The Soap Taster

I think I have a problem. Besides drinking and promiscuous sex, I think I have a foul mouth. Like look at the title "You Sick Fucking Bastard", it kind of speaks for itself. The many times I've been popped in the mouth by my grandparents for cursing under my breath. I'm really a disrespectful son of a bitch, but I don't mean it. I guess I'm a cursexalcoholic (cur-sex-al-co-hol-ic).

Coming this December, the entire month will be curse word free, sex free and alcohol free month. Not to say I won't participate in this during this time, I just won't talk about it, as well as death. I'm all deathed out right now. So no more depression talk for December. So probably expect "Merry Christmas" to be my only post for December. Posting without talking about sex and drinking and cursing on New Years Eve is going to be hard, but I will do it. I'll have to come up with some code words instead of going out and saying it.

Fond Childhood Memories of Horror

THIS WEEK!

The Gas Man

I remember my parents were telling me a story about a trip to my grandparents house. My grandparents are really old fashion. They still have things from the 40's. So I was between 5 and 10 years old when my parents took us to see our grandparents for the weekend. When we knocked on the door, nobody came to the door but the car was still in the driveway. My dad looked through the window and saw them both just laying on the floor. My dad broke down the door and yelled at my mother to call 911. So within minutes, I see my dad cursing and my mother crying and my grandparents on the floor, what a childhood.

It was a gas leak. Who knows how long they were under but they were still moving slightly. They survived to tell the tale. My parents ended up removing all the gas appliances from the house and replacing it with electrical ones. I'm going to visit them over the weekend. Did I mention that my grandpa grows marijuana? Medicinal purposes of course. I feel a little sick too so I might need a prescription.