is bright and sunny with a paved road that you can see for miles. While the other is made of pebbles and is foggy and you can't see in front of you. Guess which road I took?

Monday, October 22, 2007

The Breakup

got a headache. the break up came and wasn't as bad as i expected. she knew it was coming so it wasn't any surprise to her.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Slasher Fridays - Hellraiser

A movie based on me growing up.

I'm going to break up with my girlfriend tonight. I was hoping she would read my blog and get the hint but I guest I have to tell her, with a group of people, away from my apartment, away from my car. I guess it's a good thing. I'm glad I was on my 40 days and 40 nights thing. I couldn't imagine the diseases I would've gotten from her.

This whole break up thing might actually be a bad idea. She got pretty violent last time I broke up with her. Their's no telling what she'll do when it happens again.

I might have to get a restraining order out against her. Satan, please give me the strength to fight this demon. I don't know what I was thinking getting back with her. I'm actually a little worried. I need to find a big lesbian to fight my girlfriend problems for me. Any takers? I'll watch.....

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Bored

It's not that I'm tired of my friends, I just want more. So I'm going to get a prison pen pal. I'm going to send a letter out to Juan Reyes. He's in jail for armed robbery in California, I have a new role model. He's scheduled for release in 2014 so if he decides to kill me I can be long gone by then.

Peace MUTHAFUCKA!
(I have to start acting hardcore now)

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Saturday, October 13, 2007

In My Mind - I'm Tired

Thom Yorke
Black Swan


Friday, October 12, 2007

Slasher Fridays - Rosemary's Baby

I had a dream last night about death. In my dream I kept killing my girlfriend. Each time I would kill her I would close my eyes for a few seconds and she would reappear, alive, and I'd somehow kill her over again. No matter what I did or she did, I'd kill her. Like she would turn her back on me and I'd throw a rock at her. I did just watch Premonition last night, so that probably had a lot to do with it, and the fact that I hated her guts, but somehow I'm with her. I told her this morning that I kept killing her in my dreams and I couldn't get rid of her. I laughed but she said nothing and decided to come over with some breakfast. She's like the fucking plague of my life that I can't fucking stand! But it was dream, right? I do like her I guess. It's like I'm freakin out man! Freakin the fuck out!

But on with slasher fridays. We were gonna watch Dahmer, but I'm trying to get away from serial killer movies for awhile. I think that's best for everyone. So we're watching Rosemary's Baby.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Happy Belated Death Day

Edgar Allan Poe

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
"'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door--
Only this, and nothing more."

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow;--vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow--sorrow for the lost Lenore--
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore--
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me--filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating,
"'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door--
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door;--
This it is, and nothing more."

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
"Sir," said I, "or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you"--here I opened wide the door;--
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortals ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, "Lenore!"
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, "Lenore!"--
Merely this, and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
"Surely," said I, "surely that is something at my window lattice:
Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore--
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore;--
'Tis the wind and nothing more."


Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore;
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door--
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door--
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore.
"Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou," I said, "art sure no craven,
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the Nightly shore--
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!"
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning--little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blest with seeing bird above his chamber door--
Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as "Nevermore."

But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered--not a feather then he fluttered--
Till I scarcely more than muttered, "other friends have flown before--
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before."
Then the bird said, "Nevermore."

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
"Doubtless," said I, "what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore--
Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore
Of 'Never--nevermore'."

But the Raven still beguiling all my fancy into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust, and door;
Then upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore--
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking "Nevermore."

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamplight gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamplight gloating o'er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then methought the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose footfalls tinkled on the tufted floor.
"Wretch," I cried, "thy God hath lent thee,--by these angels he hath sent thee
Respite,--respite and nepenthe, from thy memories of Lenore!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!"
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil!--prophet still, if bird or devil!--
Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted--
On this home by horror haunted--tell me truly, I implore--
Is there--is there balm in Gilead?--tell me--tell me, I implore!"
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil--prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us--by that God we both adore--
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore--
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore."
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

"Be that word our sign in parting, bird or fiend," I shrieked upstarting--
"Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken!--quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!"
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamplight o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted--nevermore!

