A Prapa Update

I was a little down yesterday but today I feel freakin' not as unhappy!

I have this taste of blood everytime I cough, but when I spit I don't see the blood, except that one time. Should I get that checked out?

So besides the possible internal bleeding, life is going pretty darn well. The girl I'm seeing I see as more of a fling. So I'm not looking for anything long term. Looking at my track history, I don't think I have a choice. As for kimmyk calling me a cheater.....technically, yes, but I cheat when I feel obligated to. I try not to cheat, really. But heartbroken and tears falling from my eyes, I run into the arms of another woman or stripper, which ever I see first. Basically I cheat when the girl cheats on me and I just do it for revenge. I just tend to attract cheaters or weird girls. Guess I'm a glutton for a constant punishment (insert dominatrix joke here). Who knows, this girl might turn out to be my wife, well lets not think too far ahead.

But kimmy gave me a great idea. My brother and I haven't had a good revenge lately. The camp trip was a bust. I was expecting the worse but got the best. My bro reads the blog sometimes so he might catch wind before it happens so I have to keep the "possible" revenge til after it "may happen". But who are we kidding, the revenge whenever it happens will be sweet.

I have this cold so I feel kinda out of it too for the past few days. I'm going to drink myself silly this weekend with some kind of beverage that gives you hallucinations, wish me luck!

Shopping List

1. Toothpaste
2. Sunglasses
3. Bread
4. Weed
5. Deodorant
6. Pepto Bismal
7. Drinks
8. Handcuffs
9. Razor Blades
10. Bullets
11. Tape
12. Garbage Bags
13. Map
14. Gun
15. Knife
16. Flashlight
17. Mags
18. Soap
19. Glycerin
20. Baking Soda

I'm planning a weekend with my brother and his friends in a few weeks. Never can be too careful.

*21. Tracking device attached to my body if I'm left in the middle of the woods choking on my blood, so my friends will be able to find me.

My brother and I have been kind of distance lately. I talked to him yesterday for awhile and he wanted me to come along with his friends "camping in the middle of nowhere" as he called it. So what kind of friends can crazy psychotic person have? I just get this weird feeling about the whole thing. Just imagine me but a little more crazy with dangerous things. What's the worse that can happen, death? Bring it

It's supposed to be Halloween weekend. I'm leaving Thursday night and I should be there Friday morning and leave Sunday morning and arrive back in one piece or "in one piece" Sunday night. I'm like really freakin out. With the whole restraining order thing that happened and was dropped, he's been kind of on edge. And put Halloween in the mix. A part of me can't wait, but another part of me wants to keep one eye open that weekend. But it's my brother, what's the worst that can happen? It's my brother, what's the worst that will happen?

The Pigs Are Involved

And it has nothing to do with me! For those who have been reading my blog for awhile know about my brother and his earth power hairy ex girlfriend. Of course I knew the relationship would never last but I sat back and waited for it to fall apart. Apparently, my brother still has feelings for her while she doesn't. I fucking don't know what he sees in her, but apparently she had to get a restraining order out against him. I guess the bastard doesn't fall far from the tree. He called me tonight and told me the news. He tells me its a miscommunication between them. I told him to use that excuse when the cops pistol whip him. I'm betting that this will end up badly. My brother is not the type to just let go. Unless he hates the girl, then he tries to end it quickly.

I personally have nothing against the girl. I wouldn't call her my best friend but I wouldn't call her an enemy. I haven't spoken to her since the trip.

Post to Earth Girl

If she reads my blog, my advice would be to see if being friends is an option with my brother. For my brother who I'm sure will be reading this post, is to just let her go, and I mean untie her and let her free. Because we both know this is how it will end. Oh and earth girl, when I say hairy legs I mean no disrespect at all. I tell it like I see it, as with my family and friends, you know I kid. Call me.

I don't know the whole story but I know my brother can be a little out there sometimes so I'm sure you felt you had to. My brother has a hard way of showing emotions and sometimes it scares people. My suggestion would be to talk it out, by phone first.

Anybody else who reads the blog, any suggestion would be helpful. I don't wanna make a side trip to prison this Christmas. If things start to get worse then I may have to straighten this out the only way I know how.....with love and compassion and a .48, kidding. But I'm getting better at talking to people now regarding emotions since I'm with my group, so I can be the mediator while you guys talk it out.
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And in other BIG NEWS!!!!

I found a quarter. You never find those anymore. It's always pennies and nickels.

Pre April Fools!

No point in pranking people on April Fools Day. Thats why you have to get them the day before, and thats when my brother comes in. First I was worried he had something planned for me so I was on guard. I feared that he would be inside my apartment waiting for me when I got home. I would've hit him with a bat if I had to, but luckily he was right where I wanted him to be. Since he was recently arrested I wanted to play a little prank involving cops. It was kind of hard to get some people to go along with it. I wanted his caveman ex girlfriend to be in on it but she changed her number (typical for many of our ex's), so I wasn't able to get her. I had to call a friend of a friend of a friend of his to get this prank going. So yada yada, a couple of guys showed up at my brother's place in uniforms to arrest him. He was already tipped off about it so it failed but he called me to congratulate me on trying. I know he's going to read this and I know that he's probably going to do something fucked up maybe tomorrow, maybe next week and maybe even months from now but I know he has something planned.

