Why?

Why is smoking and growing weed illegal? It's just a plant. I could grow and roll some cabbage and not get in trouble but if I grow and roll another very similar green plant, I'd get in trouble. It's purely natural. It came from the ground. It's green, it's eco-friendly. It's just smoke.

Same thing with cocaine. It grows naturally out of the ground. So what if I want to snort something from a plant up my nose. Is smelling the aroma from a rose any different than snorting cocaine? Back in the day they gave cocaine to kids all the time at the dentist to ease the pain. I wanna ease my pain too with some plants.

And what's the deal with opium? Hmmmm morphine.

My Penis

I rather say penis instead of dick because saying penis to somebody makes them feel more insulted than being called a dick. But I digress. I don't know if you girls name your vaginas, but we name our cock. I say vagina because it sounds dirtier. But I digress. I for one name my cock and balls separately. My left nut I call "Nutter" and my right nut I call "Butter". Please tell me when this post starts going too far. And in between Nutter Butter we have Mufasa. I got the name after watching Lion King one day. I named it as a kid and it stuck with me. I could only imagine what Mufasa was capable of when he grew. The fun times Mufasa and I had together.

Last night was a long night and you how I roll, a bottle of Crown Royal with a side of PCP. I'm starting to think I really have a problem with drinking. You can squeeze the booze out of my liver to make an irishmen drunk. I think I still have a hangover. I'm a little dizzy and everything is around me is a little blurry. It's like I'm drunk on the inside but very sober on the outside. Don't ask me the science behind that. My eyes are on fire!

I think my friends are a bad influence on me. I know I fucked their lives up. Let me tell you how fucked up we are. For one of our friends we hired a prostitute blind date. We of course got her tested so she was clean but it didn't last. She was high class, like 40 bucks or something. That's just the beginning of the fucked up things we do to each other. Oh so many trips to the hospital.

I'll try to get to everybodies blog before I pass out. Is everybodies a word? Or is it everybody's or everybodyies or ya'll or yallies?

The Smallest Button to Button

My girlfriend and I broke up, again. This time it looks like it's going to be for awhile. We still "love"(what does that mean?) each other, but the long distance isn't working out. My schedule is hectic now and I barely have time to eat and then traveling to see my girlfriend is just killing both of us.

Other than that, life's been ok. Previous ex is just an acquaintance. I have nobody now! BOO HOO! Not like I have time for anybody for more than a second outing now. So I have no girlfriend and my parents are selling my childhood home and I don't even have time to sit down and process it all. Life doesn't get any better than this. But with all these disappointments, I'm not depressed, I'm upset though. Oh and I got a call from my now ex girlfriend's parents just making sure that I know that they still don't like me. Who calls just to say "I hate you"? They do. I always wondered if she came up pregnant, I would be in their lives forever! Came close but not gonna talk about it. I don't even remember why they hate me. It's not liked I streaked on their Thanksgiving table last year sheesh, but it does give me an idea for this year though. That hate call kind of made me happy though.

But I'm still upbeat. Ever since I made that post about avoiding the cops I've been a little paranoid every time I see one. I'm thinking that if a cop pulls me over I'm going to blurt out something about a few pounds of hash in my pockets and two hand fulls of cocaine in the glove department, and when he ask if I have anything else I'd say theirs also a few dead bodies in the trunk. But in reality I'd just get busted for 2 of those things, if it's a weekend maybe all 3. Speaking of drugs and dead people, I think I'm going to have a blast this weekend. We are going to the beach and sample illegal stuff probably. So my life really isn't as bad as it could be I guess or gonna be.

So that's me update. I'm still alive and kicking harder. You know, I don't think I even cursed once on this entire post. I think I'm turning a new leaf. This has gotta be the first time ever! FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!