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Good News and Bad News

The bad news really isn't bad news for me but it's bad news to a few people. I'm starting to date my ex now. Trust me, I never saw this day ever happening again but somehow it happened. And she's well aware of my 40 days and 40 nights pledge.

I know one person in particular is going to kick my ass so fucking hard when they find out.

Well that was actually all bad news. I'll have to think of some good news now.

I stopped using the person (as much). No, that's bad news too. I'll get back to ya on the good news.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

The User

Is it wrong to purposely use someone for your benefit? Yeah, ok, just making sure.

Friday, October 05, 2007

Slasher Fridays - Stir of Echoes

We're watching Stir of Echoes tonight. And my gun toting ex is coming to. We seem to be getting along again.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Free Ballin

I feel so free. I feel like doing flips. Doing the whole 40 days and 40 nights thing, I guess this is the closest to masturbation I'm gonna get.

Oh yeah, I kicked my friend out for pissing me off with his collection of porn.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

The Bobby Brown

I was talking to my friend on the phone about pot for a half hour. Then we started talking about the nicknames of pot like Doobie, MJ, Tree, Nug and more. But then he called it the Bobby Brown. I never heard of the Bobby Brown. I asked him to put it in a sentence for me.
I was having sex with my ho and she wanted to relax. She asked me what I had and I told her I had some Bobby Brown. She said, what's a Bobby Brown? Yo ho, a Bobby Brown is joint that would fuck you all up! Highly recommended to be fucked.

So I put him on a 3 way call with Chris asking if he knew what a Bobby Brown was. He told me it's when you have a crack stroke. At this point I was just crying. What the fuck is a crack stroke I asked. Apparently a crack stroke is when you do so much crack, you jaw starts dropping made famous by Bobby Brown.

I spent about 2 hours talking about pot and crack and Bobby Brown. And that was my Sunday.

Goodnight!

Saturday, September 29, 2007

O_o

You won't believe who I met at a party last night. My ex. Not just any ex, the ex that wanted to kill me if I showed up at her now divorced wedding that I was contemplating fucking it up just to show I still care for the longest. She just happened to show up at this party. We were both told not to fuck the party up with our fighting, but we actually got along. I was past the death threats, as was she. I'm still kinda shocked that it went as well as it did. Wow.

If you don't remember, here's the LINK

Funny thing about that last line........

Trust me, this is the last time I'll ever talk about her. Promise.

And here we are today.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Two Fucked Up Stories

One is hilarious and one is disturbing. With Bush it's always disturbing.

"Childrens do learn," Bush tells school kids

Ain't that the truth, ain't it? Aaaah, my spell checker is going fucking bonkers! Thank Lucifer for spell checker or else I'd look dumber than I'd already is.

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Offering a grammar lesson guaranteed to make any English teacher cringe, President George W. Bush told a group of New York school kids on Wednesday: "Childrens do learn."

Bush made his latest grammatical slip-up at a made-for-TV event where he urged Congress to reauthorize the No Child Left Behind Act, the centrepiece of his education policy, as he touted a new national report card on improved test scores.

The event drew New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, Education Secretary Margaret Spellings plus teachers and about 20 fourth and fifth graders from P.S. 76.

During his first presidential campaign, Bush -- who promised to be the "education president" -- once asked: "Is our children learning?"

On Wednesday, Bush seemed to answer his own question with the same kind of grammatical twist.

"As yesterday's positive report card shows, childrens do learn when standards are high and results are measured," he said.

The White House opted to clean up Bush's diction in the official transcript.

Bush is no stranger to verbal gaffes. He often acknowledges he was no more than an average student in school and jokes about his habit of mangling the English language.

Just a day earlier, the White House inadvertently showed how it tries to prevent Bush from making even more slips of the tongue than he already does.

As Bush addressed the U.N. General Assembly on Tuesday, a marked-up draft of his speech briefly popped up on the U.N. Web site, complete with a phonetic pronunciation guide to get him past troublesome names of countries and world leaders.

6 die from brain-eating amoeba in lakes

I'm never jumping in the water again, especially the ones with dead bodies.

PHOENIX - It sounds like science fiction but it's true: A killer amoeba living in lakes enters the body through the nose and attacks the brain where it feeds until you die.

