Sideburns

A few years ago I was trimming my sideburns but one side was shorter than the other so I trimmed it but I kept messing up so I trimmed again until eventually I didn't have anymore. I couldn't go a few days looking like that so I went to get a haircut instead, but then when I looked in the mirror it still didn't look right. So I asked the barber to cut shorter and even looked worse than before so I just told him to shave it all off. Big mistake. I looked like I just got out of chemo. So it was hats and sunglasses for a little over week until my hair started growing back.

Don't Be Hatin'

Time for another flashback. I remember "back in the day" I bought this gold tooth. I was so fucking fly! That was until my gums started bleeding. I think I put it on wrong or it might've been too big, but it was cool to be gangsta for half a day.

In other news, I had a dream last night. I dreamt that my sister killed my entire family except me because she felt unappreciated and I had to give her a reason why I should be spared. I couldn't give her an answer and I eventually woke up. Does it have a hidden meaning? Oh well, perhaps I'll have the ending of that dream tonight, or have that dream about the monkey driving a car which always crack me up.

Ant Boy

Waking up in bed in a cold sweat as a kid feeling these things crawling on my leg. Lifting up the sheet and seeing in horror my lower body covered in millions of ants. In shock so bad I couldn't speak, I tried to get them off. It was dark and I couldn't see all that well. Running into my parents room screaming and crying about being covered in ants. My parents assured me that the ants were not on me. They went with me back to my room to confirm, and to my shock, the ants were not their either. Being part my imagination was the last thing on my mind. Wondering how the ants disappeared so fast was bugging me. They left the room and I looked under the bed and under the pillows and under the sheets to try and find one single ant to prove my theory correct. Perhaps it was all in my head or could they be millions of ants just waiting for me to fall asleep. Watching the Discovery Channel or having the neighborhood bully bother me that day probably had some impact on my dream. Or the ants could've had a deeper meaning as a kid. Being held down by a million things with no escape that all have the power to bring me down with one single millionth bite. Nor sweet dream or nightmare can rid me of this horror. Pulling the sheet over my head was my only sanctuary. Afraid to look down in fear of the ants returning, I closed my eyes hard and swore to never open them until morning.

To this day I still believe their was at least one ant in my bed that night.

Flashback

One time when I was a kid, I had way too much sugar and I attempted to do a back flip blindfolded with no hands. 1st attempt and only attempt, I fucked up badly. I landed on my head. I felt this numbness in my head that started to work itself down my body. My brother was just looking at me laying on the ground in a daze and laughed. It hurt so bad. But I didn't cry. I was holding it in to show I was tough. But I landed on my head. Head injuries are the worst.

Flaashback

Time for another flashback. When I was a kid I was punished for doing something so I couldn't go outside. I remember I asked permission if I could runaway. They said no, so what I did is that I packed up all my stuff in my room and setup a whole new room inside the bathroom. Then my bastard brother came in and destroyed it all. Funny, I can't seem to figure out why we always fight.

Choke

I remember I was eating a hot pocket while watching tv a long time ago. Something funny happened I laughed and then I started to choke. I couldn't stop coughing. Nobody was in the apartment with me at the time to help me. I tried to drink some water but it didn't work. I started throwing the water up when I tried to drink it. Eventually I stopped choking and refused to eat another hot pocket again.

I was a little pissed that nobody came knocking at my door to see if I was ok. It was like the middle of the night on a weekday so I knew they were home. They'd rather sleep then save my life. WELL I HOPE MY ROTTING BODY DOESN'T BOTHER THEM!!!!! If I was in their shoes and somebody was coughing, I probably would've just turned my tv up and assume they'll get over it. Who dies from choking anymore really? I almost did! the assholes. I would've haunted the bastards forever.

It Was Hilarious

I remember awhile ago I was in my car and this woman was trying to back into a spot. She tried and tried and when she finally got it, she slid her car totally against the other person's car knocking off his side mirror. She then pulled her car all the way in and got out of her car and tried to reattach the person's mirror. After a few unsuccessful attempts she gave up and kicked the mirror under the person's car. She then wrote a note and put it under the windshield wiper and walked away. I was so tempted to read that note but I had to go. I assumed she left her info since she didn't change parking spaces.

Me personally, I would've gotten a bat and destroyed her car once I found out she did all that while she was in it, then I'll flee the scene, but that's just me.