I think my subconscious is telling me something. I've been listening to a lot of Bob Marley and Rage Against the Machine lately. I've known everything there is to know about Che Guevara for years. I hate the world and everything in it. I believe my life goal is to be remembered in death. Maybe I should join a gang are something.
But seriously, I find that if the relationship isn't fucked up near the end of the relationship then you have to fuck it up so the break up will be smooth. My logic may be fucked up, and I might be headed towards divorce court before I hit the altar, but that's me.
I don't think I ever had a broken heart. Relationships get my mind off the things I don't want to think about, so when it ends, I have nothing else to do but think about the things I don't want to think about. Kind of like doing cocaine, maybe not really like cocaine. Maybe a little like swallowing a lot of pills and washing it down with tequila then realizing that you forgot to tell your girlfriend that you're breaking up with her, but it's too late so you try to drive to see her to tell her but you're too messed up and you get in a car accident and near death and you try to call her on your cell but there's no signal, but she so happens to drive by you and sees you laying out of your car near death and she hears you say something so she comes closer to you in tears asking what you said, and you tell her in a raspy blood guzzling voice, "The relationship isn't working out", and you die. So it'll be something like that.
Have you ever wondered who would show up to your funeral? Who your true friends are and aren't? Some days I wonder if life would be better off if I was dead? Just a thought.
Now for something a little less morbid. Skeleton Key rocked! Took me a second to try and figure out the ending. Very smart. I had to think about who were actually being hanged in the movie, but me smart, me figured it out.
Today I'm just staying in. Friday night took a nasty turn. Vomiting and strip clubs and fights all night. I haven't slept yet. I think I might be coming down with something. Everybody is getting this stomach bug. I hate those. I'm starting feel some aching in my neck. I think I might've jolted it when I threw up the second time or getting knocked in the face. It kind of all happened around the same time.
And that boys and girls was how I started my weekend......
A little off topic of my blog but this just sticks in my mind. She had a baby and lost her son a few days later and died herself, all within a few months of each other. And she was only 39. Really upsetting how life can be taken away from you so quick.
I never was a big fan of hers but I thought she was funny when she never meant to be.
Here's the story from the news:
HOLLYWOOD, Fla. - Anna Nicole Smith, the pneumatic blonde whose life played out as an extraordinary tabloid tale — Playboy centerfold, jeans model, bride of an octogenarian oil tycoon, reality-show subject, tragic mother — died Thursday after collapsing at a hotel. She was 39.
She was stricken while staying at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino and was rushed to a hospital. Edwina Johnson, chief investigator for the Broward County Medical Examiner's Office, said the cause of death was under investigation and an autopsy would be done on Friday.
Just five months ago, Smith's 20-year-old son, Daniel, died suddenly in the Bahamas in what was believed to be drug-related.
Seminole Police Chief Charlie Tiger said a private nurse called 911 after finding Smith unresponsive in her sixth-floor room at the hotel, which is on an Indian reservation. He said Smith's bodyguard administered CPR, but she was declared dead at a hospital.
Through the '90s and into the new century, Smith was famous for being famous, a pop-culture punchline because of her up-and-down weight, her Marilyn Monroe looks, her exaggerated curves, her little-girl voice, her ditzy-blonde persona, and her over-the-top revealing outfits.
Recently, she lost a reported 69 pounds and became a spokeswoman for TrimSpa, a weight-loss supplement. On her reality show and other recent TV appearances, her speech was often slurred and she seemed out of it. Some critics said she seemed drugged-out.
"Undoubtedly it will be found at the end of the day that drugs featured in her death as they did in the death of poor Daniel," said a former attorney for Smith in the Bahamas, Michael Scott.
Another former Smith attorney, Lenard Leeds, told the celebrity gossip Web site TMZ that Smith "always had problems with her weight going up and down, and there's no question she used alcohol." Leeds said it was no secret that "she had a very troubled life" and had "so many, many problems."
"She wanted to be like Marilyn her whole life and ironically died in a similar manner," Leeds said. Monroe died of a drug overdose at age 36 in 1962.
Smith attorney Ron Rale told The Associated Press that he had talked to her on Tuesday or Wednesday, and she had flu symptoms and a fever and was still grieving over her son.
"Poor Anna Nicole," he said. "She's been the underdog. She's been besieged ... and she's been trying her best and nobody should have to endure what she's endured."
The Texas-born Smith was a topless dancer at strip club before she entered her photos in a search contest and made the cover of Playboy magazine in 1992. She became Playboy's playmate of the year in 1993. She was also signed to a contract with Guess jeans, appearing in TV commercials, billboards and magazine ads.
In 1994, she married 89-year-old oil tycoon J. Howard Marshall II, owner of Great Northern Oil Co. In 1992, Forbes magazine estimated his wealth at $550 million.
In a 2005 interview with ABC, Smith recalled meeting Marshall at what she called a "gentleman's club' in Houston. "He had no will to live and I went over to see him," she said. "He got a little twinkle in his eyes, and he asked me to dance for him. And I did."
Marshall died in 1995 at age 90, setting off a feud with Smith's former stepson, E. Pierce Marshall, over his estate. A federal court in California awarded Smith $474 million. That was later overturned. But in May, the U.S. Supreme Court revived her case, ruling that she deserved another day in court.
The stepson died June 20 at age 67. But the family said the court fight would continue.
Smith starred in her own reality TV series, "The Anna Nicole Show," in 2002-04. Cameras followed her around as she sparred with her lawyer, hung out with her personal assistant and interior decorator, and cooed at her poodle, Sugar Pie. She also appeared in movies, performing a bit part in "The Hudsucker Proxy" in 1994.
After news came of Smith's death, G. Eric Brunstad Jr., the lawyer who represented Marshall, said in a statement: "We're very shocked by the news and extend the deepest condolences to her family."
In a statement, Playboy founder Hugh Hefner said: "I am very saddened to learn about Anna Nicole's passing. She was a dear friend who meant a great deal to the Playboy family and to me personally."
Smith's son died Sept. 10 in his mother's hospital room in the Bahamas, just days after she gave birth to a daughter.
An American medical examiner hired by the family, Cyril Wecht, said he died accidentally of a combination of methadone and two antidepressants. Last month, a Bahamas magistrate scheduled a formal inquiry into the death for March 27.
Meanwhile, the paternity of Smith's now 5-month-old daughter remained a matter of dispute. The birth certificate lists Dannielynn's father as attorney Howard K. Stern, Smith's most recent companion. Smith's ex-boyfriend Larry Birkhead was waging a legal challenge, saying he was the father.
Debra Opri, the attorney who filed his paternity suit, said Birkhead "is devastated. He is inconsolable, and we are taking steps now to protect the DNA testing of the child. The child is our No. 1 priority."
Smith was born Vickie Lynn Hogan on Nov. 28, 1967, in Houston, one of six children. Her parents split up when she was a toddler, and she was raised by her mother, a deputy sheriff.
She dropped out after 11th grade after she was expelled for fighting, and worked as a waitress and then a cook at Jim's Krispy Fried Chicken restaurant in Mexia.
She married 16-year-old fry cook Bill Smith in 1985, giving birth to Daniel before divorcing two years later.
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