Get The Hell Off The Road!

I fucking hate people driving! Does anybody pull over to the next lane if somebody is right on your tail? This fucking idiot was in the fast lane going slower than shit and refused to change lanes. Then the fucker changed lanes a few miles later! Why! Why couldn't he just change it earlier!? FUCK!

For the longest I've been thinking about this invention. I call it the FUCK YOU, which I'm still willing to negotiate on the name. But let me give you an example of what I'm talking about:

Now I would have this scrolling on my windshield so that the person on the other side can see it. I'd speak through this machine and it would scroll exactly what I say like some common phrases I use everyday:

• Get the fuck out of my way!
• Move, you decrepit old fuck!
• I want to kill you very badly
• You're lucky you're not a pedestrian right now
• If shooting a driver wasn't illegal

But that would be better for me so the driver can no exactly what I'm saying when I'm giving them the finger and giving them death threats. This way I can put my actions into words and not into bullets or knives. Sometimes I feel I'm not getting my point across. Then one day I'll be having a really bad day, and some asshole will fucking tick me off and I'll end up blacking out and waking up covered in blood holding a decapitated head of a senior citizen. Somedays I scare myself with my thoughts. If I ever become a serial killer, beware. I'd kill everybody. (evil laugh) But I'm more of a kill myself kind of guy.

And on that note I'm leaving to get on the plane tonight so I'll be gone for a few days to see my brother. I need some fucking time off before I go crazy. Sorry I can't post on Halloween but do know that I'll be living it up this weekend. Have a Happy Halloween. And feel free to throw eggs at trick/treaters.

The American Dream

Am I living the American Dream? Picket white fences and playing golf on the green? Make a sex tape and become a megastar. Being famous for doing nothing. Making a religion the newest hot shit since the microwave. The dream of doing nothing for your country and becoming president and doing less for it. The dream of winning the lottery and end up losing it all on something stupid. The dreams of the past of kids going to the arcade and having a blast. With Tommy fat ass who now can't get his hands off his Wii game system his parents got him. When Dad was the money maker and Mom was staying at home were the old relics of the American Dream. Now Mom shakes her money maker and Dad is slinging crack rock to feed the habit. All this while Tommy fat ass is killing animals and growing into the world's most notorious serial killer. Let's live the American Dream and watch all our money go down the drain and back to the rich bastards that took it away in the first place. But don't fret, this is the American Dream. Crack pipe and all. Live it, Enjoy it, Savor it, Fuck it, for it's the New American Dream.