So on to my friends. This year is going to be unforgettable. I just finished putting the finishing touches on it. The fumes are getting to me so I'm going to have to crack a window.

FUCK U TOM BRADY!

I've given up on the Patriots. Once I saw how that final play was going down I knew it wouldn't work. I blame it all on Tom Brady.

So besides that fuck up, my weekend was pretty fucktastic. BM surprised us all and came down this weekend.



We all had a blast. It was fun having the entire gang together for the weekend. I think I cried a little.



On a side note, I had to take a piss really bad today. I held it for about 20 minutes and I thought I was going to explode. But I made it and was so happy. I remember when I was a kid and had to use the bathroom really bad and my brother wouldn't let me in. I fucking shit myself because of him. Now that I disgusted you my job for today is done.

Hellsgiving Week

The relationship with the stripper is over. We broke up Friday. She turned out to be more than just a stripper and I'll end it at that.

Well Thanksgiving was just as bad as I expected to be with my dad giving me his hatred of Rudolph Guliani and Target. Oh yeah and my brother got arrested Saturday night and my parents had to leave and bail him out of jail. Yeah, my Thanksgiving weekend rocked.

The Bloody Horror!

They got me, they got me good. I waited until midnight which was the official government time to end April Fools and went to bed. But yet they got me.

I feel so violated. When I was cuddling with my girlfriend last night I noticed that her boobs were somewhat flat and she seemed a bit muscular. I backed off a bit and looked a little closely. She seemed to have gained about 100 pounds in the middle of the night. I tried to wake her up. (She) turned around ask me what was wrong. I screamed in horror! It was my fucking brother! The bastard didn't leave yesterday!

It AAAALLLL made sense now. BM rode in the car with us to drop him off at the airport. BM insisted that we leave right away because she had to go somewhere important so I was unable to see him board the plane, DAMN IT! She had to have let him in during the night after she went to sleep in the bed with me and they switched and he put on a wig. Fucking cruel man, fucking cruel. Oh fucking gross! I cuddled with my brother! I touched his man boobs, AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! Years of therapy won't cure this moment in my life. WHY! This is just wrong!

His flight is now leaving on Wednesday. I will personally watch him board the plane. I will wait 5 hours at the airport to make sure the plane doesn't come back.

So after the many showers I took this morning, BM told me she is going to be in a pole dancing class. Very intrigued I am. I remember when I attempted to pole dance for her when the sex shop opened. I'm glad I ended my porn star dream. Well her giving me a pole dance to spice up the relationship should be fun.

The Good Son

Out of all the crazy shit I've done as a kid, I am considered the Good Son. HA! I'm sure my mom tells that to all of us alone. And of course little sis is the favorite! But I'm ok with that! NOT MAD AT ALL!

My bad brother is coming down this weekend and is staying the entire next week. He's spending part of his vacation with me. Scary. So I'm locking my doors and windows every night. I already plan on peeing in a cup so I won't have to leave the room. If BM has to use the bathroom then I guess I can unlock the window for her to use it. A week with a psycho, and my brother! What a fucked up week I'll have.

I just noticed that I see the brother that I really hate seeing but have fun with more often than the "new" brother that I like seeing but I am bored out of my mind with. I know he reads this so he knows he's my favorite. Hope that doesn't change your mind about giving me your big screen TV.

The painful memories of what happen last time he was here still haunts me. So I'm picking him at the airport on Friday, maybe, if I feel like going through a week of this. But he'll hunt me down and find me anyways so I guess I have to do it. I already have "something" planned for his first day, *evil laugh* HA HA HA HA HA HA!

So I have to remove anything with sharp edges from the rooms and cover up all electrical outlets for his arrival/disaster. Who knows, he might be a changed man, nah. The neighbors will be pleased with my brother on Friday. Now they will have to deal with 2 sick bastards for a week. I sense an eviction in the works.

Don't Worry, It's Only Monday!

Updates:

Of course dinner with the neighbors last week went on without anybody being killed or eaten. The food was good. I remember when I was a kid and I saw the movie Aliens. My stomach was hurting really bad and for the longest I thought an alien was going to pop out of my stomach. I had to fess up to my mom that I watched the movie and that I needed emergency surgery because I need to remove an alien baby out of my tummy. Those were the days. Horrific child nightmares involving alien conception.

Christmas is soon, I think. I still don't know where I'm going. My girlfriend wants to spend it at her parents house. My parents and sister are going south for Christmas. The family lost contact with my brother a couple of weeks ago. I can't get in contact with him either. Don't worry, he isn't dead. He always does this. He would disappear for weeks and just show up out of nowhere. He's been talking about coming here for Christmas, yikes. My other brother wants to invite me and my girlfriend down to spend Christmas with his family. He does have a giant HDTV. Of course being with family would be great but he has a big screen TV! I don't know if I can have a Mormon like Christmas with my girlfriends uptight parents. I love them though BM, don't hit me.

Speaking of Christmas, I have to get some first minute gifts. I save my last minute gifts for Christmas morning. I'm going to the mall to pick up some stuff then head over to Hell Mart to pick up some food tomorrow.