The Soap Taster

I think I have a problem. Besides drinking and promiscuous sex, I think I have a foul mouth. Like look at the title "You Sick Fucking Bastard", it kind of speaks for itself. The many times I've been popped in the mouth by my grandparents for cursing under my breath. I'm really a disrespectful son of a bitch, but I don't mean it. I guess I'm a cursexalcoholic (cur-sex-al-co-hol-ic).

Coming this December, the entire month will be curse word free, sex free and alcohol free month. Not to say I won't participate in this during this time, I just won't talk about it, as well as death. I'm all deathed out right now. So no more depression talk for December. So probably expect "Merry Christmas" to be my only post for December. Posting without talking about sex and drinking and cursing on New Years Eve is going to be hard, but I will do it. I'll have to come up with some code words instead of going out and saying it.

Hells To The Yeah

Sticking aluminum foil in a glass bottle and filling it with gasoline and putting inside a microwave.

Life is boring so I guess I'll give an update.

Voting girl was a dud. Her laugh was annoying. I can't continue a relationship with that laugh. Her laugh is like trying to laugh while choking to death. I accidentally lost her phone number.

I'm thinking about becoming a vegetarian. Start buying more weed and eating more shrooms.

I didn't have a drink at all this weekend. I've been sober for two days and I'm proud of myself. I plan on celebrating life without alcohol this coming weekend with a keg of Zima.

I don't think I'm gonna make it to 1000 post by the end of the year. I'm like 200 posts behind. With such riveting things going in my life now I'll have 200 more to go.

How To Mend A Broken Heart?

Throw her lifeless body over the bridge.

But seriously, I find that if the relationship isn't fucked up near the end of the relationship then you have to fuck it up so the break up will be smooth. My logic may be fucked up, and I might be headed towards divorce court before I hit the altar, but that's me.

I don't think I ever had a broken heart. Relationships get my mind off the things I don't want to think about, so when it ends, I have nothing else to do but think about the things I don't want to think about. Kind of like doing cocaine, maybe not really like cocaine. Maybe a little like swallowing a lot of pills and washing it down with tequila then realizing that you forgot to tell your girlfriend that you're breaking up with her, but it's too late so you try to drive to see her to tell her but you're too messed up and you get in a car accident and near death and you try to call her on your cell but there's no signal, but she so happens to drive by you and sees you laying out of your car near death and she hears you say something so she comes closer to you in tears asking what you said, and you tell her in a raspy blood guzzling voice, "The relationship isn't working out", and you die. So it'll be something like that.

Reco!

Anybody who tells you money is the root of all evil doesn't fucking have any.

So it's Sunday and I'm back. My entire family is gone! Thanksgiving wasn't the pain in the ass that I expected. My brother popped in a DVD while we were eating dinner. It just so happen to be Boiler Room. Not quite the family friendly movie but it was great the first time I watched it years ago and better the 1000th time watching it Thursday. Hence the title of the post and me sipping some alcohol while watching the movie.

My grandparents made a surprise visit Thanksgiving morning. They said they wouldn't be able to make it, but they made it anyway. Grandpa arguing with Grandma and Grandpa arguing with Dad who was arguing with all of us made this Thanksgiving no different from the one the previous year and the year before that and so on. It would really suck if we had nothing to argue about.

My girlfriend was in charge of the turkey since everybody else was the guest. I expected it to be so dry that cutting it would start a fire. But it was good. I don't get it. She can barely make a grilled cheese sandwich but you put her in charge of a turkey and you got a masterpiece.