The Girl of My Dreams

I found the girl of my dreams! She cooks and clean. She wants sex just as much as I do and she wants to give it whenever I ask. And she's only $10 an hour. Kind of like a marriage. I'm never getting married. I won't be able to wake up and smell the morning breath of my significant other in my face. I can't stand for her "letting herself go". It's like since we're married, I could give a fuck about how unattractive I look. I can't go to my kid's soccer match with all the soccer dads talking about how miserable our lives are. I want to get genital herpes at 82 years old. I want to die holding a bottle of beer in one hand and a boob of a girl at hooters in the other. My other brother looks so miserable with his wife. He doesn't notice it but I see it. My mom and dad are happily married, but if they didn't have any kids they would've been living the single life by now. Marriage is a trap door with a broken lock. Once your in, you're stuck. I'm like, I like you but I don't want to see you in the morning. Then theirs the "I Love You's". What's the point of saying it. If we're together, isn't that enough. Need the relationship be based on words? But I digress. The woman of my dreams is a prostitute. Pay her for her services and smiles. Not looking for something permanent and would leave before you even wake up in the morning. Isn't marriage the same thing? The only difference is that in marriage, she never leaves.

I'd end up married with 10 kids by the time I hit 30. All I keep saying is that I should've wore that condom. Kids asking me for money to the zoo, "I should've wore that condom". Need money for college, "I should've wore that condom". The prostitute I had sex with is pregnant with twins, "I should've wore that condom".