Even though encounters with the microscopic bug are extraordinarily rare, it's killed six boys and young men this year. The spike in cases has health officials concerned, and they are predicting more cases in the future.

"This is definitely something we need to track," said Michael Beach, a specialist in recreational waterborne illnesses for the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

"This is a heat-loving amoeba. As water temperatures go up, it does better," Beach said. "In future decades, as temperatures rise, we'd expect to see more cases."

According to the CDC, the amoeba called Naegleria fowleri (nuh-GLEER-ee-uh FOWL'-erh-eye) killed 23 people in the United States, from 1995 to 2004. This year health officials noticed a spike with six cases — three in Florida, two in Texas and one in Arizona. The CDC knows of only several hundred cases worldwide since its discovery in Australia in the 1960s.

In Arizona, David Evans said nobody knew his son, Aaron, was infected with the amoeba until after the 14-year-old died on Sept. 17. At first, the teen seemed to be suffering from nothing more than a headache.

"We didn't know," Evans said. "And here I am: I come home and I'm burying him."

After doing more tests, doctors said Aaron probably picked up the amoeba a week before while swimming in the balmy shallows of Lake Havasu, a popular man-made lake on the Colorado River between Arizona and California.

Though infections tend to be found in southern states, Naegleria lives almost everywhere in lakes, hot springs, even dirty swimming pools, grazing off algae and bacteria in the sediment.

Beach said people become infected when they wade through shallow water and stir up the bottom. If someone allows water to shoot up the nose — say, by doing a somersault in chest-deep water — the amoeba can latch onto the olfactory nerve.

The amoeba destroys tissue as it makes its way up into the brain, where it continues the damage, "basically feeding on the brain cells," Beach said.

People who are infected tend to complain of a stiff neck, headaches and fevers. In the later stages, they'll show signs of brain damage such as hallucinations and behavioral changes, he said.

Once infected, most people have little chance of survival. Some drugs have stopped the amoeba in lab experiments, but people who have been attacked rarely survive, Beach said.

"Usually, from initial exposure it's fatal within two weeks," he said.

Researchers still have much to learn about Naegleria. They don't know why, for example, children are more likely to be infected, and boys are more often victims than girls.

"Boys tend to have more boisterous activities (in water), but we're not clear," Beach said.

In central Florida, authorities started an amoeba phone hot line advising people to avoid warm, standing water and areas with algae blooms. Texas health officials also have issued warnings.

People "seem to think that everything can be made safe, including any river, any creek, but that's just not the case," said Doug McBride, a spokesman for the Texas Department of State Health Services.

Officials in the town of Lake Havasu City are discussing whether to take action. "Some folks think we should be putting up signs. Some people think we should close the lake," city spokesman Charlie Cassens said.

Beach cautioned that people shouldn't panic about the dangers of the brain-eating bug. Cases are still extremely rare considering the number of people swimming in lakes. The easiest way to prevent infection, Beach said, is to use nose clips when swimming or diving in fresh water.

"You'd have to have water going way up in your nose to begin with" to be infected, he said.

David Evans has tried to learn as much as possible about the amoeba over the past month. But it still doesn't make much sense to him. His family had gone to Lake Havasu countless times. Have people always been in danger? Did city officials know about the amoeba? Can they do anything to kill them off?

Evans lives within eyesight of the lake. Temperatures hover in the triple digits all summer, and like almost everyone else in this desert region, the Evanses look to the lake to cool off.

It was on David Evans' birthday Sept. 8 that he brought Aaron, his other two children, and his parents to Lake Havasu. They ate sandwiches and spent a few hours splashing around.

"For a week, everything was fine," Evans said.

Then Aaron got the headache that wouldn't go away. At the hospital, doctors first suspected meningitis. Aaron was rushed to another hospital in Las Vegas.

"He asked me at one time, 'Can I die from this?'" David Evans said. "We said, 'No, no.'"

On Sept. 17, Aaron stopped breathing as his father held him in his arms.

"He was brain dead," Evans said. Only later did doctors and the CDC determine that the boy had been infected with Naegleria.

"My kids won't ever swim on Lake Havasu again," he said.