Hells To The Yeah

Sticking aluminum foil in a glass bottle and filling it with gasoline and putting inside a microwave.

Life is boring so I guess I'll give an update.

Voting girl was a dud. Her laugh was annoying. I can't continue a relationship with that laugh. Her laugh is like trying to laugh while choking to death. I accidentally lost her phone number.

I'm thinking about becoming a vegetarian. Start buying more weed and eating more shrooms.

I didn't have a drink at all this weekend. I've been sober for two days and I'm proud of myself. I plan on celebrating life without alcohol this coming weekend with a keg of Zima.

I don't think I'm gonna make it to 1000 post by the end of the year. I'm like 200 posts behind. With such riveting things going in my life now I'll have 200 more to go.

1000 Posts

I'm so far off my target. Last time I checked I have like 300 more to go. Guess I'll give this post an update.

Cankles stripper last weekend was definitely not a highlight.

My brother and earthy girl are back together. I guess restraining orders are just pieces of paper anyways.

Somebody cut me off today and turned off as soon as she did it. So I just gave her the finger and yelled bitch. Other than that my day has been pretty good.

Me and "wheels" are ok. We just keep our distance.

Still no urinal cakes in the restroom, ......sigh.

Post #545

What's so special about Post #545? It's the bestest post in the whole wide world. It's superdeduper! Actually I was thinking about celebrating coming near the 1000th post mark but I have a long way to go. So let's begin the countdown, just 455 more to go.

I've been thinking about something for a long time too. It's been on my mind for so long. What if I changed my name to Cocaine. I mean it's a word that has such negative meaning. I want to be the first to be called Cocaine. And I want new parents to name their first child Cocaine. I want your kid to be named Cocaine. I want hear his/her teacher do roll call and say, "Cocaine, I'm looking for Cocaine". Then when little Cocaine grows up and starts his first job he has to do a drug test. How ironic, I person named Cocaine is getting a drug test. Should be a slam dunk fail, but he passes. Eventually Cocaine gets married and marries and has many little cocaines. Even a Cocaine Jr. And Mr. Cocaine and his lovely whore wife lives happily ever after.

Wow I need to stop. Imagine if I was writing this post drunk. Now that would be fucked up.