O.J.

I like the taste of orange juice. I don't like it with the pulp because I don't like to have to chew my orange juice before I drink it. It also goes great with vodka, but what doesn't? Other than that, I love O.J. The juice that is, not the killer, excuse me, acquitted, but what's the difference, we all know he did it. I heard that the reason why the glove didn't fit was because he didn't take his medicine which made his hand swell. But let's give him the benefit of the doubt.......honestly I can't think of another scenario. I wonder if O.J. likes O.J.? Wouldn't be like cannibalism? They're both named the same thing. Kinda of like a pig eating bacon, you just shouldn't do it. Well that's my 2 cents. Enjoy the juice. Goodnight. But wait, speaking of O.J., wouldn't it be awkward to be in the same room with O.J.? Guess we could talk about football and running from cops. He was one heck of a football player. He was a good runner. Too bad that didn't work out. Too bad the slogan, "whatever happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas", didn't work out either. If I was with O.J., I'd tell him, "Hey, O.J. don't take the gun, you're O.J. that should frighten people enough". But noooooo, he had to take to gun and start hootin' & hollerin' like an old man having a walking seizure. Well, goodnight. Taste the juice. One other thing, I don't really call orange juice O.J., I'm just too lazy to change the title now, goodnight. But one other thing, only I can make a post including orange juice and cannibalism at the same time and make it seem relevant. Ok, really, goodnight this time. No more additions, except this one time I was wearing these white shorts and spilt orange juice on it and it looked liked piss. To this day I always avoid drinking orange juice and wearing white pants at the same time. And on that note, goodnight, really, goodnight.

Who Got VD on VD?

What kind of cops have checkpoints on Valentine's Day? It was my friend and his girlfriend and my girlfriend and this guy we gave a ride for exchange for weed. The car reeked of pot and I knew for sure I was so going to jail. Luckily we just started smoking and the guy was the obvious pothead, Im just a closted pothead where Im totally baked but always have that look so its hard to tell. The guy had a pipe with him too. I was shocked and appalled. You think you know hitchhikers. If we all had only made it home, we all would've been smoking crack together. Well they arrested the guy and almost took us all in. Geez, I know Im guilty for the weed, but drugs? I take prescription nowadays YO! He just gave me a ticket. Fucking pigs, I hate them all. We are the hippies and the cops are "the man" trying to bring our high down. Well, guess it's better than going to jail. It's not the summons that pisses me off, it's the checkpoint on V-Day. I've never been stopped at a checkpoint on V-Day. Now if I was stopped tonight and got caught for weed, I'd feel much better.

Oh yeah so back to the story. For VD, I was planning on giving my girlfriend pot as a gift. I know what girls like. But in my defense, she asked for it so I felt obligated to smoke some with her. But the cops confiscated the weed from our friend and ruined VD. So I had to go to the guy whose weed cost more money than everybody else. He blames the economy for the inflation but thats besides the point.

So how was your VD?

Updates!

When my life gets boring, I feel like its my duty to bore you too, so hears my fucking updates so sit the fuck down and listen, pretty please.





Well, thats it on the updates. Goodnight

Oh yeah, how can I forget. Somebody got tased by the cops last night. You never know how bad it hurts until you see the look on the persons face. I know what I want for Christmas. I think he was drunk or something. I don't know if his slurred shouting was from the taser or the alcohol, either way it was funny as hell.

The Smallest Button to Button

My girlfriend and I broke up, again. This time it looks like it's going to be for awhile. We still "love"(what does that mean?) each other, but the long distance isn't working out. My schedule is hectic now and I barely have time to eat and then traveling to see my girlfriend is just killing both of us.

Other than that, life's been ok. Previous ex is just an acquaintance. I have nobody now! BOO HOO! Not like I have time for anybody for more than a second outing now. So I have no girlfriend and my parents are selling my childhood home and I don't even have time to sit down and process it all. Life doesn't get any better than this. But with all these disappointments, I'm not depressed, I'm upset though. Oh and I got a call from my now ex girlfriend's parents just making sure that I know that they still don't like me. Who calls just to say "I hate you"? They do. I always wondered if she came up pregnant, I would be in their lives forever! Came close but not gonna talk about it. I don't even remember why they hate me. It's not liked I streaked on their Thanksgiving table last year sheesh, but it does give me an idea for this year though. That hate call kind of made me happy though.

But I'm still upbeat. Ever since I made that post about avoiding the cops I've been a little paranoid every time I see one. I'm thinking that if a cop pulls me over I'm going to blurt out something about a few pounds of hash in my pockets and two hand fulls of cocaine in the glove department, and when he ask if I have anything else I'd say theirs also a few dead bodies in the trunk. But in reality I'd just get busted for 2 of those things, if it's a weekend maybe all 3. Speaking of drugs and dead people, I think I'm going to have a blast this weekend. We are going to the beach and sample illegal stuff probably. So my life really isn't as bad as it could be I guess or gonna be.

So that's me update. I'm still alive and kicking harder. You know, I don't think I even cursed once on this entire post. I think I'm turning a new leaf. This has gotta be the first time ever! FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!