The Sick Fucking Bastard Is Back!

Oh it feels so fucking good to curse again on this blog. So how can I start the year off Sick Fucking Bastard style.........I got it!

I forgot which sick friend told me this story and I don't remember it all that well. And it's not a question you would bring into a conversation, but I'll tell the story how I remember it. This couple who really enjoyed freaky sex tried something new. So what they did is that they inserted food in her vagina and he would, you know, eat it. Well apparently she got sick and she got infected. She went to the doctor to get it checked out and the doctor found maggots inside her just eating the rotting food. I forgot what happened next but I'm sure they got it cleaned out.

So how was everybody's New Years? I had so many fucking mixed drinks. I need to stop waking up in weird places. Apparently I crashed at this apartment and nobody was there. I checked myself to see if I was missing an organ. I'm still sticking to the fact that I'm not an alcoholic, just a lover of fine wines and liver fuckerupers.

Another Day

This past weekend I did the same thing I always do, drink. As I was purposely losing at beer pong, I wondered if this is what my life has become. A depressed alcoholic with severe ups and downs. I laugh because to avoid any serious thinking I just drink more to get my mind off of it. Captain Morgan never tasted so good. Drink the pain away, that's my motto. Since you always have to watch your back with drugs, alcohol seems to be the easiest high. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'm not an alcoholic. Alcoholics get drunk alone, I get drunk with other people. Years down the line it will come back to haunt me but you have to live life to the fullest, since my life is thrown up in the toilet every weekend.

I remember one time I got so drunk that I swore that I'll never drink again. I only get drunk off of hard liquor, beer just gives me a buzz. I was buzzed all night then all of a sudden it hit me hard. Headaches and nonstop vomiting. I was throwing up all night about every 10 minutes. I threw up everything that I had that day, and once that was done I started throwing up blood. I was at a friends house. I was too drunk to drive. A little after 5 hours later of throwing up blood, I went to the gas station and got some Pepto Bismal and I was cured. I went home and just stayed in my bed with all the lights off trying to cover my ears from the birds chirping. I swore to myself that I'll never drink again. That was until the weekend after that.

I never threw up blood before after drinking. I had to look it up. When drinking causes you to bleed then it must be serious. I think they said that the gastric acid constantly going up my throat burned away at my esophagus or something like that. I was shocked. Now if I could learn to spit the acid. I did change my behavior though after that. I never mixed hard drinks together and drunk it for an extended period of time. But you know my motto, Drink the pain away. Once you're drunk, who'll stop you?

1st Beer

It was like drinking from a beer angel's tit.

Feeling the Buzz

My friends have alerted me about my parents upcoming intervention with me. My parents think that I have a drinking problem and they've been calling people wondering how often I drink. I don't consider myself an alcoholic, which is probably something an alcoholic would say. I know my limits, until I can't remember how many I've already dranked. I haven't gotten drunk in the past couple of days. My friends are always with me and they know when I've had enough, I think. I'm more of a casual drinker. Drinking alone makes you drink more. I'm not even a fan of beer. I like the harder stuff.

They call me one time and I was drunk and they think that I'm an alcoholic. It was months ago, I thought they forgot. My parents know I don't like confrontations like these so that's why they want to do it. I admit that I did start drinking underage. When I was still living at home, my parents kind of had a feeling that I was drinking so one time I remember coming into my room a little drunk and when I turned on my lights, my parents were on the bed waiting for me. Scared the shit out of me. My mom smelled my breath and they both left the room. I knew I was busted. Woke up the next morning I was grounded for the entire summer.

But I'm just like everybody else. So here's my question, I think my parents read my blog so I was wondering do you guys think I drink too much?

On a side note, that picture looks mighty tasty. Hope it doesn't interfere with your decision.

Hungover

I fear my parents think I'm a alcoholic. It seems like sometimes when they call me I'm somewhat unable to come to the phone. That's why I now have two best friends.


I dranked a little too much last night. I couldn't stop throwing up. And then the painful dry heaving started. I told myself I will never drank another drop again if I stopped dry heaving, and I started dry heaving again. I had to eat/drink something to stop the dry heaving. Even though it would just be wet, it was better than dry heaving it. I got the Pepto and Tylenol and within an hour I was 80% better. Now I'm just waiting for the aches and pains to go away. My entire chest hurts from dry heaving so much. I thought I was gonna die! It's times like these you hope your parents don't read these things about their children.

And no the drinking is not a cry for help. I know I've been depressed a bit in the past and alcohol always seems to be the answer for a lot of depressed people, but that's just not me. I don't drink it to make me feel better, I drink it because I like it. Well maybe that wasn't a good comparison. I have no alcoholic beverages in my fridge which proves I'm not an alcoholic, and no I didn't already drink all the alcoholic beverages in my fridge already.

Is a side effect of Tylenol drowsiness? I'm going to take a nap now.