The American Dream

Am I living the American Dream? Picket white fences and playing golf on the green? Make a sex tape and become a megastar. Being famous for doing nothing. Making a religion the newest hot shit since the microwave. The dream of doing nothing for your country and becoming president and doing less for it. The dream of winning the lottery and end up losing it all on something stupid. The dreams of the past of kids going to the arcade and having a blast. With Tommy fat ass who now can't get his hands off his Wii game system his parents got him. When Dad was the money maker and Mom was staying at home were the old relics of the American Dream. Now Mom shakes her money maker and Dad is slinging crack rock to feed the habit. All this while Tommy fat ass is killing animals and growing into the world's most notorious serial killer. Let's live the American Dream and watch all our money go down the drain and back to the rich bastards that took it away in the first place. But don't fret, this is the American Dream. Crack pipe and all. Live it, Enjoy it, Savor it, Fuck it, for it's the New American Dream.

The Bobby Brown

I was talking to my friend on the phone about pot for a half hour. Then we started talking about the nicknames of pot like Doobie, MJ, Tree, Nug and more. But then he called it the Bobby Brown. I never heard of the Bobby Brown. I asked him to put it in a sentence for me.

I was having sex with my ho and she wanted to relax. She asked me what I had and I told her I had some Bobby Brown. She said, what's a Bobby Brown? Yo ho, a Bobby Brown is joint that would fuck you all up! Highly recommended to be fucked.

So I put him on a 3 way call with Chris asking if he knew what a Bobby Brown was. He told me it's when you have a crack stroke. At this point I was just crying. What the fuck is a crack stroke I asked. Apparently a crack stroke is when you do so much crack, you jaw starts dropping made famous by Bobby Brown.

I spent about 2 hours talking about pot and crack and Bobby Brown. And that was my Sunday.

Goodnight!

Food, Sex & A Little Cannablism

Our neighbors invited us over for dinner tomorrow. I guess she'll have to put the gangbangs off a bit until after we leave then. Or we could be involved in the orgy. I'd be honored.

Her husband scares me still. I hear he killed 20 people last year. I don't even bother saying "hey" to him anymore when I see him. I feel the less he sees me the less idea he has of turning my body parts to lamps.

I think so highly of my neighbors. I think the husband is a killer and the wife is a hooker. I can only imagine what they think of us:

I've been thinking. Maybe they are inviting us over to kill us because we know they are crazy. Maybe I'm the crazy one. Maybe I'm the one who sniffed the markers and gasoline way too much, hmmmm.....
But I'm looking forward to eating or being eaten. Do note that I'm high in cholesterol and have no nutritious value at all, except in my dick, ha ha.

But what do I wear at a cannibal's dinner? Do I salt myself? Marinate my body in butter? I'm new at cannibal etiquette. I'm sure it'll be a blast! I'll just alert the police when I leave so they can knock the door down after 20 minutes and arrest them. Knowing my luck, I'd drop a crack pipe and 50 bags of pot.

What a post. If tomorrow's dinner is anything like that then it's gonna freakin' rock!